NWR: Vent

I dunno why I'm venting this on here, I guess cause it's nice to have the input of an uninterested third party. My grandfather lives with us, used to be grandma and grandpa until she passed in 2000, over the last almost 9 years, he's gotten progressively worse, just hearing, walking etc., now with his macular degeneration, and the fact that his mind gets a little worse every day, it's taken its toll on all of us, problem being when my parents want to go somewhere, do something, i pick up the slack and take care of grandpa, now with my niece's christening on Sunday....I'm the Godmother, my parents were supposed to go away over night, saturday and some home sunday....okay great, no problem right, I take care of grandpa Saturday, make his breakfast and lunch for sunday and mom and dad give him dinner that night...apparently that's not good enough, because he HAS to eat at EXACTLY 5 and now they aren't going because I won't be around....in 88 days I won't be living here anymore and they have to get used to doing this kind of thing without me, I feel so bad because I feel like now I'm impeding them, but on the same token, why is it a big deal to leave saturday morning, go to the city, stay over and be home for 5 on sunday evening....it always turns into my problem and it's getting to me, I love my parents we have a very special relationship and I don't want drama like this to hinder that but i don't know what to do, I'm at my wits end and I feel like if its so bad that he can't do ANYTHING for himself (besides bathe, get dressed and give himeself insulin) then maybe here isn't the best place, and I feel like I sound like a completely horrid and selfish person, but I'm not quite sure what to do because when I broached the subject before I was told no one wanted to talk about it...so it seems like their mind is made up and they put me in a horrible position.

Thanks for reading ladies, I appreciate it

WOW! That seems like a lot to swallow. I'm so sorry.... that's really a lot to be going through.
You guys are doing the best you can. You are probably right though... he might need more than you will all be able to give him soon. Like a home aid or something.
There really isn't much you can do now. And this is going to sound even worse... but at least you have a mini way out. You know? It's not like you are going to be stuck there forever. see now I am a horrible person! You aren't bad you are human... and it's frusterating and a lot to have to take care of someone like that. Believe me... FH had a bad accident and it can be hard to deal with at times.
Like I said though... seems like you might have too just roll with it for a little while. Your parents must realize you are leaving soon... and if they think it will all be ok... then let it be. Sometimes people need to see things for themselves... and in due time I'm sure they will. I'm so sorry you are going through all this.
You go out of your way to selflessly take care of him... so please don't go around thinking you are a horrible person. You are reacting how any other human would react.

trust me i know how u feel...ive been taking care of my mom since she had the stroke and i left my job to do so which leaves me broke and i have to rotate my life around her...somedays i just want to pull my hair out but bottom line she smy mom and she would do it for me and sometimes life just dont pan out the way we want it to...im leaving home this summer and my mom will have to get use to me not being with her all day but life sometimes has to go on...i hope u feel better and u can fm me anytime u want to talk

Sounds like a very tough situation. like you said, you won't be living there in the near future and if your grandfather is going to continue living with your parents then they are going to have to alter some aspects of their lifestyle, so why not start now. It's not as if you are trying to be difficult, you have a christening to go to which you play a very important role in, they must be able to understand that... Is there any way that if you prepared dinner for your grandfather that he would be able to just heat it in the microwave and eat? Don't know how well he gets around but even if he could just make a sandwich or something that day? Like you said, they are going to have to make some changes once you move out. I'm so sorry! I know it's hard, especially when you love all the parties involved and don't want to rock the boat.