NWR - Need Advice

Ok... here it goes my cousin got engaged about 1 1/2 ago and asked me to be a bridesmaid. I then got engaged in July and started planning my wedding and she then asked if I wanted to back out of the wedding because of all of my expense, I said no it is ok - not realizing how much my wedding is going to cost since we are going full blown.

She is getting married in December and I have done my budget and we are house shopping and the girls just e-mailed me and said that the the place that they found for her bridal shower is $335 each plus favors and plus gifts...WOW.. I honestly can't afford it between the bachlorette party, br odal shower, make up, dress, shoes, accessories, gifts and my fiancee is in the wedding.

I do not want to hurt her feelings but in the same respecct I think that she should understand my situation...

What do u guys think... please I need your input.....

TIA

IMO I think that you should do whatever you need to do to honour your commitment. If you back out now, the other bridesmaids will have to divide the $335 amongst themselves to cover your portion.

You can try to trim back other expenses... do your own hair and makeup for her wedding day. Make a deal with your cousin not to exchange bridal shower gifts w/ each other. Trim back your participation in the bachelorette party.. skip the dinner and meet up later or whatever works.

Chances are some of the expenses you mentioned you would spend anyway as a guest... most likely buying a dress, shoes and accessories to attend her wedding as a guest?

Later in life you may regret not participating to save yourself some money.

Again, JMO.

Ditto...

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Posted by fashiondiva

IMO I think that you should do whatever you need to do to honour your commitment. If you back out now, the other bridesmaids will have to divide the $335 amongst themselves to cover your portion.

You can try to trim back other expenses... do your own hair and makeup for her wedding day. Make a deal with your cousin not to exchange bridal shower gifts w/ each other. Trim back your participation in the bachelorette party.. skip the dinner and meet up later or whatever works.

Chances are some of the expenses you mentioned you would spend anyway as a guest... most likely buying a dress, shoes and accessories to attend her wedding as a guest?

Later in life you may regret not participating to save yourself some money.

Again, JMO.

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I think this is great advice. If you have long hair, you could probably do it yourself easily in a basic low bun style or something like that ... We all do our makeup every day, and at night when we go out - so it really isn't too much different to do it for a wedding. I think the only time I got my makeup done for a wedding was for my sister's, when I was the MOH.

I have been in bridal parties and not even gone to the bach. party for the $$$ reason, so I think if you came later that would be completely acceptable. And I think it is a great idea not to exchange gifts. You can simply tell your cousin, 'listen, since we are both getting married later this year, let's make a deal and not get each other gifts, ok?' I am sure she needs the $ too!

Is she in your bridal party too?

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Posted by JBoothIn2008

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Posted by fashiondiva

IMO I think that you should do whatever you need to do to honour your commitment. If you back out now, the other bridesmaids will have to divide the $335 amongst themselves to cover your portion.

You can try to trim back other expenses... do your own hair and makeup for her wedding day. Make a deal with your cousin not to exchange bridal shower gifts w/ each other. Trim back your participation in the bachelorette party.. skip the dinner and meet up later or whatever works.

Chances are some of the expenses you mentioned you would spend anyway as a guest... most likely buying a dress, shoes and accessories to attend her wedding as a guest?

Later in life you may regret not participating to save yourself some money.

Again, JMO.

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I think this is great advice. If you have long hair, you could probably do it yourself easily in a basic low bun style or something like that ... We all do our makeup every day, and at night when we go out - so it really isn't too much different to do it for a wedding. I think the only time I got my makeup done for a wedding was for my sister's, when I was the MOH.

I have been in bridal parties and not even gone to the bach. party for the $$$ reason, so I think if you came later that would be completely acceptable. And I think it is a great idea not to exchange gifts. You can simply tell your cousin, 'listen, since we are both getting married later this year, let's make a deal and not get each other gifts, ok?' I am sure she needs the $ too!

Is she in your bridal party too?

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She is demanding that we get our make up done by her make uo artist and demanding that she do our hair as well.. She is real high maintenace.. and crabby..

She is not in my wedding. I know that it stinks but in the same aspect I think that she should understand that I am on a budget.

I could only imagine what the girls have planned for her bachlorette party....

I have also expressed my concerns with the other BM's some agree that it is too much $$$ and others are like well u only have this once hopefully. But I do not think that a bridal shower should be a mini wedding.

IF you have gone over your budget and just cant afford it then talk to her-Im sure that she will be understanding especially since when you got engaged she asked you if you wanted to step out. Explain to her that you didnt realize how much your wedding was really going to cost and you just cant see how you will be able to do it.

WOW! That is really expensive! I'm sure if you spoke with her and said that you are doing your best to save money to be there for her on her special day but its a little too expensive. I think she would understand, since you both are planning weddings.