After my FH and I got engaged, I asked a good friend of mine from college if she'd like her 3 year old daughter to be our flower girl. She was happy about this, she said she thinks it would be fun for her daughter. A few months later, she revealed she's pregnant. At the time of our wedding, her new son will be 9 months old. She lives a few hours from here. Preferably, I'd rather not have a baby at the ceremony. I could offer to find a sitter in the hotel room, but I don't know if she'd feel comfortable with this. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Should I talk to her about this? What should I say? Thanks.
quirkybride
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Re: OOT Guest with Baby?
I wish I wasn't so quick to ask if her other daughter would be a flower girl, because maybe just saying no little kids would make things less complicated...
Chanwich
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Re: OOT Guest with Baby?
we are going through the same thing. We have very good friends who live in TN who will have a year old baby at the time of the wedding. I proposed the idea of a babysitter to them, but they said they wouldn't really be comfortable with it since its not someone they trust. They said they would much rather bring the baby to the ceremony and CH and just leave early. I have no idea what is going to end up happening, because FH really doesn't want the baby there at all, but I would much rather our friends be able to celebrate with us than not come if they can't bring the kid Sorry, thats probably not helpful, but I feel your pain
sbarclay2
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Re: OOT Guest with Baby?
i am almost going through the same thing.. my FSIL just found out she is pregnant and she lives upstate NY and we have already said that we do not want babys at our wedding and i havent mentioned anything to her yet but i have to my FMIL.. who isnt fond of that. but its gonna be so hard for her bec the father is a d-bag and i am not inviting him to my wedding either bec i cant stand the guy so im just gonna have to tell her to leave the baby with him bec its only gonna be 5 months old. ughhh sorry had to vent to in a way.. FH gets it but just doesnt care when i talk about it too much.. and his sister is retarted who has a 5 year old that needs a lot of attention bec he has special needs and barely gives it to him so its really irresponsible that shes having another one.
bebita0830
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Re: OOT Guest with Baby?
I'm in the same position. My FH's ex boss has 6 kids!!! but bcause he and his family are pretty close to us, FH wants to invite them, this is not counting my own nieces and nephews...ugh!
quirkybride
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Re: OOT Guest with Baby?
How can I bring this up to my friend in a non insulting way? Is this too harsh to say?
'I'd rather not have a baby crying during our ceremony and music at the reception may be too loud and overwhelming for a baby. If it comes down to it and there's no way of not bringing the baby, of course I'd rather have you and your family there.'
Does this sound too selfish?
MrsDtoB
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Re: OOT Guest with Baby?
How about hiring someone to babysit at the party? Would you be willing to let your guest take someone she trusts along with them to the wedding and just set up a pack and play in the bridal suite and have them babysit while the wedding is going on? The only reason I'm saying this is because we have two children in our wedding, our son will be almost 2 and my niece will be almost 3. Since there is no one else to babysit them because they will all be at the wedding, we are having a friend of my FSIL come to the wedding, and setting up a pack and play in the bridal suite this way they can be at the wedding, but when its time for bed they have someone to watch them.
quirkybride
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Re: OOT Guest with Baby?
In the case that she would be ok with a babysitter, do I pay for it, or does she?
MrsDtoB
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Re: OOT Guest with Baby?
If she will be bringing someone along with her, then I guess you could just have them come to the wedding. We are just asking my FSIL's friend to come and babysit. Thats it. No gift. We will pay for her plate, the only thing she has to do is watch the kiddies. She could pay to have the babysitter. Do you think she would have a problem paying?
Jesebelle
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Re: OOT Guest with Baby?
How far away is she? Is she getting a hotel room and staying? Does she have a husband who can watch the baby while she goes to the wedding? Or can she leave the baby with her parents if they live near her?
quirkybride
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She lives like 4 hours away. Yes she has a husband and she said she's close to her mother, but is it rude to ask her if she would ask her mother to watch the baby?
MrsDtoB
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Re: OOT Guest with Baby?
No I don't think its rude to ask. Maybe she will just ask her mother on her own? I had a wedding in April in Virginia, I left my son home with my parents, even though we all were invited. I just wouldn't bring an infant to a wedding that far away.
MrsKon1111
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Re: OOT Guest with Baby?
you chould offer to pay for her mom to come to the wedding and watch her children...like someone else said in the bridal suite
im having my moms best friend daughter pick my son who will be 2 and my nephew who will be 5 when i get married up from the reception at the halfway mark and bring them back to my parents house for the evening
allornil
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Re: OOT Guest with Baby?
I'm all for adult only weddings but i know i wouldnt be comfortable leaving my infant w someone i didnt know.
We have a similar situation w FHs family coming from AZ. They wont be able to come without their kids bc theyd have to leave them home. I told him to see what happens and worse case scenario to allow them to bring them. I have a feeling its going to be too expensive for them to come anyway w the kids. :(
Can you have someone watch them at the RH? Like in a separate area? That way the mom can check on them.
leesah85
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Re: OOT Guest with Baby?
my cousin hired a babysitter to hang out in the bridal suite throughout the night with all the kids. it was like 2 or 3 kids.
Jennielee15
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Re: OOT Guest with Baby?
I actually babysat at a wedding when I was in high school during the ceremony. For the same reason! Or she might just want to keep the baby home with a grandma or grandpa! My friend just did this when her older daughter was a flower girl. She kept the baby home with a babysitter and went to the wedding for the weekend! No big deal. Most moms understand when it's the econd child. I would just bring the topic up and see where you guys get to... If she is close enough to you to have her daughter be your flower girl then it shouldn't be a problem!
