Even though friday was my birthday I feel like I spent the weekend in tears. FH gave me such a lovely birthday but as of sunday all I did was cry. I cant take all the the wedding drama anymore, its draining me. Betweeen FMIL threatening not to come if we dont do what she wants and my family badmouthing me I feel awful. My grandmother got mad that my uncle got the save the date before her and now she thinks shes not invited. I just figured the people who have to fly here should get theirs first so they can make airline arrangements. ugh
cammolax23
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Re: Ok I'm starting to lose it...
zoe282
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Re: Ok I'm starting to lose it...
Wow! sounds awful! Hang in there unfortunately it seems that weddings bring out the worst in people. I have no idea why.....BUT.....just try to remember no matter what you'll have a wonderful day. And afterwords this stuff will all go away and you can start your life. It's not fair that other people are bringing down this special time for you. Use your FH for support and try to enjoy this...
Kimbalina
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Re: Ok I'm starting to lose it...
Breathe!!!! Take everything slowly and think about it. Do you think grandma was seriously thinking she was not invited? FMIL sounds like she is having issues giving up her son to you. Does the rest of FH's family side with her or are they just appeasing her by listening to the garbage and letting her vent?
Espo22
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Re: Ok I'm starting to lose it...
YOU need to tell everyone to back off...tell them that they are making the wedding planning a miserable process for you. Say they've taken out any of the fun and excitement. Maybe if they realize that while they're complaining they are actually ruining this experience, and they might STFU finally.
So sorry you have to deal with all this BS
LeeLee111
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Re: Ok I'm starting to lose it...
Posted by Kimbalina
Breathe!!!! Take everything slowly and think about it. Do you think grandma was seriously thinking she was not invited? FMIL sounds like she is having issues giving up her son to you. Does the rest of FH's family side with her or are they just appeasing her by listening to the garbage and letting her vent?
I'm not close with my mothers side of the family but of course I'm inviting my grandmother. They're all a bunch of drama queens and love to play victim. FMIL is just trying to get her way and the rest of the family is appeasing her like you said. I just want to get married, whats so wrong with that.
Espo22
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and tell your FMIL that by her not coming it is hurting her son and in turn she is hurting herself because missing her sons wedding is something she will regret for the rest of her life. If she wants to deal with this and would actually even consider missing her sons wedding over something so small then to go right ahead and do it. I don't understand what gets into some people seriously. I mean how childish is it to get so mad at somebody that you would miss your own childs wedding, and you know that she won't but just saying that to get her way but still to even throw that around is disgusting. SHe needs to grow up. If she wants a party her way tell her to throw her own D*mn party. She had her wedding and this is your turn. The wedding is supposed to reflect who you and your fh are, not her. Someone is going to have to deal with her and tell her to grow up and really put her in her place, can your fh do it? if you do it then it will come out all wrong
mRm2008
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Re: Ok I'm starting to lose it...
Awwww I am sorry you had a bad weekend My birthday was 1/11 too!! for you I hope things resolve and you feel better about the wedding planning.
yelley77
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Re: Ok I'm starting to lose it...
hang in there... remember, this is about you and your FH pledging your love for one another!!! It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks/wants!
alymikewedding08
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I am SO sorry!!!! People are so crazy.. and they need to realize that it's YOUR day.. you should do it YOUR way!!!
I hope your FH can tell his mom that she needs to get over herself.. and as for your grandmother.. maybe your mom can speak to her. You just have to remember that on the day of.. it's all about you and FH and your love.. and it will all be worth it!
I am totally here.. anytime you need to talk!
FutureMrsCarrieri
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I hear you. i got into a HUGE fight with my mom because I am inviting my dad's girlfriend to the wedding (my parents divorced 19 years ago). He's been dating her for 7 years and now they live together -- what the heck am I supposed to do? Exclude the girlfriend and hurt my dad? It got to the point that my mom said it's me or them. So I told her that it's her choice to attend or not attend and that will miss her if she chooses to be childish. One whole month passed before she let it go.
Hang in there! I also have a BM that hasn't shown up for dress shopping and at this point i have decided that I'm going to let it just roll off my back. No one is going to ruin this time for me.
AR31
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Re: Ok I'm starting to lose it...
Emily08
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Re: Ok I'm starting to lose it...
First off, happy belated birthday!!
I'm sorry you're dealing with all this. You really have to try and take it easy, because you will make yourself crazy by the time your wedding comes around. I would definitely speak to your grandmother and explain to her what you told us and I'm sure she'll understand. As for your FMIL, as Espo said, she's only hurting herself by doing that.
As hard as it is, sometimes you just have to tune people out! I've coming to realize that you can never please everyone and people will always have something to say. I know that in this case these two people are very close to you so it's hard to do that, but definitely have a talk with them. Because If there's so much drama with you STD now, then what will happen in the months ahead! You shouldn't have to put up with their shenanigans during what's supposed to be the best experience ever!
LeeLee111
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Re: Ok I'm starting to lose it...
I love you ladies, thanks for trying to cheer me up.
mrspalomino148
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Re: Ok I'm starting to lose it...
I can't say it enough, weddings bring out the BEST and WORST in people... take it in stride and don't let it get you down! I know exactly what your going through, FIL and his side of the family didn't show up to the wedding over a missed merry christmas call .. people are just crazy! Seriously, your day will be perfect because the both of you will be there, you don't need anybody else! .. and you can always FM me if you want!
Melissa313
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Re: Ok I'm starting to lose it...
I'm sorry you have to deal with all that! I'm sure that is not easy at all. maybe it will help if you tell them that you are not required to include them in the planning and if they continue to act like this you wont. (and sometimes grandmas are funny they read way too much into everything, just assure her that she is invited and not inviting her never crossed your mind)
