ok, i'm not really sure where to put this, if this is the wrong board let me know

gem9898 Posted: Sep 03, 2004 07:47 PM

ok, i'm not really sure where to put this, if this is the wrong board let me know

ok, a little over two years ago i had an abortion. everything went fine and i had no complications. right now with my wedding next year and i want to start a family soon after, i am having horrible feelings that i wont be able to become pregnant or that i will have some complications during labor and i will die. this has been on my mind so much lately and i dont know what to do

i was in no way able to take care of a child, i was sooooooooo stupid and i hate myself for what i did. i was so scared, so please if you want to tell me how what i did was wrong, i deal with that everyday of my life, i am just looking for maybe a few hugs and advice if anyone has been through the same thing or someone they know has.

Pookiesangel Posted: Sep 03, 2004 07:49 PM

Re: ok, i'm not really sure where to put this, if this is the wrong board let me know

The only advice I can give is, there was a reason you didn't feel ready to be a parent, and you have to trust yourself to know you made the right choice for you at the time.
God has a plan for all of us, and when your ready I am sure he will bless you with beautiful happy children

kel2004 Posted: Sep 03, 2004 07:51 PM

Re: ok, i'm not really sure where to put this, if this is the wrong board let me know

Maybe you should get a check-up with your doctor and find out if there would be any complications if you were to get pregnant again.

LovelyL Posted: Sep 03, 2004 07:52 PM

Re: ok, i'm not really sure where to put this, if this is the wrong board let me know

I am so sorry You are feeling so guilty, but please don't. You did the only thing that seemed like a reasonable solution for you at the time.
I'm sure you will have no problems with becoming pregnant, but you can consult a doctor to give you a medical evaluation. But more importantly, I think you should talk to a mental health professional to help you deal with your feelings of guilt and fear. Please don't beat up on yourself!

DjPiLL Posted: Sep 03, 2004 07:53 PM

Re: ok, i'm not really sure where to put this, if this is the wrong board let me know

Check with your doctor... but I know a few girls that have had plenty of healthy babies a few years after an abortion.

Good luck!

gem9898 Posted: Sep 03, 2004 07:58 PM

Re: ok, i'm not really sure where to put this, if this is the wrong board let me know

thanks everyone

i have been feeling so guilty lately and so scared. i really need to go to a doctor, the only problem is i dont have any insurance. i am unemployed right now too.

ChristineC68 Posted: Sep 03, 2004 09:50 PM

Re: ok, i'm not really sure where to put this, if this is the wrong board let me know

I know people that have had abortions and went on to have healthy children. Don't feel guilty and get to a doctor when you can to get some peace of mind.

cluelessbride Posted: Sep 03, 2004 09:54 PM

Re: ok, i'm not really sure where to put this, if this is the wrong board let me know

You are going to be just fine sweetie! Don't get so down on yourself! Like others said, talk to your doctor when you fel up to it. You're going to be A-OK!

RedHead Posted: Sep 03, 2004 10:07 PM

Re: ok, i'm not really sure where to put this, if this is the wrong board let me know

Posted by ChristineC68

I know people that have had abortions and went on to have healthy children. Don't feel guilty and get to a doctor when you can to get some peace of mind.

Same here...go to the doctors for a check up and tell him/her your concerns...
I am sure everything is ok

tray831 Posted: Sep 03, 2004 11:20 PM

Re: ok, i'm not really sure where to put this, if this is the wrong board let me know

I am sure you will be fine--please dont worry---if it helps--go to the dr. for a check up--

lolita4life Posted: Sep 22, 2004 10:55 PM

Re: ok, i'm not really sure where to put this, if this is the wrong board let me know

i'm thinking that that is one of the biggest fears among ppl who get an abortion. some ppl have 2 or 3 abortions, which would probably not be a good thing in the long run... but they still got pg which says something. dont worry about it too much. im sure its fine. i go through the same thing. FM if youd wanna chat.

marymoon Posted: Sep 22, 2004 11:00 PM

Re: ok, i'm not really sure where to put this, if this is the wrong board let me know

it tkaes a lot of bravery to come out and say that. I know several women who have had abortions and all of them suffer the same kinds of doubts and fears and guilt years later. it's natural. Abortion is a difficult choice, and a painful one, and I assume that you id make the choice you felt was best at the time. I think going to to doctor is a good idea, it may alleviate some of your stress. I've never had an abortion, but I've always felt like if i ever did I'd be punished somehow by not being able to have children in the future. It's just a mixture of all of those complicaed, natural feelings,, I guess. it's an irrational fear for the msot part I think, but you're not alone. Many women have abortions and go on to have healthy babies in the future. Of course only a doctor can give you the real facts. Maybe in addition to a doctor you can find a therapist or support group to help cope with all of your feelings. I don't know what advice I have for you, but I wanted you to know that the way you're feeling is totally normal and natural and in no way means that you made the wrong decision at that time.

marymoon Posted: Sep 22, 2004 11:01 PM

Re: ok, i'm not really sure where to put this, if this is the wrong board let me know

Also, about not havig insurance. Many of the support type groups are free, and since a lot of the peopel are trained they may be able to address your fears from the meicla perspective having addressed them themselves in the past. Best of luck

Sassyz75 Posted: Sep 22, 2004 11:27 PM

Re: ok, i'm not really sure where to put this, if this is the wrong board let me know

Go to planned parenthood- that is where I went when I was in college & didn't have any insurance- they have lots of great doctors there and it would be great to put your mind to rest...

MonkeyLuv Posted: Sep 22, 2004 11:35 PM

.

lolita4life Posted: Sep 22, 2004 11:37 PM

Re: ok, i'm not really sure where to put this, if this is the wrong board let me know

it was the hardest thing i EVER did and i regret it all the time and think about if i didnt. I would be 5 1/2 months now.

brideinapril Posted: Sep 23, 2004 08:25 AM

Re: ok, i'm not really sure where to put this, if this is the wrong board let me know

I know this is hard - but as the other ladies said - you did what you thought was the right thing for you - There are plenty of women who have had an abortion, and I'm sure they all feel this way. I had one many years ago - I felt all that you are feeling. There is sooo much guilt it can be pretty overwhelming.
But on a brighter note - I am now the proud mommy of a healthy 6 year old boy, this one was a surprise as well but I went with it, I just couldn't go through the agony of abortion again. At times I find myself wondering about the one I terminated he/she would have been 14 by now, but I also know that I was in no way able to go through with it at that time in my life.
So, you are not alone - you will be fine - maybe talk to a counsler if these feelings get to overwhelming.

btrflygrl Posted: Sep 23, 2004 08:35 AM

Re: ok, i'm not really sure where to put this, if this is the wrong board let me know

it's a hard choice, and while I would have done the same thing if I couldn't provide, I can't do it now, DH wouldn't let me. In high school I had a friend who thought they were a method of birth control.....she had 3 abortions and one miscarriage, and she was 15-17 years old. Her boyfriend was an idiot.

I don't think one will hurt your chances of getting PG....but if you have multiples that are close to each other, it may hurt your chances being that scar tissue develops ( I think). I also knew someone that had a few, and she was told that she shouldn't have anymore otherwise she wouldn't be able to get PG or carry to full term. She had to kkep the baby and marry the guy (who is a scum bag)

gem9898 Posted: Sep 23, 2004 08:47 AM

Re: ok, i'm not really sure where to put this, if this is the wrong board let me know

thank you all so much for your advice and reassurance. i am going to go to the doctor and get checked out to hopefully ease my mind.

you guys are the BEST