nwr: sibling rant

Do any of you have teenage siblings? My sister is 16, and she drives me up the wall. I was NEVER this selfish, rude, and disrespectful at 16. I had my issues, and I got moody, but I was actually pretty decent as a teenager. Even my parents say so. And I could ignore her while I was in college, but now that I've moved back home it just drives me nuts

My sister is just awful. She is so rude to my parents. Tonight after dinner my parents asked her to stay and help do the dishes - a totally reasonable request. It would have taken about 5 minutes to just put the dishes in the dishwasher. Instead she starts yelling and cursing at my parents about, of all things, how she has to go do her homework and if they make her do the dishes she's going to fail out of school. Let's just establish that while it is great that she is motivated to do her school work, her attitude about it is entirely unreasonable. First off, 5 minutes to do dishes is not in any way going to affect her grades. Second, she needs to learn that she has responsibilities other than her school work - like helping around the house, and her family. Finally my dad gets her to do the dishes, and she washes maybe half the sink and then decides she's done and storms away, cursing at my dad as he tries to stop her.

This is her attitude about everything - basically '**** off, I'm doing my homework and I'm too busy for you.' I'm sorry, but doing your homework does not preempt your other responsibilities. My grandfather was diagnosed with Lou Gherig's disease this fall, and then left for Florida in November for the winter. In the few weeks he was here between diagnosis and Florida, the rest of us made a concious effort to spend time with him. We would get together with the whole family for dinner every Sunday. The rest of us would try to spend some time sitting and talking before and after actually eating. My sister would storm downstairs just long enough to shove some food in her mouth, and then thump back upstairs as soon as she was done, hardly even saying a word to anybody.

I'm so sick of her selfish attitude, and I'm sick of her walking around like she has no responsibility for anything or anyone else. She even refuses to answer the phone in the house because she doesn't want to be bothered. My parents keep saying I should give her a chance and she's a good kid, but then she sneaks around behind their backs and curses at them and acts like an imbecile. I know she really does have a good heart deep inside, and I do love her, but I'm just not so sure I like the person I see her becoming.

Ug. And don't even get me STARTED on her 20 year old boyfriend. It's not the age I hold against him so much as the fact that he's just like her - too stuck in his own head to notice that the rest of the world matters too.

phew. end rant. I needed that!

I'm sorry to hear that, I really can't relate, My sister can be difficult she is 15, but for the most part I think she is grown up alot in the last year. Maybe it is just taking your sister a little longer to grow up, has she always been this way. Is there anyway for you to talk to her like one to one, and tell her exactly what is wrong with her attitude without yelling (if possible)

I'm sorry to hear that, I can relate to you. My sister is 21 and has been like that since she was 16 or so.

i can definatly relate..i have a 14 year old sister..

the things she gets away with..OMG..

she doesn't have b/f issues yet but o boy i can't wait.. GOD BLESS that poor poor boy comming into my house

im sure its just a phase shes going through - that she will grow out of soon ... but i know how frustrating it can be for you to deal with it right now

I am so sorry

i have a younger brother and 2 older sisters, we have had our ups and downs, try not to let her get to you, shes at 'that' age

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Posted by JazzyT

Give her time she's 16, its a phase she's from a good home she will outgrow it. Remember when you were sixteen.

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I was NEVER like this when I was sixteen. I don't think I have ever once raised my voice to my parents, never mind cursed at them for asking me to help out. Certainly we argued, but never like this. Also, I don't care how old you are, it is not normal teenage behavior to refuse to spend time with your dying grandfather.

I really don't think that it's a phase. She's always been spoiled and gotten away with hell, and my parents just don't do anything about it. I've always worried that she would be headed in this direction, and unfortunatley it seems that I was right.

That sux, I am sorry
I see the same stuff going on in my house
I am the oldest of 4, my sis is 22, my 1 bro 19, and the other 13
I moved out of my parents house when I was 19 and I still came home to drive my younger siblings places but if you ask either of my bro or sis to do anything it is like pulling teeth, it's ridiculus what goes on in the house
They all get away with murder compared to what I did, believe me there is a lot of other stuff going on that I don't wanna say because its bad
I don't understand I always knew that they were gonna have it easier than I did because I was the first but come on
I completely understand what you are going through and how frustrating it can be, I just hope maybe your sis grows up and realizes what she is doing

i got a 17 year old sister- i feel your pain!!

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Posted by weddingbunny

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Posted by JazzyT

Give her time she's 16, its a phase she's from a good home she will outgrow it. Remember when you were sixteen.

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I was NEVER like this when I was sixteen. I don't think I have ever once raised my voice to my parents, never mind cursed at them for asking me to help out. Certainly we argued, but never like this. Also, I don't care how old you are, it is not normal teenage behavior to refuse to spend time with your dying grandfather.

I really don't think that it's a phase. She's always been spoiled and gotten away with hell, and my parents just don't do anything about it. I've always worried that she would be headed in this direction, and unfortunatley it seems that I was right.

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Your speaking like a true older sister, if you ask my sister she will say the same thing you just said like basically i get away with murder, but i am not disrespectful to my parents though but i does get easier for us younger siblings. But me and my sister get along but not like we should because she feels this way about the situation..so its sometimes good to stand back you're not her mom but her sister and may resent you for giving her a hard time ( as she sees it) i know that how i saw it. Give her time.

I am the little sister, but my brother was piece of work, so I was a complete angel in comparison.

My friend has a younger sister who is 27 that acts the way your sister does. Some people never grow up.

aww---sorry to hear about that Sara. teenagers are getting so bad these days...sounds like your sis has the drama queen/diva attitude...like nothing is important unless it happens to HER!

best thing you can do is hope she grows out of this phase...but remember it will get worse before it gets better. she will probably rebel and get more attitude as she nears 18. so just try and be a big sister to her as best as you can tolerate it!

an attempt at a heart to heart with her might help. maybe have a day with just you two doing mani's and pedi's and some lunch together and see if she might listen to reason...as long as it doesn't sound like a lecture.

of course you're the only one who knows if that would work or not...but either way,

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Posted by JazzyT

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Posted by weddingbunny

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Posted by JazzyT

Give her time she's 16, its a phase she's from a good home she will outgrow it. Remember when you were sixteen.

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I was NEVER like this when I was sixteen. I don't think I have ever once raised my voice to my parents, never mind cursed at them for asking me to help out. Certainly we argued, but never like this. Also, I don't care how old you are, it is not normal teenage behavior to refuse to spend time with your dying grandfather.

I really don't think that it's a phase. She's always been spoiled and gotten away with hell, and my parents just don't do anything about it. I've always worried that she would be headed in this direction, and unfortunatley it seems that I was right.

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Your speaking like a true older sister, if you ask my sister she will say the same thing you just said like basically i get away with murder, but i am not disrespectful to my parents though but i does get easier for us younger siblings. But me and my sister get along but not like we should because she feels this way about the situation..so its sometimes good to stand back you're not her mom but her sister and may resent you for giving her a hard time ( as she sees it) i know that how i saw it. Give her time.

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I don't think you're understanding me. This isn't an 'older sister' thing. I am not the only person who finds her behavior completely horrifying. Even my parents are fed up and at their wits ends with her, in a way they openly admit they never were with my brother and I. My friends even comment on her behavior. It's completely appalling, past the usual teenage angst.

And I really haven't said a word to her about it. I make a conscious effort not to give her a hard time about things. You're right, I'm not her mother. I'm her sister. I don't try to discipline her, although there are times when I wish I could. The truth is that no matter how much I love my sister and always will because she is my sister, I really do not like the person she's becoming - if I were 16 and met her in school, I really don't think I would want to be friends with her, and that bothers me a lot. I had always hoped when she grew up we could be friends, and I hope she does grow out of this, but I really don't know if she will.

I really don't want to argue about this with you. I know you mean well, and I appreciate your words of advice, but clearly since you don't know her, it's hard for you to judge exactly what's going on.

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Posted by weddingbunny

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Posted by JazzyT

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Posted by weddingbunny

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Posted by JazzyT

Give her time she's 16, its a phase she's from a good home she will outgrow it. Remember when you were sixteen.

---

I was NEVER like this when I was sixteen. I don't think I have ever once raised my voice to my parents, never mind cursed at them for asking me to help out. Certainly we argued, but never like this. Also, I don't care how old you are, it is not normal teenage behavior to refuse to spend time with your dying grandfather.

I really don't think that it's a phase. She's always been spoiled and gotten away with hell, and my parents just don't do anything about it. I've always worried that she would be headed in this direction, and unfortunatley it seems that I was right.

---

Your speaking like a true older sister, if you ask my sister she will say the same thing you just said like basically i get away with murder, but i am not disrespectful to my parents though but i does get easier for us younger siblings. But me and my sister get along but not like we should because she feels this way about the situation..so its sometimes good to stand back you're not her mom but her sister and may resent you for giving her a hard time ( as she sees it) i know that how i saw it. Give her time.

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I don't think you're understanding me. This isn't an 'older sister' thing. I am not the only person who finds her behavior completely horrifying. Even my parents are fed up and at their wits ends with her, in a way they openly admit they never were with my brother and I. My friends even comment on her behavior. It's completely appalling, past the usual teenage angst.

And I really haven't said a word to her about it. I make a conscious effort not to give her a hard time about things. You're right, I'm not her mother. I'm her sister. I don't try to discipline her, although there are times when I wish I could. The truth is that no matter how much I love my sister and always will because she is my sister, I really do not like the person she's becoming - if I were 16 and met her in school, I really don't think I would want to be friends with her, and that bothers me a lot. I had always hoped when she grew up we could be friends, and I hope she does grow out of this, but I really don't know if she will.

I really don't want to argue about this with you. I know you mean well, and I appreciate your words of advice, but clearly since you don't know her, it's hard for you to judge exactly what's going on.

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No intention of arguing I was just posting in response to maybe ease the situation, I was there once and and my basic gist was that i grew out of it and hopefully she will do the same I wish you all the best. Thats all I was trying to say.