NWR: Please help! Opinions on the holidays...
It's a long one, I'm sorry but I need some guidance...
Ok, so my FH and I, who have been dating for 4 years, have the holidays all planned out because both of our families celebrate Christmas Eve big. So we decided that we alternate with whoevers family we are with for CE, we do the opposite family that year for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Easy enough...
So this year, I am with the inlaws for Thanksgiving and Christmas and we're w/ my fam for Christmas Eve. My FIL is going to be on a cruise w/ his lady friend for Thanksgiving, my FMIL passed away over ten years ago, so I offered to do Thanksgiving at our apartment for his 2 sisters and brother, niece and nephew and then I also invited my parents and brother. One of FH's cousin's invited us for Thanksgiving but it becomes absolute madness, their kids are not very well behaved and FH always leaves w/ a sore back because their son likes to give kidney punches to him at random and the parents never say anything, so I opted out and said we were having a small one here w/ my folks.
So I called my mom and invited her and she said that my cousin had already invited them and she had already responded yes. My response was, ok but it's 3 wks before so I really don't think it's going to screw up their menu planning, it's not like it's the week before. I totally get that she said yes to my cousin but, this is my first Thanksgiving that I am really hosting by myself and I guess I just assumed that my parents would be all for coming here. She started saying that I'm putting her on a guilt trip, which ok maybe I am, but again is it really that terrible that I would like to have my parents with me for my first Thanksgiving? Then my dad gets on the phone to say thank you for the invite but they're going to have to decline because as much as FH would like to spend a holiday with his brothers and sisters, so would my dad. I really am so hurt by all of this. I even gave the option then for them to at least come here for dessert and then it turned into, 'we're not traveling all over the island.' Meanwhile, when I was a kid we used to go to THE EFFING BRONX to my uncle's and then go to ALBERTSON for dessert to my aunt's.
I don't know, am I being selfish? I'm just trying to look at it from their perspective and I can't imagine telling my daughter, no sorry we can't make it to your house for Thanksgiving because our niece invited us before you.
Ok, so my FH and I, who have been dating for 4 years, have the holidays all planned out because both of our families celebrate Christmas Eve big. So we decided that we alternate with whoevers family we are with for CE, we do the opposite family that year for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Easy enough...
So this year, I am with the inlaws for Thanksgiving and Christmas and we're w/ my fam for Christmas Eve. My FIL is going to be on a cruise w/ his lady friend for Thanksgiving, my FMIL passed away over ten years ago, so I offered to do Thanksgiving at our apartment for his 2 sisters and brother, niece and nephew and then I also invited my parents and brother. One of FH's cousin's invited us for Thanksgiving but it becomes absolute madness, their kids are not very well behaved and FH always leaves w/ a sore back because their son likes to give kidney punches to him at random and the parents never say anything, so I opted out and said we were having a small one here w/ my folks.
So I called my mom and invited her and she said that my cousin had already invited them and she had already responded yes. My response was, ok but it's 3 wks before so I really don't think it's going to screw up their menu planning, it's not like it's the week before. I totally get that she said yes to my cousin but, this is my first Thanksgiving that I am really hosting by myself and I guess I just assumed that my parents would be all for coming here. She started saying that I'm putting her on a guilt trip, which ok maybe I am, but again is it really that terrible that I would like to have my parents with me for my first Thanksgiving? Then my dad gets on the phone to say thank you for the invite but they're going to have to decline because as much as FH would like to spend a holiday with his brothers and sisters, so would my dad. I really am so hurt by all of this. I even gave the option then for them to at least come here for dessert and then it turned into, 'we're not traveling all over the island.' Meanwhile, when I was a kid we used to go to THE EFFING BRONX to my uncle's and then go to ALBERTSON for dessert to my aunt's.
I don't know, am I being selfish? I'm just trying to look at it from their perspective and I can't imagine telling my daughter, no sorry we can't make it to your house for Thanksgiving because our niece invited us before you.
