nwr: need your thoughts

beram63 Posted: Oct 04, 2008 09:51 AM

nwr: need your thoughts

my friend from work whom i carpool with just lost her mother yesterday. the wake is today in rockville center, and i feel like i should go. however, my car is at the mechanic today, and FH is using his car to go record with his drummer. I thought of sending flowers instead, especially bc FH feels uncomfortable meeting her for the first time @ her mother's funeral, so i would have to make the trip out from oakdale and be @ the funeral alone. btw, after my dad dying when i was a kid, i have here and there had panic attacks at funerals for people i wasn't even really close to.

what would you do?

Jennmolloy Posted: Oct 04, 2008 10:04 AM

Re: nwr: need your thoughts

i can sympathize!! i have the same reactions at funerals for the same reason.

This is a tough call. But IMO you should send flowers. You should also send her a personal note (separatly) and send your regards. I am sure she would understand. Just let her know that you are thinking of her and if there is anything else that you can help her out with you would be glad to.

digio809 Posted: Oct 04, 2008 10:18 AM

Re: nwr: need your thoughts

I agree- just send something and let her know you're there if she needs anything!

Soon2BMrsC09 Posted: Oct 04, 2008 10:28 AM

Re: nwr: need your thoughts

I would send flowers or I know for a friends father who past a year ago me and a few girls that were friendly with her, since they will get TONS of flowers, we got them bagels, muffins, rolls, breakfast foods all delivered to the house one morning, since family and everyone was there, it eases the worry of having to cook and run to the store and feed people that come to the house to console the people who have lost a loved one. I believe we had it delievered to New Hyde Park.. Bagel Boss was who we used...

Im a Pepper Posted: Oct 04, 2008 10:37 AM

Re: nwr: need your thoughts

Aww, I'm so sorry for the loss of her mother!

I would go to the funeral, but that's just me.

dazey Posted: Oct 04, 2008 12:41 PM

Re: nwr: need your thoughts

send flowers. she will understand, not only about your car but about how hard it is for you to attend funerals. as long as she knows you are thinking of her, i don't think it will even cross her mind that you should be there, i'm sure she has so many other things on her mind. just apologize later on about your car, she won't be offended.