nwr: need opinion on disagreement with FH

This is long and starts out confusing...
FH's mothers friends husband died earlier this week
When FH found out he was sad for his mom and her friend etc but it had no impact on him (as so he told me) bc he hasnt seen this man in ages and was never close with them.
They are having a memorial service next weekend and FMIL asked FH to go (i already have a ticket to see my nieces dance recital so I am not expected to go).
Here is the problem...the service is far away and we have a wedding far away that starts at 630pm.

FH has two options...
1 - take the train for 2 hours and drive for 2 hours which means i show up at the wedding alone and i know NO ONE at this weeding
2 - taking the car and spending 4.5 hours driving that day and we arrive at the wedding together.

He wants to do option 1 which means i have to show up alone...am i being a baby by saying I dont want to drive & show up to a strangers wedding alone?
I feel like he should argue with his mom that its too much driving for one day instead of making that argument with me.
But i do know that i am biased bc fmil always does things to aggravate me and therefore i know i may not be thinking rationally.

what would you tell FH to do? Do i suck it up and show up alone or make him to the driving back and forth so we can show up together?

crashing.

i think you should drive to the wedding solo and meet your FH there.

an hour and a half drive isn't *that* bad anyhow ... and it's just one way

i do understand exactly where you're coming from though ... i've been in similar boats with my MIL.

sorry

---

Posted by AwaitingAugust

crashing.

i think you should drive to the wedding solo and meet your FH there.

an hour and a half drive isn't *that* bad anyhow ... and it's just one way

i do understand exactly where you're coming from though ... i've been in similar boats with my MIL.

sorry

---

Agreed - it's a hard situation b/c you may feel FMIL's has a big influence (Which would piss me off too - but FH is making this dissision - whenever there's a death involved it always becomes difficult. He's just trying to be supportive although he didnt have a current relationship with this man. HTH.....

Paula.... HAHAHAHAHA, No, no, no. Knowing this situation and you guys, just no! LOL. I know him well enough for you to tell him you don't wanna go alone. Is he going as his mothers companion to comfort her?

Also, I wouldn't show up alone. That would make me so uncomfortable and you know Im not a shy person. I get that its her close friends husband, I do, I've lost two mothers, grandparents, etc... Guess what, I can barely remember who showed up for me. Sure it's a nice gesture on his part but unless his mother is so broken up that she can't stand enough on her own bc she is so upset than he doesn't have to go. (Is his dad even going?!!) Is he at all close with this woman? His mother may be looking for another thing to try and hold a grudge over, in which case, its getting so close, do you even wanna deal with her bs?

Id say work out timing with him. Knowing him Im sure you two can work something out. Youre great together. I may be biased from knowing a bit about her and the background.

---

Posted by linda_art
unless his mother is so broken up that she can't stand enough on her own bc she is so upset than he doesn't have to go. (Is his dad even going?!!) Is he at all close with this woman? His mother may be looking for another thing to try and hold a grudge over, in which case, its getting so close, do you even wanna deal with her bs?

I may be biased from knowing a bit about her and the background.

---

I thought I was being biased just because we all deal with FMIL drama ... but after reading this post, I'm guessing there's a monster in law somewhere underneath the surface. You should not have to go to this wedding alone!