OK I'm one BM short - why do I feel like such a horrible person then

Rob-luvs-me Posted: Jul 17, 2003 01:07 AM

OK I'm one BM short - why do I feel like such a horrible person then

Well it is done - I am one bm smaller. My girls have told me that it was the right thing to do - I even told her I wanted to work on patching our friendship - and I am paying her the whole cost of the dress -

I feel like a horrible person - but after she lied to me tonight and denied doing the things she had for the past few days and saying things I felt that I couldn't trust her and feared if I gave her a second chance it would only get worse.

Everyone is telling me I did the right thing - so then why do I feel horrible?

Elizabeth Posted: Jul 17, 2003 01:10 AM

Re: OK I'm one BM short - why do I feel like such a horrible person then

I dont know your story of what happened, it sounds like you had to un-ask a BM but whatever the case, even if it's for the best, you're going to have feelings about it. I'm sure you didnt want it to come to this but sometimes it's worse to not address things. I hope all works out for you.

Rob-luvs-me Posted: Jul 17, 2003 01:11 AM

Re: OK I'm one BM short - why do I feel like such a horrible person then

Read Luckyinlove's post and you will understand

MarciaD Posted: Jul 17, 2003 01:36 AM

Re: OK I'm one BM short - why do I feel like such a horrible person then

You feel bad now because you are a kind nice person and never could even think of doing what she did to you....

You did not deserve what she did!!!

I think what you are probably feeling is actually probably mourning the loss of what was at one time a good friend... This bad feeling will pass, lean on you other BP members to support you through this time.....

eternityawaits Posted: Jul 17, 2003 02:13 AM

Re: OK I'm one BM short - why do I feel like such a horrible person then

I agree with Marcia - you feel bad because you are such a nice person, and it is really too bad that she couldn't be the same towards you. I think a lot of the 'bad' feelings you have are maybe a little more hurt and confusion as to how someone you trusted could be like that, and it will pass. Everything always seems so much worse when you are under a lot of other stress also.

michele31 Posted: Jul 17, 2003 05:36 AM

Re: OK I'm one BM short - why do I feel like such a horrible person then

friendships, like all relationships, are bonds and when those bonds are broken or used in a hurtful way, we hurt. I think offering to pay for the dress and patch things up was the right thing to do. It hurts when we feel betrayed and that is why you feel so badly right now. but, in time, you may come out stronger friends.

xjulietx Posted: Jul 17, 2003 09:44 AM

Re: OK I'm one BM short - why do I feel like such a horrible person then

I agree with the rest of the gang. You feel horrible because you are nice. You don't deserve the stress this 'friend' is causing. You may hurt now, but soon enough you will be heaving a huge sigh of relief. A weight has been lifted, but you don't realize it because you were so used to carrying it.

Good luck!

eroxgirl Posted: Jul 17, 2003 09:48 AM

Re: OK I'm one BM short - why do I feel like such a horrible person then

You wouldn't feel at all guilty if you weren't a good person! You had to take an extreme action to deal with a huge problem, there's no two ways about it! It's sad that you had to go through this, but I'm sure your wedding day will be sooooo much better for all involved without her there! You didn't deserve that kind of treatment, attitude - any of it so you did what you had to do. Weddings can bring out the worst in people, as you've just seen.

Rob-luvs-me Posted: Jul 17, 2003 09:50 AM

Re: OK I'm one BM short - why do I feel like such a horrible person then

Thank you girls I didn't sleep all night because I was so upset -

swags1016 Posted: Jul 17, 2003 09:50 AM

Re: OK I'm one BM short - why do I feel like such a horrible person then

Christine,

First, I am sorry that, those posts were you and that you are going through that. What that girl was doing to you was nothing short of horrible, cruel, spiteful and just mean!!! You deserve much better than that. Trust me you will be better off without her. You don't need someone who is unstable and unpredictable in your wedding party. You need someone who is going to support you!

Don't worry about the uneven bridal party plenty of people have that!! What size is the dress if it is my size and if I am not preggo by then I will step in if you want !

Do NOT feel horrible you did not deserve the way that this girl was speaking to you or treating you!!

Keep your chin up sweetie!

Rob-luvs-me Posted: Jul 17, 2003 09:56 AM

Re: OK I'm one BM short - why do I feel like such a horrible person then

SWAGS you are the BEST thank you thank you thank you for the offer.

Well I just had two of my BM's tell me they want me to ask my friend from Law school - I didn't ask her in the first place b/c she doesn't have ANY money and she told me she couldn't take the position in the first place b/c she couldn't afford to. Well they just asked if I wanted to put her in and they will make up for her slack.

I told them that I can't ask them to do that it wouldn't be fair - to them to have to do that - so I told them if they all agreed to it ON THEIR OWN that was one thing but I could NEVER ask them to do that.

If they decide to do this - is there anything I can do for them in return - I have already decided to pay for their alterations and I'm getting them their shawls, I was thinking of getting them earrings or a necklace from tiffany's - what else can I do for them - they have been nothing but supportive and caring thru all of this and I want to show them how special and caring ladies they are?

pschica Posted: Jul 17, 2003 11:32 AM

Re: OK I'm one BM short - why do I feel like such a horrible person then

you did the right thing - but i am like you and would feel bad too...even though you shouldn't!

mlp924 Posted: Jul 17, 2003 11:54 AM

Re: OK I'm one BM short - why do I feel like such a horrible person then

You did the right thing! Now enjoy planning your wedding!

JuneBabyBride Posted: Jul 17, 2003 11:55 AM

Re: OK I'm one BM short - why do I feel like such a horrible person then

Lots of hugs for you christine!

kmcwed Posted: Jul 17, 2003 12:35 PM

Re: OK I'm one BM short - why do I feel like such a horrible person then

This girl has major emotional problems.

She is NOT a good friend.

You absolutely did the right thing, and are NOT to blame.

There's NO way anyone can reason or even talk to a person like this. It's like trying to talk to a brick wall.

Something else is p*ssing her off, probably jealousy, and she's blaming YOU for her feelings.

Having her out of the bridal party is the BEST thing that could have happened. It was only a disaster waiting to happen. Better now than on the wedding day.

I know it hurts. Especially if this was a close or long-term friend. But weddings will show you who your true friends are, and who is best left behind.

Sorry you had to go through this! It will only get better from here!

Samanthas Mom Posted: Jul 17, 2003 01:47 PM

Re: OK I'm one BM short - why do I feel like such a horrible person then

christine call me later if you want to talk, Im home sick

you feel horrible b /c you are so sweet!! and too nice of a person that is why it bothers u so much-- just give one of rob's guys two girls to walk w/
I see that a lot

ChristineC68 Posted: Jul 17, 2003 01:49 PM

Re: OK I'm one BM short - why do I feel like such a horrible person then

I am sorry you were forced to do this but I really think you made the right decision It always hurts when friends disappoint and lie to you

aliciahelene Posted: Jul 17, 2003 04:17 PM

Re: OK I'm one BM short - why do I feel like such a horrible person then

oh Im sorry you had to go through that! I agree with everyone else on here..you feel bad because you are probably a very sweet person. But it definately sounds like you did the right thing..now maybe you can enjoy the planning of your wedding!!! Congratulations on your smart decision to take her out!!