Ok, so I REALLY need your help!

smilealways Posted: Apr 13, 2005 09:05 PM

Ok, so I REALLY need your help!

Trying to make a long story short, I'm finishing up my wedding programs and I have a question. Next to each person's name, I'm writing what the person's relationship is to either me or FI. The problem comes with one of my flowergirls. She is my daughter that I gave up for adoption 9 years ago but have stayed close to. Many people know I have a daughter, but many of the extended family and friends of FI's parents don't really know. Not to mention how would her adopting parents feel about it. So, what other options are there? If I leave it blank, it will be the only one and look funny. Any opinions? I asked FI, but he didn't have any ideas so I figured I'd ask the experts!

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Apr 13, 2005 09:08 PM

Re: Ok, so I REALLY need your help!

IMO, that being the case, I would leave the relation to you off the program. It wouldn't look right if you left it blank next to her name.

romameansamor Posted: Apr 13, 2005 09:09 PM

Re: Ok, so I REALLY need your help!

Tough one! Could you put 'Very Special Friend to the Bride'? Or something like that? That way she would feel special and it doesn't make for any uncomfortable situations or questions during a very happy day!

riniko Posted: Apr 13, 2005 09:10 PM

Re: Ok, so I REALLY need your help!

Is she your goddaughter per chance?

smilealways Posted: Apr 13, 2005 09:11 PM

Re: Ok, so I REALLY need your help!

Posted by dleeny

IMO, that being the case, I would leave the relation to you off the program. It wouldn't look right if you left it blank next to her name.

I was thinking of this, but I kind of thought that was the whole point of a program.

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Apr 13, 2005 09:30 PM

Re: Ok, so I REALLY need your help!

Posted by smilealways

Posted by dleeny

IMO, that being the case, I would leave the relation to you off the program. It wouldn't look right if you left it blank next to her name.

I was thinking of this, but I kind of thought that was the whole point of a program.

I haven't been to many weddings w/programs. But I never saw the relation to the bride or groom being indicated.

I think it's a nice touch, but with your conflict and touchy situation.... well, again, it's JMO.

cjb88 Posted: Apr 13, 2005 09:33 PM

Re: Ok, so I REALLY need your help!

Posted by romameansamor

Tough one! Could you put 'Very Special Friend to the Bride'? Or something like that? That way she would feel special and it doesn't make for any uncomfortable situations or questions during a very happy day!

I like this idea...

psf80 Posted: Apr 13, 2005 09:34 PM

Re: Ok, so I REALLY need your help!

I would omit how the bridal party is related to your or the groom. It will just make everything easier for you. JMO

CPAPPAS Posted: Apr 13, 2005 09:35 PM

Re: Ok, so I REALLY need your help!

you could always put something cute next to her name like 'princess ' or something...how old is she.?

and by the way, that is so awesome that you got to remain close to your daughter....

M&LSept1606 Posted: Apr 13, 2005 09:38 PM

Re: Ok, so I REALLY need your help!

you did say 'one' of your flower girls. so, you have two. keep the relationship out of both flower girls...maybe title the flowergirls as 'two very special little ones..' something like that? that way you can have the relationship on everyone else, except the little kids. (do that for the ring bearers if you have any too)

idovig Posted: Apr 13, 2005 09:47 PM

Re: Ok, so I REALLY need your help!

Posted by M&LSept1606

you did say 'one' of your flower girls. so, you have two. keep the relationship out of both flower girls...maybe title the flowergirls as 'two very special little ones..' something like that? that way you can have the relationship on everyone else, except the little kids. (do that for the ring bearers if you have any too)

I like that idea but if it's one still note her in somehow. She is still part of you.

BCTM33 Posted: Apr 13, 2005 09:57 PM

Re: Ok, so I REALLY need your help!

I would exclude the whole section detailing how you know everybody if you are uncomfortable listing her as your daughter.

jpsgirl Posted: Apr 13, 2005 10:39 PM

Re: Ok, so I REALLY need your help!

Your only choice is to leave the specific relationships off of the programs....otherwise risk people who don't know about your daughter whispering during the ceremony about it, or referring to her as something other than your daughter and hurting her feelings...

gNi1125 Posted: Apr 13, 2005 10:41 PM

Re: Ok, so I REALLY need your help!

For both flowergirls I would write maybe 'Little Angel' or 'Princess'. I wouldn't leave it blank next to her name only.

ssdbk Posted: Apr 14, 2005 02:50 AM

Re: Ok, so I REALLY need your help!

I would leave out the relationship to you.....My FI and I have become very close with each others friends.

I'm not sure if it makes sense but I didn't want to put in the relationship info and say where each friendship originated b/c someone may be offended to be referred to as my friend, when they are now close with him.

Also, one of the groomsmen is a dear friend of mine and he is a little bit self conscious about being the only groomsman who is not a longtime friend of my FH. I don't want to point that out to everyone, since he feels a little bit weird about it.