OOT guests for e-party...to invite or not to invite?

firenice1434 Posted: Sep 09, 2009 07:28 PM

OOT guests for e-party...to invite or not to invite?

what do you all think? Should OOT guests be invited to the e-party? We are not having a huge party and were just planning on inviting family and some close friends. We dont want guests to have another added expense of travel, especially for the e-party.

I thought we should still invite everyone, and give them the option whether to come/travel or not. FMIL thinks we shouldnt invite b/c it may seem like all we want is a gift. Should we send invites or not? I also dont want people to feel left out - it should be there decision to come or not, not b/c they weren't invited!

cavvento Posted: Sep 09, 2009 07:29 PM

Re: OOT guests for e-party...to invite or not to invite?

I would only invite them if they are immediate family (i.e. your direct aunts/uncles). Otherwise, I wouldn't because they may feel obligated to come or give a gift.

FutureJOC Posted: Sep 09, 2009 07:40 PM

Re: OOT guests for e-party...to invite or not to invite?

Posted by cavvento

I would only invite them if they are immediate family (i.e. your direct aunts/uncles). Otherwise, I wouldn't because they may feel obligated to come or give a gift.

agreed.. stick to immediate family.

chreesta Posted: Sep 09, 2009 07:45 PM

Re: OOT guests for e-party...to invite or not to invite?

I'm not even inviting immediate family that is OOT. My uncle lives in Alaska, so I thought that was a bit of a stretch for an e-party. I think you're fine with close by unless you think someone will really be offended.

dCa51899 Posted: Sep 09, 2009 08:21 PM

Re: OOT guests for e-party...to invite or not to invite?

If they're immediate family or very close friends, I would invite them. I don't think it looks like you're only asking for a gift - they are people that are impt to you! I think you are right - invite them and that gives them the option whether or not they can travel for the party

Spring143 Posted: Sep 09, 2009 08:26 PM

Re: OOT guests for e-party...to invite or not to invite?

i invited out of town guest. only because I know they come to visit. one from maryland came one from maryland didnt and my close friend who lives in vancouver canada came. just for the party.

DanielleMF Posted: Sep 09, 2009 09:15 PM

Re: OOT guests for e-party...to invite or not to invite?

I would invite them too. Leave it up to them if they want to come in for it or not. If you dont invite them they might get insulted.

lisagail55 Posted: Sep 09, 2009 11:50 PM

Re: OOT guests for e-party...to invite or not to invite?

I invited family from NJ, MD, and CA... CA did not come, but NJ and MD did. And they drove home that night! (MD stayed at NJ's house for the night).

Mommy2BeBride Posted: Sep 10, 2009 12:26 AM

Re: OOT guests for e-party...to invite or not to invite?

I am just going to send an engagement announcment to the OOT guests because it will be too many people if I invite them as well. HTH

marinai7 Posted: Sep 10, 2009 07:23 AM

Re: OOT guests for e-party...to invite or not to invite?

I would look at it this way - if they lived in New York, would you invite them? If you're really close to them, I would definitely invite them. They won't feel obligated to come but will feel appreciate the invite and the thought. FH's best man lives in Cali and we invited him to the e-party. We assumed they wouldn't come but wanted them to know we were thinking of them. JMO.

Soon2bMrsH Posted: Sep 10, 2009 09:23 AM

Re: OOT guests for e-party...to invite or not to invite?

i agree. for our e-party we invited all family (aunts, uncles, & cousins) that lived out of state, just so they didnt feel excluded. i just didnt think it was right not to invite them especially since they are family. thats just my opinion.

LadyDuda81509 Posted: Sep 10, 2009 10:24 AM

Re: OOT guests for e-party...to invite or not to invite?

if they are part of the bridal party or immediate family they should be invited even if they may not come.

halfbaked Posted: Sep 10, 2009 01:40 PM

Re: OOT guests for e-party...to invite or not to invite?

Unless they are immediate family or not *to* OOT, I wouldn't invite them. I'd invite family from Jersey, PA, or Buffalo but no from Cali or Florida or Ireland. HTH!

firenice1434 Posted: Sep 10, 2009 06:24 PM

Re: OOT guests for e-party...to invite or not to invite?

thank you all for comments...very helpful. We are inviting only immediate family anyway and decided to invite the OOT family, so they are not left out and they can decided whether to come.

JessNicole7EM Posted: Sep 10, 2009 11:29 PM

Re: OOT guests for e-party...to invite or not to invite?

I think you should invite everyone and let them make the decision themselves. Maybe put on the card something to the effect of it being a casual low key event so they don't feel pressured to be there.