NWR- Need to Vent!

I know exactly what you are going through right now. My MOH is one of my best friends Ericka, I have known her for over 10 yrs. We are practically like sisters, except we never argued until now. I have three other best friends who we have all known each other since we were 2 yrs old our entire families know each other. But for the past 5-6 yrs we have gotten distant due to moving far away, babies and relationships. However we all know that no matter what we would be there for each other. I chose Ericka over the other 3 because we have been inseparable for 10 yrs even though she got married, got 2 kids and has moved constantly. I thought she deserved to be my MOH. Boy was I wrong. Lately she has been so flaky, all of a sudden her phone dies for a WEEK!!!! or she could only receive incoming calls, or only receives txts or leaves her phone at family house. She missed helping with my invitations because her phone was dead for a week and my BMs, who Ive have known longer, all showed up and even took day off from work, left child with babysitter and one had to move out of her mans house due to break up but was there for me. They were asking ME about my bridal shower cuz my MOH hasnt contacted them at all. Everytime I invite my MOH for anything even a BBQ, all of a sudden her daughters are sick or that phone thing again. She had become so unreliable and its stressing me out. I know my BMs must be asking themselves why I chose her over any of them but wouldnt dare tell me anything. They have been great. One actually offered to pay and take care of my wedding programs and place cards becuase she saw how stressed out I was. I really regret chosing ericka as my MOH. FH and I doubt she will even show up at my BS , bachelorette party or wedding because thats how unreliable she is. The thing with her is that she doesnt even tell you if she cant make it, i have to txt her all the time or call her just to see if shes coming. I dont even mind that she doesnt attend our gatherings I just hate that she never calls and says 'i cant make it.' I was gonna chose her as our first child godmother but FH wants me to get someone else because hes afraid ericka wont be there for our future child.
I hope she proves me wrong. BS is supposed to be in April, we'll see how that goes.

im so sorry u r going through this
do u think in any way she could be jealous of the weddiing?maybe thats it,maybe its not....maybe she is just tired of all the wedding talk..i say that cause i get it from my 3 sisters all the time ..all i know is if u talkevery day its clear she loves u and im sure she will come around..but if u feel this way u should talk 2 her,better than keeping it inside..hth feel better

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Posted by rbjugdarro

I know exactly what you are going through right now. My MOH is one of my best friends Ericka, I have known her for over 10 yrs. We are practically like sisters, except we never argued until now. I have three other best friends who we have all known each other since we were 2 yrs old our entire families know each other. But for the past 5-6 yrs we have gotten distant due to moving far away, babies and relationships. However we all know that no matter what we would be there for each other. I chose Ericka over the other 3 because we have been inseparable for 10 yrs even though she got married, got 2 kids and has moved constantly. I thought she deserved to be my MOH. Boy was I wrong. Lately she has been so flaky, all of a sudden her phone dies for a WEEK!!!! or she could only receive incoming calls, or only receives txts or leaves her phone at family house. She missed helping with my invitations because her phone was dead for a week and my BMs, who Ive have known longer, all showed up and even took day off from work, left child with babysitter and one had to move out of her mans house due to break up but was there for me. They were asking ME about my bridal shower cuz my MOH hasnt contacted them at all. Everytime I invite my MOH for anything even a BBQ, all of a sudden her daughters are sick or that phone thing again. She had become so unreliable and its stressing me out. I know my BMs must be asking themselves why I chose her over any of them but wouldnt dare tell me anything. They have been great. One actually offered to pay and take care of my wedding programs and place cards becuase she saw how stressed out I was. I really regret chosing ericka as my MOH. FH and I doubt she will even show up at my BS , bachelorette party or wedding because thats how unreliable she is. The thing with her is that she doesnt even tell you if she cant make it, i have to txt her all the time or call her just to see if shes coming. I dont even mind that she doesnt attend our gatherings I just hate that she never calls and says 'i cant make it.' I was gonna chose her as our first child godmother but FH wants me to get someone else because hes afraid ericka wont be there for our future child.
I hope she proves me wrong. BS is supposed to be in April, we'll see how that goes.

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Hey- thanks for the response. I'm sorry that you are going through this also. It sounds like your MOH is being very flaky and I'm sure it's so frustrating for you. Especially since you picked her above your other friends. Like with my sister (MOH) I know she has been planning stuff which I do appreciate but when it comes to actually hanging out with me...we make plans and she never keeps them. It's like really starting to hurt my feelings. I mean it's great she's in contact with my friends but I think it's really odd that she keeps cancelling on me. MY FH thinks that she could feel insecure since I'm getting married and making all these future plans. She has a b/f but I guess cant relate really. Maybe your MOH feels like that too? It's just really frustrating when your best freinds/family dont come through for you when you need them most ya know? I really hope things get better for you and she will start participating in things. Or at least calling you to let you know she cant make it. My sister does that but it's usually a half hour before telling me she is tired or has a headache. So rude!!

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Posted by gina409

im so sorry u r going through this
do u think in any way she could be jealous of the weddiing?maybe thats it,maybe its not....maybe she is just tired of all the wedding talk..i say that cause i get it from my 3 sisters all the time ..all i know is if u talkevery day its clear she loves u and im sure she will come around..but if u feel this way u should talk 2 her,better than keeping it inside..hth feel better

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I think you could be right about the jealous thing...I KNOW she is sick of all of the wedding talk too. She told me a few months ago that she feels my parents are constantly focusing on me and my FH and not on her or her b/f anymore....I did feel bad when she said that but I also didnt agree with it. I feel like maybe I should bring it up and ask her why she always cancels on me. I understand that things come up but every time just seems a bit strange/rude.

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Posted by gina409

im so sorry u r going through this
do u think in any way she could be jealous of the weddiing?maybe thats it,maybe its not....maybe she is just tired of all the wedding talk..i say that cause i get it from my 3 sisters all the time ..all i know is if u talkevery day its clear she loves u and im sure she will come around..but if u feel this way u should talk 2 her,better than keeping it inside..hth feel better

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hmm ... I was going to say this... I have a girl like this in mine, she is jealous I think of the attention I am getting and tries at every turn to piss me off or ruin the fun of it somehow.. I totally just brush it off now and dont give her the satisfication of being mad anymore

iyea i totally get it frommy fam too..they r sick of hearing bout my wedding and i still have 8 months to go ..i think talking to her might help the situation..she might just want to vent how she is feeling the way u want to vent to her

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Posted by littlepixie12

hmm ... I was going to say this... I have a girl like this in mine, she is jealous I think of the attention I am getting and tries at every turn to piss me off or ruin the fun of it somehow.. I totally just brush it off now and dont give her the satisfication of being mad anymore

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Yea I do think you girls are right on with the jealous thing. Ever since she brought up that we were getting more 'attention' than them I have been thinking about that. Personally I never really care who gets more attention from my parents lol...but she still lives home and is pretty sensitive so I think this makes sense. Maybe that's why she keeps cancelling because she just doesnt want to talk about wedding stuff anymore. I really appreciate everyone's comments.