ok - what to do??

so i finally got one of those horrible responses where you only invited 2 but they replied for 3. except that #3 is my FG. there were no children invited to the wedding - even my ring bearer is going home after the ceremony - so by my FG coming it would cause a war.

how do i tactfuly have this convo? and why do i feel like i am being so rude?

and the best is - we did no kids for many reasons but #1 being the parents of the FG & RB didnt want them @ the reception so they could party. i am so p!sseed i have to have this conversation like there is not enough i have to stress about !

UUGHHHH

Um, maybe they assumed that since she's your FG she would be invited to the reception? Did you discuss this with the parents of your RB and FG beforehand at all?

We had a no kids at our reception as well, except the kids in our immediate family, two of which were our RB and FG and no one said a word to us about not being able to bring their kids.

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Posted by MissingTheBGene

Um, maybe they assumed that since she's your FG she would be invited to the reception? Did you discuss this with the parents of your RB and FG beforehand at all?

We had a no kids at our reception as well, except the kids in our immediate family, two of which were our RB and FG and no one said a word to us about not being able to bring their kids.

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yes we did - this is why i am bewildered by all this. my fg's parents were in a BP with me for someone elses wedding and they were so not happy that the person who was supposed 2 pick her up from their reception never came and they werent able to party. my rb's parents replied just for them.

am i being rude? or just consistent?

This is going to sound b!tchier then I mean it, but how come your FG is not invited to your reception? I mean, aren't her parents buying her dress and everything just to do the ceremony?

Is she really little? And the ring bearer is going?

Why would it cause a war? I put kids in my bridal party so that they could come to the wedding without people complaining.

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Posted by kathrynlinton

This is going to sound b!tchier then I mean it, but how come your FG is not invited to your reception? I mean, aren't her parents buying her dress and everything just to do the ceremony?

Is she really little? And the ring bearer is going?

Why would it cause a war? I put kids in my bridal party so that they could come to the wedding without people complaining.

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originally they werent invited to the reception for the parents. they are my friends (not family) and if their children (under 5 yrs) are there they would have to watch them and not get wrecked like the rest of us. i can clearly remember all of them being happy about this that i did not want children @ the recpetion and wasnt mad. they were glad that i would let my FG & RB go home after church so they didnt have to bring them all out to LI for pics and have ppl pick them up from there.

it would cause war because there have been members of my family that wanted to bring their children to reception and i said no - and my family is very FAMILY oriented and god help me if they found out a child was @ the wedding that wasnt family. (big enough deal family wasnt chosen for this role - but that is a whole other post) and than what do i tell my RB? he is one of 3 children - so if they bring one his bros will def cry and whine and will have to end up coming too.

i agree w/ you that they just bought the dress and all that - but i almost feel like - this was their idea..... but i do feel a bit RUDE - i dont know how to approach this conversation - and what my limits should be.

i also think - isnt she a little rude for replying for 3 when the invite was clearly for 2? i dunno...

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Posted by M&S Sept12006

Trish - I think this is a matter that needs to be clarified with her parents. I think this might have been a matter of confusion and not necessarily being rude. I would have thought that my daughter was invited as well if she was a flower girl...I think you should just explain to them about the situation with the Ring Bearer...Im sure htey will understand.

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god i hope youre right. i even consulted other ppl who knew of this situation - and they are all saying the same thing. all along they knew and welcomed the NO CHILDREN reception - it all just meant more freedom for them. its just an awful convo to have to have.

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Posted by M&S Sept12006

Trish - I think this is a matter that needs to be clarified with her parents. I think this might have been a matter of confusion and not necessarily being rude. I would have thought that my daughter was invited as well if she was a flower girl...I think you should just explain to them about the situation with the Ring Bearer...Im sure htey will understand.

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I agree with this quote - I think it may just be a misunderstanding.

Ok. That is really bizarre then. If they were cool with it all along and now want her to come, that is odd.

I totally understand the little kid problem. My SIL and BIL were both in my wedding party and they like to drink and party and they wanted to bring their FOUR month old to the reception. This caused all types of lunacy til my DH had to be the 'bad guy'

In the long run, they THANKED me for not having here there b/c they had such a good time just the two of them.

I had a no children reception and did not want any EXCEPT for the FG and RB. There was no way I could tell the parents (BIL who lives in NJ and Bestman who lives at least 30 minutes from the hall) to leave after the ceremony, find a babysitter and come back alone for the reception.

While I do understand the no kids reception, I HAD TO let the 2 kids in my BP come to the reception. Yes, they ran a little bit around. I stopped them once in a while and told them to calm down (they are both 5) but it really went smoothly. And no, no other kids were allowed.

I'm having a FG - my god-daughter who is the child of the bridesmaid & groomsman. She is staying for the ceremony and the cocktail hour and then she is out of there... and the parents couldn't be more thrilled. Then want to have a good time and that won't happen chasing a 2 1/2 year old around.

Maybe, just maybe... they were responding to the fact that the three of them are attending the wedding (ceremony)?