As some of you may have read before my mother was diagnosed with cancer last week. She has been in the hospital since we found, but hopefully is going home today. I have been really stressing out as you can imagine. We found out that her treatment is going to be really intense and she probably won't be able to work. which means no money. My brother still lives at home, but he is on workers' comp and they have cut his money until his next hearing. I know the rigt thing to do is for me to help them. This means that I would have to get a second job. Now Fh and I are fighting about money. If I get a second job I will be giving that money to my mother and I think FH will get upset. We could really use the money to put towards our wedding. On top of that my brother isn't very reliable and I know that I am probably going to have to get my mother to all of her dr appointments. What would you do if you were in my situation?
vmystique33
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Re: NWR: I need some advice.......
Im so sorry to hear this your def. in a tough situation I would propably get a 2nd job and help my mom do you really think fh would get mad considering these circumstances? If yes why do you think so?
PreshusSmurf
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Re: NWR: I need some advice.......
I agree, I think that you have to take care of your Mom right now. And if that means taking a 2nd job to help with her expenses, then so be it. Your FH loves you, and he should understand the situation.
But I think that if you are working 2 jobs, there is no reason that your brother shouldn't be helping out too .... it should be his responsibility to get your Mom to her doctor appointments. I think you need to have a heart to heart with him about this. And even if it means that you have to call your brother to remind him, at least you shouldn't have to take off from work for the appointments.
In times like these, everyone needs to pitch in and help out!
ziamaria
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Re: NWR: I need some advice.......
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom finances are always an issue - especially when there isn't much to go around...do what makes you feel right. its your mom, and if you needed her, i'm sure she'd do what she could for you. in the grand scheme of things, a wedding is a huge party - its the marriage that is truly important, remind yourself of this and it will make your choice easier.
my dad is having his prostate removed on the 8th and though i dont have the time off of work, i want to be with him and i know it will be an issue with my fiance, but i dont care - its my daddy!
do what makes your heart feel right!
vmystique33
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Re: NWR: I need some advice.......
I agree somehow your brother needs to chip in this cant be all on you
gaccrrm
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Re: NWR: I need some advice.......
My fh understands that I need to do what I need to do, but it burns him up that my brother gets away with never doing anything. I really don't blame him for feeling that way. I know what I have to do and I am just going to have to do it.
Future Mrs.
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Re: NWR: I need some advice.......
I have been in your situation. THe same situation.
This is personal, but if I were you, I would do anything and everything to help my Mom. My FH would toally back me up 100%, too.
Everyone has different opinions about this, but this is your MOTHER. You are a mother and a daughter.
If I were you, I would think twice about what is really important here.
I don't mean to sound harsh....but perhaps you should also sit down with FH and have a discussion about this..............this is both of your families....and this is a crisis. Your lives together will be filled with crises. You'll have good times, and very bad times. This is life. I really beleive that you need to be there for your Mom.......yet I also speak for myself; I don't know your family situations.
Jennifer907
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Re: NWR: I need some advice.......
I'm not in the same exact situation, but a similar one and I knwo it stinks. IMO, I would do what you need to do to take care of your Mom. She's your Mom; she has taken care fo you your whole life and now she needs someone to do the same for her. Again, it's just my opinion, but in your heart you'll know what the right thing to do is. And I'm so sorry to here about your Mom. Keep us posted.
kitty1224
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Re: NWR: I need some advice.......
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I would help my mom and FH needs to understand thats she is your family and you can not turn your back on her.
gaccrrm
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Re: NWR: I need some advice.......
I just want to make it clear that FH is supportive about my mom. The only thing he is not happy with is the situation with my brother. He is 22 and is on workers' comp. My brother has never made any effort to work and then he got a job and within 2 weeks he got hurt at work and never worked again. His idea of hard work is sleeping. It drives us crazy. I think what is buring FH up is the fact that all my brother wants to do is go and hang out with his friends. This is the time when my mother needs me and my brother to be there for her. He is just selfish and FH can't take it anymore. Fh feels that my brother should be chipping in more financially instead of smoking, drinking and hanging out with his friends. So this is why he is upset with the idea of me getting a second job.
eunicsd006
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Re: NWR: I need some advice.......
it is understandable why ur fh is upset...but if he were in ur shoes would he get the 2nd job?i think he would.....u only have one mother...ur mom is lucky to have u as her daughter..i wouldnt worry about fh im sure he understands and will support u..hes probably looking out for u cuz he loves u and doesnt want u to get hurt....as for ur brother im sure sooner or later hell regret wat he is doing.....good luck...
gaccrrm
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Re: NWR: I need some advice.......
Posted by eunicsd006
it is understandable why ur fh is upset...but if he were in ur shoes would he get the 2nd job?i think he would.....u only have one mother...ur mom is lucky to have u as her daughter..i wouldnt worry about fh im sure he understands and will support u..hes probably looking out for u cuz he loves u and doesnt want u to get hurt....as for ur brother im sure sooner or later hell regret wat he is doing.....good luck...
