OMG! I don't think I can do this!

My boyfriend and I got engaged back in March. I was very happy but didn't want to plan a big affair. His parents and mine kept pushing. So I bought books and got ideas, but still didn't make a single move. Now here it is days away from October 1st I still haven't booked a thing! I can't believe I wasted so much time. I guess I kind of thought that we would do something small after all but our families wanted a big event (they want to pay for everything). And all I want to do is to go away to Mexico. Do something small, relaxing and intimate but my mother has sworn that she would never forgive me. Now my in-laws are siding with my widowed mother and my boyfriend and I are fighting. We've each called off the wedding once.

I don't think we can do this, we may have to elope.

I just needed to vent.

I think everyones goes through the 'I don't want to have a wedding, I don't want to get married, screw my mother' phase multiple times throughout the planning process. Maybe what you should do, instead of freaking out about booking people, come up with your guestlist, ask her to come up with hers and then sit down with your FH and your mom and see who you can trim off. You may realize that there were people you hadn't thought of that now you want at the wedding and therefore want a bigger one. Or you might make your mother realize how important it is to you to have a smaller wedding. If neither happens, then you need to push to have your voice heard, as you are the bride and you should feel comfortable on your big day.

Oh, and another suggestion, maybe ask if you can have a smaller affair and then a few months later have a bigger (possibly less formal) one so that both of you can be happy. And if you opt to do the second one as formal, you'll get to wear your dress twice!

i'm sorry!!! pressure from in-laws is very hard especially if they are saying they are going to pay for everything, because then they feel like they should get whatever they want. Remember this is YOUR wedding. Why don't you do something that is beachy? get married on the beach and do a wedding that keeps with that theme. then it is more relaxed and not as formal. even if they want something BIG do it somewhere that is less formal and can be the relaxed thing you want.

try not to let it get to you. its not worth fighting when its because of other peoples opinions that you are fighting. even if it takes sitting down with everyone and letting them know what you guys are feeling. let them know that it means so much to you that they are paying but you want to make sure this wedding is everything you and FH want it to be. i'm sorry!!! i hope this works out.

Thank you so much for replying - all of you. I didn't expect a reply just wanted to get the hurt out. Never one to just sit back and complain I have decided to go along with the plan. Its not like its going to kill me just make me a little unhappy for a while. In the end the only thing that is important to me is that I get my man .

I went to look at a few venues today, Rex Manor, Brooklyn Masonic Temple, Auntun's of Queens, and Glen Terrace. I've made appointments to see a few others in the coming week so hopefully this time next week I will have a reception location and be able to move forward from there.

Big sigh!

good luck with everything!!! i hope you have some fun doing it all!!! even with the insanity around you!!!