where to start.... Fh bro lives a on the other side of country with wife and kids. Him and FH done't really see eye to eye and got into huge fight a few months ago, but FH put his differences aside at that time when he came to visit with niece. He is incredibly selfish and nasty to FH, FH other bro and parents and was incredibly rude to me and my family during that visit. FH was not really sure about asking him to be GM but in the end thought it was the right thing to do and so asked when he came to visit this wknd. We also asked the kids to be part of the wedding b/c my sisters 3 are and we thought it would be nice to include all 5 nieces and nephews. So we asked them also (not that the kids even cared, they barely acknowledge FH and I).
Well, he was very rude all week and there was a HUGE war at FIL's house last night after FH bday celebration. FH is seriously considering kicking him out of BP. Also, FH goes to TX for christmas every year (we have never been together christmas week). This year is the last year he is going and its just so he can see the kids really. After how everyone was treated I wish I could tell him not to go (since it woult be nice to spend christmas together, esp our first engaged one). On top of that, now i am petrified he is gonna cause a seen at the wedding, cause he just would do that.
anyone have any words of advice and anything to make me feel less upset?
JAAMS
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Re: oh the drama... long story, need to vent
Hmmm I'm not sure-- is there a root to the problem? What is at the center of all of this? That's probably where it needs to start being mended.
halfbaked
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Re: oh the drama... long story, need to vent
I wish I had some good advice for you. But you do get a Sorry hun!!
DaniandKen2010
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Re: oh the drama... long story, need to vent
mag2010
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Re: oh the drama... long story, need to vent
My advice is to leave the situation alone. Let the dust settle and FH and his family work it out. In the end they are brothers and for what ever the reason is they have their issues that probably happened many years ago. Your FH is hurt and angry right now and will probably calm down in a few days. Siblings fight and they make up all the time. You also never want to say anything bad about the other persons sibling in the end it is their blood and may not take offense now but might later. Just be there to listen and be supportive of your FH in any decision he makes with his brother.
FutureCap
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Re: oh the drama... long story, need to vent
Posted by JAAMS
Hmmm I'm not sure-- is there a root to the problem? What is at the center of all of this? That's probably where it needs to start being mended.
his bro just seems to think that because he moved away everyone needs to stop everything for him. he is just so selfish... and honestly everyone does stop everything when he visits (which is not often). he left and had a family in tx and thinks that everyone needs to cater to him. He would not even look at me to say goodbye last night and i didn't even get involved in anything except to take grab his daughter and take her out of the house so she did not have to see all screaming. No one understands why he is so cold to everyone and just so nasty.
FutureCap
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Re: oh the drama... long story, need to vent
Posted by mag2010
My advice is to leave the situation alone. Let the dust settle and FH and his family work it out. In the end they are brothers and for what ever the reason is they have their issues that probably happened many years ago. Your FH is hurt and angry right now and will probably calm down in a few days. Siblings fight and they make up all the time. You also never want to say anything bad about the other persons sibling in the end it is their blood and may not take offense now but might later. Just be there to listen and be supportive of your FH in any decision he makes with his brother.
The funny thing is before i really spent anytime with him ( i have only met him 3 times on his 3 visits here since FH have been dating). but before that i used to tell FH we should visit and spend time with them and try to go there once a year, etc. and Fh always said no, i don't know what his bro is like and one day i will see why he would not spend the time or money to go visit. he only goes at christmas with the family cause of the kids. both FH and other brother have flat out said they jhave tolerated him all their life, but don't know how much more they can put up with now.
mag2010
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Re: oh the drama... long story, need to vent
Posted by FutureCap
his bro just seems to think that because he moved away everyone needs to stop everything for him. he is just so selfish... and honestly everyone does stop everything when he visits (which is not often). he left and had a family in tx and thinks that everyone needs to cater to him. He would not even look at me to say goodbye last night and i didn't even get involved in anything except to take grab his daughter and take her out of the house so she did not have to see all screaming. No one understands why he is so cold to everyone and just so nasty.
My older sister acts like that when she comes to town. The entire world has to stop. My opinion is they are angry with themselves for moving so far away and that they miss out on daily events. Again my belief - is the easiest way to get over that anger for them is to take it out on everyone else making it unpleasant visit, this way he goes home with the feeling that it is a waste to see his family. In my family we just let it go because my sis is only in town for a few days then all goes back to normal. I am so sorry you and FH are going throught this, the wedding is enough stress.
FutureCap
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Re: oh the drama... long story, need to vent
Posted by mag2010
Posted by FutureCap
his bro just seems to think that because he moved away everyone needs to stop everything for him. he is just so selfish... and honestly everyone does stop everything when he visits (which is not often). he left and had a family in tx and thinks that everyone needs to cater to him. He would not even look at me to say goodbye last night and i didn't even get involved in anything except to take grab his daughter and take her out of the house so she did not have to see all screaming. No one understands why he is so cold to everyone and just so nasty.
My older sister acts like that when she comes to town. The entire world has to stop. My opinion is they are angry with themselves for moving so far away and that they miss out on daily events. Again my belief - is the easiest way to get over that anger for them is to take it out on everyone else making it unpleasant visit, this way he goes home with the feeling that it is a waste to see his family. In my family we just let it go because my sis is only in town for a few days then all goes back to normal. I am so sorry you and FH are going throught this, the wedding is enough stress.
wow, that it such a good point and seems like you just hit the nail on the head. I knew someone hear would help put things into perspective. thank you for making not seem quite as bad
