sorry about that...the pc just went a little nutso...
so as most know...the relationship isnt what i want it to be...and i will just leave it at that...
FMIL NEVER asks a thing to me about the wedding plans...NEVER..but then tells FH how she just wants to be involve...I feel I cant involve her that much bec 1. i do not feel that close with her at all and 2. well bec we are not on the same page when it comes to taste and styke...
So last Sunday, FH tells me that his sister''s inlaws gave us a card box... why would someone give someone else a card box? a used one that does not have sentimental meaning....and if you listen to a thing your son says to you then you would know your future daughter in law has almost everything taken care of....
now....how do i get the fh to tell his mom to stop with this stuff (bec obvi whenever i talk to him about this it DOESNT work) and how do i talk to her about this stuff?? I want to get my point across but in a nice way...
Thanks ladies!!!!!
StaceyWill
Posted:
Member since
Re: Oh the in laws....
Wow... i would give her back the card box, thank her very much, but let her know that you have one already and that you have everything under control. Ask her in a nice way what she would like to help with, and if it's something you haven't done yet, let her put her two cents in. Then just do things your way...
Sometimes you really have to yes people to death because some people listen, but they don't hear (if that makes any sense)...HTH
Lsorrent
Posted:
Member since
Re: Oh the in laws....
Are you sure she wasn't just trying to make a nice gesture? So that maybe you could use her old one so you don't have to buy one? FMIL offered me her garter as my something borrowed, and I thought it was a very nice gesture.
angel1219eyez
Posted:
Member since
Re: Oh the in laws....
i think the best thing to do is give her that cardbox back...explain to her how you have one already but you do want her involved and maybe think of sumthing small for her to do...maybe sumthing that you dont think that you are gunna have time for...kill two birds with one stone...she will think you want her involved and she will get sumthing done the way you want it!
depoc1011
Posted:
Member since
Re: Oh the in laws....
Posted by Lsorrent
Are you sure she wasn't just trying to make a nice gesture? So that maybe you could use her old one so you don't have to buy one? FMIL offered me her garter as my something borrowed, and I thought it was a very nice gesture.
I really wish I could believe it was a nice gesture....I always give people the benefit of the doubt and I give people prob too many chances....If it was a sentimental thing, then yes maybe...but i remember telling her about the card box that had the pictures, or the ones from the modern bride, etc...
i just feel like why dont yoou just ask first...do you want it? do you need it? instead of just giving it to fh then me having to feel alll uncomfortable and saying no....
depoc1011
Posted:
Member since
Re: Oh the in laws....
thanks for the advice ladies....I will decline it politley and hopefully get my point accross....i feel if she really wanted to be 'involved' then she would ask me how the wedding planning was going when i saw her!....I think she just has to find something to b-i-t-c-h to fh about...
stinenandy2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: Oh the in laws....
I was in a similar situation....ultimately i had to get a little nasty with FMIL. At first I would just politely tell her you appreciate her suggestions and offerings but you have everything under control.
Iluvpoodles
Posted:
Member since
Re: Oh the in laws....
Just don't tell her any of your plans. I don't talk to FMIL on a personal basis unless she happens to say to FH oh put her on the phone I have to ask her something. Say in a nice way..I really appreciate you giving me the card box but I already ordered one online or take it and don't use it. No drama there...
AdriandSteve
Posted:
Member since
Re: Oh the in laws....
Tell her,
'Thank you for purchasing some stuff for us. I would really love it if we can go together sometime to look for things.'
1. You can get what u want and what you like 2. Even if she says no you've asked and were a 'nice' FDIL 3. It MIGHT help your relationship with her. Just gotta get over the awkwardness part i guess.
JAAMS
Posted:
Member since
Re: Oh the in laws....
Posted by AdriandSteve
Tell her,
'Thank you for purchasing some stuff for us. I would really love it if we can go together sometime to look for things.'
1. You can get what u want and what you like 2. Even if she says no you've asked and were a 'nice' FDIL 3. It MIGHT help your relationship with her. Just gotta get over the awkwardness part i guess.
ITA
And you can add that you've already gotten a cardbox or have your eye on one, and maybe she could help you out with something else (and make sure that something is a SMALL something-that way if she doesn't come through, it won't wreck the whole thing)
