We just found out today that my cousin is pregnant. In a perfect world the family would be excited as anything but this girl is just an @ss!! She has two daughters already and a husband that doesn't work, cheats on her, does drugs and we are convinced he hits her too. She is living in this delusional world that her husband will shall we say come around after she has this child, just like she thought he would come around with the last one. They are extremely poor. Constantly getting evicted from places because he won't work and they are constantly calling my aunt and uncle because they don't have food. My aunt and uncle have never liked this guy. About 10 years ago they hired a private detective to track him and caught him doing a lot of stuff including cheating on her. But she does not want to hear it. They are SICK over this news that she is going to have another baby as is the rest of the family. What is wrong with people?? This is my cousin that called the night of my rehearsal dinner to tell me that she and her daughters who were in my wedding were not going to make it because the baby was sick, which turned out to be a huge lie, her husband would not LET her come!! This is just such devestating news. I think my aunt and uncle should call social services on them. I love my cousin, but I don't want those poor kids to suffer because their father is an idiot and my cousin doesn't have a mind of her own!!
Happybride2005
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Re: OMG, Can you say IDIOT!!!
Do you think an intervention will help. We could tell that you really love your cousin. Hopefully the family could help. You know how the saying goes, loves is blind. Just help her with the kids, as in support.
Boop2704
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Re: OMG, Can you say IDIOT!!!
Thats the thing, the family can't help. They have helped and helped and helped for the past 10 years and they still don't get it. The husband doesn't work because he knows in the end my aunt and uncle will come through, which they are not doing anymore. They just can't. There are only so many times you can offer help and not be made out to look like a fool, like they do to my aunt and uncle. She needs to leave this guy, not have another child. He is ruining her life and his childrens. My aunt and uncle have given them thousands and thousands of dollars over the years to help, which most likely went to his drugs, they have bought them new furniture, they bought them a brand new car, which he destroyed, they have payed numerous amounts of money to save them from eviction. They just can't do it anymore. Which is hard because they love their grandchildren, but because the father does not like my aunt and uncle, he does not let my cousin bring the kids to even see my aunt and uncle anymore. It is a sad sad situation.
palebride
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Re: OMG, Can you say IDIOT!!!
those poor kids... i hope you all can do something to help her out - i can't imagine what it would need to be though
Happybride2005
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Re: OMG, Can you say IDIOT!!!
Its sad that the grandparents don't see the grandchildren. here's Hopefully it will get better.
The Original 2nd-time-around
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Re: OMG, Can you say IDIOT!!!
That is so sad. Too bad your cousin doesn't realize how much damage she's doing to her children. I think for your aunt and uncle to help out any more would only be hurting, not helping the situation. I'm sure it's hard to just stand by and watch their grandchildren suffer but at this point it seems they've done all that they can.
MrsTC
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Re: OMG, Can you say IDIOT!!!
Honestly I think calling her an idiot is a little harsh. Put yourself in her shoes; I am sure she loves her family and is trying to make it work...you can't always see the whole picture when your are in it! I agree, not the smartest thing in the world...maybe her husband needs a little tough love. In any case, he has to want to get clean and start working etc. So if she is enabling him it needs to end. I would just be supportive. Don't call social services...they might split up the family and that's worse than anything.
kdelace
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Re: OMG, Can you say IDIOT!!!
jaime- im so sorry.. you must be really frustrated... it is a sad situation- sounds like my husbands side of the family- he has an aunt that is just like your cousin.... its really sad but theres only so much your family can help.. it gets to the point that you just want to shake them to make them wake up and see what reality surrounds them. Hang in there!!!!:
btrflygrl
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Re: OMG, Can you say IDIOT!!!
OMG....she is probably very afraid of him if he hits her and probably has an insecurity problem. If your family wants to intervene, you could anonymously call Child Protective services because his behavior is unsafe for kids, especially if he is a drug addict and hits her.
Xelindrya
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Re: OMG, Can you say IDIOT!!!
And this is why I have twin brothers and a baby sister.
The mother was a loser (it's true) and courts actually called her a compulsive liar. Her hubby beat her, she never worked and didnt want to. Once they tried to sell one of the kids on the side of the street. She used to go out and leave the door cracked open in her apt and neighbors would come in to feed the children or see if they were ok. Child Protective services were called more times than I can count. 3 times they ended up at our house (my stepmother is their grandmother) and finally the courts decided to remove them.
My dad (mind you NO blood relation to these kids) adopted the whole set. They were going to split them up because the girl was a year and a half at the time, and the twins looked nothing like eachother and were only 3 months old at the time as well.
So two years later (red tape) and the kids were 100% ours.
That stepsister of mine later went on to have two more girls which she dropped off at one of her aunts and never came back until the welfare office asked for proof she had kids.
