NWR (somewhat): Do you feel like you keep changing careers?

I'm going absolutely nuts right now. I was on vacation last week in Mexico and really got to some thinking while I was there and once I got back. Let me give you pretty much some brief history- I went to law school and hated it. I enjoyed the law itself, but didn't like how the system was set up. I couldn't picture myself being an attorney and being happy.

I then started working at hospital, which I enjoy- but now I'm getting frustrated because it's not what I wanna do for my whole life. I applied to a pharmacy program and last week I was seriously reconsidering this.

As an undergrad, I was a Forensic Psy. major and I absolutely loved, loved, loved it. I enjoyed the research and theories we learned. I enjoyed Child Development, etc and basically enjoyed developing new ideas and testing them. I was really good at this. I had professors complement me on how well I analzyed and developed theories. I actually had a professor call my house regarding my psych-analysis paper and tell me it's the best paper he has ever read in all his years of teaching. He told me that it didn't look like undergrad. work, but ph.d work. I will never forget that for as long as I should live.

I feel so bummed out now because I wanna figure this out before I get married. I hate trying to make everyone happy. It sounds weird, but my dream job would probably be teaching children in which I can implement methods of learning. The thing I find sooo appealing about teaching is that I can go ahead and pursure other degrees as well. I have a friend who's starting an MSW program and he told me that he the degree would enable him to conusel a variety of people and actively help. You see I want to teach, counsel, research and develop new theories. Now that would ultimately be my dream. You know what- before I was concerned w/ salary and the profession. (Living in NY isn't cheap for sure). Now I just don't care.
To be honest w/ you- I am scared to tell my parents....I just am. I don't wanna deal w/ there remarks.

My FI knows...but all he says is do what makes you happy....but I can't help in feeling so disappointed in myself.
I needed to vent.
Can anyone offer me any advice? I would greatly appreciate it.

Did you have everything figured out before you got married? My parents are so old school (well my father mostly) and think that you should already be where you wanna be once you get married....arggggg....it makes me so mad.

how old are you?

It took me a long time to figure out what I wanted 'to be'

In HS, I thought for sure I'd be a doctor. I want to college and after the 1st semester, I knew it wasn't for me.

I graduated with a BA in psych, with poli sci minor. I wanted to be a shrink at that point, but at the end of college, decided that maybe I wanted to be a lawer (hence the poli sci minor)

SO, I didn't apply to the psych program because I was told that I wouldn't get in (only got C's in college chem, bio, calc, stats)

So, then I started working retail. HATED IT. ABSOLUTELY could NOT STAND IT.

I called up my alumi career center and literally said, 'I NEED to go to grad school. I hate my job. The only way out of this is grad school. It's too late to apply to law school, but what grad programs could I get into, having poor grades in math and science?'

She recommended the HR Management program.

Done! While I was going through that, I realized, 'I don't like HR. This is boring'. But, I finished with a 3.9 GPA and decided that I'd apply to law school. I only got in to mediocre schools, so I didn't go. (that was last year)

Since then, I've been working and I think what I'd REALLY like to do is own my own business.

to make a long story short, I think you need to just keep trying different things until something 'fits'

eta: not to misrepresent HR, I don't want anyone to think you don't have to do math, you DO A LOT OF MATH in HR. But, by not having to worry about science, I was able to devote more time to the math/stats part of HR and get great grades in it.

And, all while this was happening, my parents kept freaking out about what I ever end up doing with my life

Someone told me that it's not only the destination, but the journey that counts.

I started college as an Accounting Major - then switched to Pre-Dental then to Physical Therapy - and then finally to English.

Well... long story short... EVENTUALLY everything fell into place. Sure I went to tons of school (I ended up getting two Master's Degrees and one Doctorate) but I am where I belong.

Don't let people tell you what to do wth your career. When I quit after I got tenure (at a very good school district) everyone thought I was crazy!

These days I could not be happier. I am a professor at one of our local colleges. Is this where I thought I would end up? Of course not. Am I glad that I didn't listen to those who 'thought they knew what was best for me?' YES....

Follow your heart... find something that will truly make you happy. You have my utmost respect for not settling for something you don't want to do. Too many people in this world wake up and go to jobs that they hate. I am glad I am not one of them and I hope you find what makes you happy as well.

I know exactly how you feel, I'm a 28 year old mom that has no idea wth she wants to do with her life. All I know is that I need to go back to school, get my grades up to transfer again to fit and get my ba in fashion merchandising. i know I love shopping and my ultimate goal would be to be a buyer for the bridal industry since 'I love weddings.
it's never to late to find what really drives you in life, I know it has taken me a long time to realize it.
go with your heart.

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Posted by suven

how old are you?

It took me a long time to figure out what I wanted 'to be'

In HS, I thought for sure I'd be a doctor. I want to college and after the 1st semester, I knew it wasn't for me.

I graduated with a BA in psych, with poli sci minor. I wanted to be a shrink at that point, but at the end of college, decided that maybe I wanted to be a lawer (hence the poli sci minor)

SO, I didn't apply to the psych program because I was told that I wouldn't get in (only got C's in college chem, bio, calc, stats)

So, then I started working retail. HATED IT. ABSOLUTELY could NOT STAND IT.

I called up my alumi career center and literally said, 'I NEED to go to grad school. I hate my job. The only way out of this is grad school. It's too late to apply to law school, but what grad programs could I get into, having poor grades in math and science?'

She recommended the HR Management program.

Done! While I was going through that, I realized, 'I don't like HR. This is boring'. But, I finished with a 3.9 GPA and decided that I'd apply to law school. I only got in to mediocre schools, so I didn't go. (that was last year)

Since then, I've been working and I think what I'd REALLY like to do is own my own business.

to make a long story short, I think you need to just keep trying different things until something 'fits'

eta: not to misrepresent HR, I don't want anyone to think you don't have to do math, you DO A LOT OF MATH in HR. But, by not having to worry about science, I was able to devote more time to the math/stats part of HR and get great grades in it.

And, all while this was happening, my parents kept freaking out about what I ever end up doing with my life

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I'm only 24 years old...but I feel like I'm 50. I think that my problem was that I had everything set up in a time line and now that time line is just gone. Thanks for making me feel better Sue.

Rina, How about applying for an adjunct prof position at John Jay? I believe that school focuses on criminal law and forensic psych. Which, if you have the law degree, and the forensic psych background with the desire to teach, might be the perfect way for you to combine your schooling and desires to determine if teaching is for you.

I completely identify with your need to please your parents, but at some point it might be good to please yourself too. I can say this from personal experience...
I knew from as far back as I can remember that my parents wanted me to be a doctor (they even sent me to science camp). Well I loathed organic chemistry and could not hack it. I had also taken a class on law for doctors and realized that I loved law. So I ended up switching majors from bio to politics and graduated with a BA in politics. I spent 3 years working on international law cases in Washington DC (uranium matters) and then applied to law school. I just graduated and I am taking the bar exam in a few days. I am working in international law (my dream job) and found a way to combine everything I like to do. I am sure that you will be able to do so as well. Good luck

Oh, you sound like me. Went to college and majored in psychology because my guidance counselor suggested it would be a good fit. Got my masters degree in school psychology because it was the shortest program and it would give me a chance to have a masters. Left there, worked as a family therapist at a wilderness program. left there, worked as a crisis counselor at a psychiatric hospital. Left there and have been doing marketing ever since. Besides the diploma, nothing in my life has anything to do with school psychology. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you are not alone. My mom found her calling when she was in her 40's, me? I have yet to find mine. The answers don't all have to come before you get married, they really don't. Life is all about evolving and as you do, so do your dreams. I think its healthy, natural, and a part of growing up since we are constantly changing who we are, it only makes sense to change what we hope to become. Sometimes life has a way of handing things to you when you least expect it and a lot of times if your eyes are open, you'll embrace it and realize...whoa! This is really what I want and who I am. I absolutely LOVE the saying: If you want to make God laugh, make a plan. The truth is, it sounds like you already know what you enjoy doing, what you could see yourself doing day after day, and what you excel at. All you need now are the baby steps to get there. But first and foremost, give yourself a break. You are getting married- a major stressor in itself. Maybe use the time to develop you and your FH as a future married couple and the rest will come to you. I wish you luck finding it all out, I guess I wish us all luck Just have faith that you are a strong woman who sounds determined to care for others in some capacity. You can't go wrong with that

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Posted by lrs2005

Rina, How about applying for an adjunct prof position at John Jay? I believe that school focuses on criminal law and forensic psych. Which, if you have the law degree, and the forensic psych background with the desire to teach, might be the perfect way for you to combine your schooling and desires to determine if teaching is for you.

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Adjunct teaching is a great idea, but if I remember correctly you only finished 1 year of law school? I've also heard the first year is the worst, so maybe you will like it better if you return. There are tons of options of what you can do with it--work teaching, for a non-for-profit, etc. I answered on NWR and I do think you should find your passion, but deciding to get a master's and then a PhD in psych will really effect your first years of marriage. You're talking about 5-6 more years of very intensive school, no income coming in for the most part, and a great deal of $ spent on more school. I am working on my doctorate now, but while working full time because we need my income to pay the mortgage. My brother hated law school while in it, but does now enjoy his job and is very good at it, and is now close to getting a job clerking for the supreme court.

ETA: I work as a college where psych is by far the most popular major, and I've found that most students love psych classes. They are very interesting--it's kind of like everyone saying they want to be a wedding planner after planning their own wedding. The hard thing is you really need that PhD if you want to work with psych.

Also, I reread some of your previous posts and it sounds like you only spent one semester in law school? I think a lot of people hate it the first semester (I know my brother wanted to quit the entire first year). I think it gets better as you go on--maybe you want to give it another chance...

I understand how you feel. I have been struggling with this myself. I recently went to a career counselor who suggested that I speak with people in the fields that I am interested in to see what the job is really like. You may find this helpful. Some people may even let you come in and observe what they do for a few hours. Choosing what to do for the rest of your life is difficult. I say take your time with your decision. Don't worry about timelines. Good luck!

Im sorry that you feel like that.
I majored in Psych wanting to work with children...but stopped b/c i wasnt happy. Now, the only thing I know is that I want to work with children...
You do not NEED to know what you want to do for the rest of your life before you are married. You have to be happy before anything else. Trust me when i say that if you arent happy doing what you do it tends to make other things in your life sour.
Do what you are happy doing, change jobs 100x if thats what it takes to figure out what you want to do...just make sure that YOU are HAPPY!!!!
HTH