OOOoooooh I cant stand people!!!!! (LONG)

I NEED TO VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our RSVP date was friday.. needless to say.. I had only 80 something rsvps... So today I pick up the phone and call FMIL to call her idiotic side of the family... And call my mom and ask her to call our out of town relatives...

NOW... we can only afford for 100 people to attend this wedding, because my sister and PITA mother were astonished when i said i oONLY wanted beer, soda and Wine... (FH's side has several alcoholics, and liquor makes it worse)... But since the money that is paying the caterers is A GIFT from my parents, MY SISTER AN MOM INSIST we need to have Liquor!!!! I dont agree because ITS A GIFT, i should technically be allowed to use it how I wish?!?! RIGHT?!?!?! WRONG.

I have the whole FFIL wants to bring his new girlfriend Drama..... For those of you who missed it... (Readers Digest version)... FFIL is dating a new woman- She actually rented an upstairs apartment from FH's parents when they were still together..Started dating her in end of June... FFIL KNOWS VERY WELL that we are planning our wedding.. But DOESNT HAVE THE audacity (I was gonna say Ballz) to call us to meet her or even to TELL US!!!!!!! He drops her on us at a family fourth of july party.. Go figure... So now he wants this woman to come to our wedding.. My family was given the excuse no one whos been dating their partner for less than 9 months is invited...So what do we do???? FH tells his dad, that if he would have told himin the beginnning we may have been able to invite her, but now invitations have already been recieved, we need to see how many people are coming. ENd of story.

Back to RSVPs now... So Today while we are calling Everyone to see whether or not they are coming, FH dad tells him he will pay for his girlfriend to come.. I agree w/ FH and allow her to be invited...

So now I get my PITA FMIL calling me back and goes ' oh... i contacted harriet, fred and connie, they are gonna be coming and they wanted to know if Renee and Shane were invited because she already took off from work and its really hard for her to take off from work.. BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!!' UM.... DID SHE GET A FREAKING INVITATION?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!??!!??!?!?! WERE WE INVITED TO THEIR WEDDING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? (Is this so wrong of me to think this?)

Then FH calls his dad back and tells him, 'You can bring your GF, we looked through the list and are inviting a few extra people, like Renee and Shane and AUnt Mimi and Uncle (Somebody)...Blahblah blah...' WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
So now his dad gets ****ed at him, I get ****ed at FH, and mil is content cause all these people are invited!!!!!! FH doesnt even think he did anything wrong.

WE CANT AFFORD THESE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have a ton of people still missing RSVPs and I have NEVER MET THESE PEOPLE HE TOLD HIS DAD WE WERE INVITING.... As it is... If everyone says yes that we actually invited.. its 132 people. 125 was our max.. thats BEFORE these new additions!!!!!!!!

NOW---- The hall is paid in full, for 100 people... Do I ask him to lower it to Beer wine and soda and go behind my moms back? Theres no way we are gonna be able to come up with another 2 grand in 24 days... 800 was nad enough, since its just him working now... I dont know what to do... I really just wanna packup and run away... I cant keep doing this to myself, My head feels like its gonna explode...


Thanks for letting me vent......

AND ON A SIDE NOTE... FH also told his Dad that if Aunt Mimi and uncle whatever his name is comes it will allow them to pay their respects to Brians Uncle that passed away like a month ago... They live upstate, and told Brian that they wouldnt want to come back down to LI, cause they hate it... They were invited to the uncles funeral.. they 'couldnt make it' WELL I HOPE THEY CANT MAKE THIS EITHER!!!!!!!!!!!
Ooooh I am sooo angry, I wanna beat up my FH... and burst into tears all at the same time!!!!!!!

I really dont know what to say. Im sorry. Things wll work out dont worry!

Well this is a lot.

If your mother is paying for the hall (I hope I understood this correctly) then I would call her up and tell her that there have been some extra additions added on and that if she doesn't want to pay for the extra additions then you are going to have to do the beer, wine, soda b/c you can't afford the extra money.

Also, I would talk to FI about where he thinks the extra money is going to come from with all of these extra people.

I think your FI dad's girlfriend is unavoidable. If you don't let FFIL bring her it will cause just as many problems as if she does go but they will probably last a lot longer then the uncomfortableness of having her at the wedding. How is FMIL with her going? If she is really upset then you could try to explain this to FFIL.

Good Luck with all of this. Try not to stress too much. This is supposed to be the happiest time of your life.

About the beer/wine/soda: does your mom actually understand why you prefer it that way? Explain it to her again..that FH's family has a few drinkers and that it's better just to keep it w/o the hard liquor. I mean who would WANT to have anyone get drunk at a wedding you know? Maybe she forgot or wasn't aware?

As for the girl that took off work but wasn't invited - so you mean when she got married they didn't invite you? And then she has the nerve to take the day off thinking you were inviting her? Ball-sy, that's all I have to say about that. I would say tough luck to her about that, people are so weird sometimes. As for the new girlfriend of FFIL, I agree on inviting her, just to keep the peace.

Good luck, it seems that stress levels always go way up the closer it gets to the wedding. I hope it all works out in the end.

Try to relax sweetie!! Just think when that day finally comes how precious it will be!!

Moms not really paying for it....But yet she is. My mom and dad gave us a gift... and we worked it into our budget. She doesnt even drink and is arguing w/ me about getting rid of the Liquor...

We did invite FFILs GF... Had to.. I agree... FH was dealing with that issue... and as far as the others... I HAVE NO IDEA!!!!!!

Thanks ladies for letting me vent!!!!!!!!!

I thing 9Aug made some good suggestions. Also, is a cash bar a possibility at all? I'm sure many on this board will frown on it but if it works for you . .

If 125 is the max, talk to the site. My 'max' was 150 & after I spoke to them they upped it to 163-165 - but warned me it could be tight & it was our choice. So if everyone shows up for your wedding, they should be able to work in 7 more people if necessary. Is 132 includ. your vendors?

Good luck with everything - You''re almost there!!

If the hall is already paid for and your in-laws inviting all these extra people is causing you to shell out 2 grand -- too bad - THEY (your in-laws) have to pay for it!! THe line has to be drawn somewhere! Not fair to you. With my parents, FH and I told them what we could afford and anything beyond that, my parents could pay for if they really HAD to invite aunt so and so, etc. LOL. You have to be firm with them. Good luck

PS Don't beat up FH - men don't think like we do most of the time