NWR: New home vent
So I'm going to vent here. Any advise would be appreciated, but please don't feel obligated. Two years ago I bought my own home because I needed out of my parents house. I got my co-op at a great price, put a decent amount of money into updating it. I did everything but the bathroom. Brand new everything in my small kitchen, gorgeous granite, etc. FI still lives at home with his dad, brother, uncle, grandmother, sister and brother-in-law. We're about 10-15 minutes away from each other. I'm used to it, but having my own place makes it kinda uncomfortable for me to stay overnight at his place, with so many people in the house. Especially since his BIL was NEVER allowed to spend the night before he married FI sister. THey built a basement apartment so now he lives there. Anyway, FI and I have been discussing where'd we'd live post wedding. Here's the thing: My parents gave me a substantial gift when I purchased my place, plus helped me out (which I've paid back completely) and if I sell before next June I lose my $8000 First Time Homebuyers money. I will literally have to write a check to the government. The market really isn't that great right now for sellers and I feel like I'll essentially be losing money. FI thinks that it's not a loss, that because I got a good deal on it and made a bunch of updates, I will make at least a couple thousand dollars. I also don't think he's considering my parents $$ gift. I always thought that I'd have this place for a while and be able to turn a profit, enough to contribute a decent amount to a down payment on a house.
FI is a volunteer firefighter in his town and I would never insist he move away since he;s got to be close enough to make calls. One option he's thought of is subletting my place for a bit and renting in his town but I hate the idea of renting a place, throwing money away and not being able to make it our own. If I sell too soon, I owe the government. If I wait til June to sell but start looking for a house now to get the process started, we're left without a down payment and paying 2 mortgages until I can sublet my place. If I sell right after June (if I'm even able to find a buyer that is) and I only make a couple thousand dollars, I'm still left with little profit and little down payment.
I'm so aggrivated. I'm starting to hate my decision two years ago to buy, even though it has given FI and I a place to be alone and play house albeit limited, me a place to call my own, made me and my sister and parents closer (even though I don't live with them anymore, we don't fight as much and there's is tons less tension). I'm not saying that I will not compromise (I am the one moving out of my town, I would never expect FI to leave his FD), but is it fair to expect me to lose money? While FI helped pick out some furniture (he bought me my dining room set which will move to the new house eventually) and move in and set up, he is in no way financially involved in my purchase. I know there is still some time, but this is one things weighing on him. He wants to know where we are going to live and whenever we discuss it, it creates tension. For the past 3 years of our 5 years together, I tried to talk about moving in, buying or renting together. He wouldn't discuss it, he just wasn't ready. Now he's ready for the whole shebang, we even talk about kids, but this house stuff is super stressful and I'm worried that it will hinder our plans. There are too many what ifs. To anyone reading, thank you for your time. Again, please do not feel obligated to respond with advice, but any words of encouragement or advice would be greatly appreciated.
FI is a volunteer firefighter in his town and I would never insist he move away since he;s got to be close enough to make calls. One option he's thought of is subletting my place for a bit and renting in his town but I hate the idea of renting a place, throwing money away and not being able to make it our own. If I sell too soon, I owe the government. If I wait til June to sell but start looking for a house now to get the process started, we're left without a down payment and paying 2 mortgages until I can sublet my place. If I sell right after June (if I'm even able to find a buyer that is) and I only make a couple thousand dollars, I'm still left with little profit and little down payment.
I'm so aggrivated. I'm starting to hate my decision two years ago to buy, even though it has given FI and I a place to be alone and play house albeit limited, me a place to call my own, made me and my sister and parents closer (even though I don't live with them anymore, we don't fight as much and there's is tons less tension). I'm not saying that I will not compromise (I am the one moving out of my town, I would never expect FI to leave his FD), but is it fair to expect me to lose money? While FI helped pick out some furniture (he bought me my dining room set which will move to the new house eventually) and move in and set up, he is in no way financially involved in my purchase. I know there is still some time, but this is one things weighing on him. He wants to know where we are going to live and whenever we discuss it, it creates tension. For the past 3 years of our 5 years together, I tried to talk about moving in, buying or renting together. He wouldn't discuss it, he just wasn't ready. Now he's ready for the whole shebang, we even talk about kids, but this house stuff is super stressful and I'm worried that it will hinder our plans. There are too many what ifs. To anyone reading, thank you for your time. Again, please do not feel obligated to respond with advice, but any words of encouragement or advice would be greatly appreciated.
