Ok so my brother started dating his GF when I was in 12th grade (17 y/o) and shes an amazing person who helped me break out of my shell and become who I am. She really became my BIG SISTER and I love her so much. Well I met my FH in 2001 and shared my first date with him as a double date with her and my brother so she has been there since the very beginning. Well shortly after that date her and my brother broke up. . . after 9 months they got back together and that was amazing because I had my sister back well they went away the other day and she found out my JACKASS of a brother has cheated on her and broke up with him changed her phone number and cancelled her email account. . . she has given me her new name but no one is to know. . . she told me that she loves me and i am her sister but she can no longet be part of my wedding not only is she a BM but she is also doing a reading. . . the wedding is in 45 days and now im sort a BM and a reader cause my brother is a ****. . . I just want to cry i love her so much how can he do this to her. . . . . . and to me..
TnOiOnL
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Re: NWR: I NEED TO VENT AND CRY
o god im very sorry about all this...
melisjoe
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Oh I am so sorry!!!!! just wanted to send you
Dee606
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I'm sorry
Noogiefan
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Oh hun I'm sorry to hear that.
Honestly though - it's better you found out now the kind of 'SISTER' she is. Despite the rocky relationship history she has gone through with your brother, she still accepted to be YOUR bridesmaid AND reader for YOUR wedding. She agreed to taking on these tasks because she said she loves you and will be there for you.
Granted it must be hard for her to have go down the same road she went down before by cutting ties with your brother, but that shouldn't have anything to do with YOU and YOUR special day. She turned promises into priorities, and now because she decided to be self consumed with her own issues - she is flatlining you with such short notice.
If I was in that situation I'd try to explain that she broke up with my brother, not ME - and if she can't still be by my side then I don't want anything to do with her. Sever the ties completely - or you'll be hurt by this 'SISTER' again.
LuckiestGirl
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Well i understand why she pulled out. . . how can she look at my brother. . . .i just wish my brother wasnt so stupid.
kateretak2
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Posted by Noogiefan
Oh hun I'm sorry to hear that.
Honestly though - it's better you found out now the kind of 'SISTER' she is. Despite the rocky relationship history she has gone through with your brother, she still accepted to be YOUR bridesmaid AND reader for YOUR wedding. She agreed to taking on these tasks because she said she loves you and will be there for you.
Granted it must be hard for her to have go down the same road she went down before by cutting ties with your brother, but that shouldn't have anything to do with YOU and YOUR special day. She turned promises into priorities, and now because she decided to be self consumed with her own issues - she is flatlining you with such short notice.
If I was in that situation I'd try to explain that she broke up with my brother, not ME - and if she can't still be by my side then I don't want anything to do with her. Sever the ties completely - or you'll be hurt by this 'SISTER' again.
I may have glossed over something in the original post but this sounds a little harsh, I'm sure she loves you like a sister and I can see why after dating your brother for so long and knowing your family so well and the fact that he cheated on her, it may be incredibly painful for her to be in your wedding or in his presence. I know I would be miserable the entire time if I were her, even if I wanted to be happy for your sake. Does she have a her dress at this point? Maybe give her a little more time to decide what she wants to do? And ultimately, aside from missing her being there canceling a bok or doubling up groomsmen honestly isn't a huge deal although it may seem so right now. Good luck
LuckiestGirl
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I may have glossed over something in the original post but this sounds a little harsh, I'm sure she loves you like a sister and I can see why after dating your brother for so long and knowing your family so well and the fact that he cheated on her, it may be incredibly painful for her to be in your wedding or in his presence. I know I would be miserable the entire time if I were her, even if I wanted to be happy for your sake. Does she have a her dress at this point? Maybe give her a little more time to decide what she wants to do? And ultimately, aside from missing her being there canceling a bok or doubling up groomsmen honestly isn't a huge deal although it may seem so right now. Good luck
yea she has her dress. . . im more sad because i wont see her as much as i did. Family parties will be dull cause i wont have her to talk with. My birthday dinner will be different. She was in my life almost 10 years. . . . . its just hard to imagine her not being here and im more upset she will not be marrying my brother because i thought for sure she was going to be my SIL
kateretak2
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Time heals. She may not end up in your life the way you've imagined she would be but that doesn't mean she can't still be an important part of it. It'll be OK. For now, while things are still uncertain, talk to her and maybe find a way to celebrate your wedding with her that she will be comfortable with, so that she can still share this with you.
AMGBride2008
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Posted by Noogiefan
Oh hun I'm sorry to hear that.
Honestly though - it's better you found out now the kind of 'SISTER' she is. Despite the rocky relationship history she has gone through with your brother, she still accepted to be YOUR bridesmaid AND reader for YOUR wedding. She agreed to taking on these tasks because she said she loves you and will be there for you.
Granted it must be hard for her to have go down the same road she went down before by cutting ties with your brother, but that shouldn't have anything to do with YOU and YOUR special day. She turned promises into priorities, and now because she decided to be self consumed with her own issues - she is flatlining you with such short notice.
If I was in that situation I'd try to explain that she broke up with my brother, not ME - and if she can't still be by my side then I don't want anything to do with her. Sever the ties completely - or you'll be hurt by this 'SISTER' again.
I have to strongly disagree with you. Her brother's ex isn't doing any of this to intentionally hurt her. Sometimes we have to put ourselves in front of others regardless of the situation.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you so soon before the wedding. I would let her know that there is an open spot for her if she decides that she can go thru with being at your wedding. Find a replacement for the reading or don't do it at all, but let her know that you will be there for her as much as possible.
What does your brother say???
DiamondPipa
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Re: NWR: I NEED TO VENT AND CRY
Posted by kateretak2
Posted by Noogiefan
Oh hun I'm sorry to hear that.
Honestly though - it's better you found out now the kind of 'SISTER' she is. Despite the rocky relationship history she has gone through with your brother, she still accepted to be YOUR bridesmaid AND reader for YOUR wedding. She agreed to taking on these tasks because she said she loves you and will be there for you.
Granted it must be hard for her to have go down the same road she went down before by cutting ties with your brother, but that shouldn't have anything to do with YOU and YOUR special day. She turned promises into priorities, and now because she decided to be self consumed with her own issues - she is flatlining you with such short notice.
If I was in that situation I'd try to explain that she broke up with my brother, not ME - and if she can't still be by my side then I don't want anything to do with her. Sever the ties completely - or you'll be hurt by this 'SISTER' again.
I may have glossed over something in the original post but this sounds a little harsh, I'm sure she loves you like a sister and I can see why after dating your brother for so long and knowing your family so well and the fact that he cheated on her, it may be incredibly painful for her to be in your wedding or in his presence. I know I would be miserable the entire time if I were her, even if I wanted to be happy for your sake. Does she have a her dress at this point? Maybe give her a little more time to decide what she wants to do? And ultimately, aside from missing her being there canceling a bok or doubling up groomsmen honestly isn't a huge deal although it may seem so right now. Good luck
well said
CMaria81
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I'm sorry to hear this. I would tell her how much you want her to be a part of this and tell her while you understand how hurt she is ask her if she could possibly take a few weeks to think about it. Tell her you will call her in two weeks and meet up for coffee, lunch, drinks etc. and if she still decides she can't go through with it, tell her you'll understand though you will surely miss her presence. Since this is so fresh in her mind maybe some time will help her out.
bonitachyc
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Re: NWR: I NEED TO VENT AND CRY
omgosh sweetie that's terrible!!!!!!!!
PegaLega
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b/c you need them
NYpradamama
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Wow I'm sorry , It's supposed to be a happy time try and remain positive. You have to ofcourse respect how she feels, I'm sure she is hurt by him. But at the end of the day he is still your brother even though he did something to affect your life/relationship with her. Men are Men! You may be angry with right now because of what he did and when he did it, but it happens. Life is too short don't hold a grudge and try to maintain whatever you can with his ex. Just respect how she feels it's probably a difficult time for her as well and I'm sure she wants to be there for you
HeatherRose
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I'm sorry your going through this.. this is a tough one.
Mooshyboo
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OMG I am soooo sorry ~ There is no way that you can convince her to come dispite your brother I know it might be weird but since it is so close to your wedding ~ I just feel if I was in her shoes and It sounds like you are sooo close I would totally still be your BM and do your reading because I would be there for you not your brother ~ maybe have a talk with her.... I hope things get better!!!
Mooshyboo
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Posted by CMaria81
I'm sorry to hear this. I would tell her how much you want her to be a part of this and tell her while you understand how hurt she is ask her if she could possibly take a few weeks to think about it. Tell her you will call her in two weeks and meet up for coffee, lunch, drinks etc. and if she still decides she can't go through with it, tell her you'll understand though you will surely miss her presence. Since this is so fresh in her mind maybe some time will help her out.
