Opinion..May be TMI (STD. not save the date!

myasmom Posted: Sep 28, 2004 06:32 PM

Opinion..May be TMI (STD. not save the date!

Do you think you could forgive someone you loved if they gave you an STD?

Situation, you are in love, the relationship is established and you have already slept together a few times and talking about marraige. But he/she has not fessed up about the STD becasue they are scared the other might leave.
So the reasoning behind not telling is not that of malice but rather scared of losing the person.

EAT sopposing it came out after the marraige? D you think it would last?

Do you think love will conquer all?

I asked this a while back, just wondering if there are any other views on this.

NO its not me but I just dont know how I would react if I was in either side of the equation.

mrswask Posted: Sep 28, 2004 06:35 PM

Re: Opinion..May be TMI (STD. not save the date!

That's a tough one. I am not sure what I would do in the first scenario. But in the 2nd one - I would be devasted and fuming in my husband first told me this after we were already married.

jenny2penny Posted: Sep 28, 2004 06:39 PM

.

MonkeyLuv Posted: Sep 28, 2004 06:42 PM

.

june262004 Posted: Sep 28, 2004 06:45 PM

Re: Opinion..May be TMI (STD. not save the date!

Wasnt there a thread about this a while ago?

They should be honset and tell you EVERYTHING... good or bad. If they werent honest then how can u trust them?

matron Posted: Sep 28, 2004 07:00 PM

Re: Opinion..May be TMI (STD. not save the date!

Something like this should definitely be talked about before marriage. If the partner is not willing to marry after the fact, then they would have wound up getting divorced if s/he found out while married. I cannot imagine telling someone I love them, knowing full well that I'm putting something this huge in the middle of the relationship. That, to me, is not love.

myasmom Posted: Sep 28, 2004 07:08 PM

Re: Opinion..May be TMI (STD. not save the date!

Wasnt there a thread about this a while ago?

Yeah, I was the one who asked..I got some responses but now Marraige is in th epicture for sure.

suven Posted: Sep 28, 2004 07:27 PM

Re: Opinion..May be TMI (STD. not save the date!

me: I wouldn't be able to forgive someone. In my opinion, if my partner *really* loved me, he would want to protect me and keep me safe...and DEFINITELY share that info with me...

june262004 Posted: Sep 28, 2004 07:46 PM

Re: Opinion..May be TMI (STD. not save the date!

Im sorry... I think if I wanted to not get a divorce I might need to talk to a therapist. I would be really hurt and not trustfull

marymoon Posted: Sep 28, 2004 09:36 PM

Re: Opinion..May be TMI (STD. not save the date!

I totally would end the relationship. It's not like 'i lied about eating the last cupcake because I didntwant you to be mad.' I don;t think it's excusable at all to say that it's b/c you didn't want to lose the person. My feeling is this..if you really love someone and I mean really and truly love that person you are more concened for that persn's health and well being than that they stay with you. You would never want to risk giving that person an STD even if it meant potentially losing them. And if the relationship was strong to begin with, I'm sure the STD thing could also be worked out.

myasmom Posted: Sep 28, 2004 10:42 PM

Re: Opinion..May be TMI (STD. not save the date!

For me its easy to agree with you guys because thats what I would do..but since I know them its extra hard because there really is love and fear of losing hte other person..I suspect that if this relationship ends a bitter future lays ahead for who ever comes after. Ever see two people who just epitomize love..its so sad.

brideinapril Posted: Sep 29, 2004 08:31 AM

Re: Opinion..May be TMI (STD. not save the date!

I have to agree with the others - I would feel soooo betrayed - the trust would be gone - theres nothing positive that could come of this. Its kinda sad in a way.
I feel bad for the person who has the STD, but if I was the other half of the equation I would be pissed to know that, my partner subjected me to it without full disclosure. Didn't give me a choice in the matter. Thats unforgiveable.

anjerandunder Posted: Sep 29, 2004 08:38 AM

Re: Opinion..May be TMI (STD. not save the date!

oh boy its a tough situation but with me lying is unacceptable..if you can't tell me the truth then you can't be with me..i would be completely hurt and feel totally vulnerable especially about an STD..the person is placing the other one at risk and not giving the person the opportunity to decide whether or not they want to be at risk..if love conquers all then at least let the person know about the std and maybe they would still stay in the relationship..if i wasn't told i certainly wouldn't stay in the relationship once i found out..and although its not being done maliciously, if the other person contracts the std they can still take action against the person who gave it to them if they weren't disclosing it. tell your friends good luck and don't let them think its okay to lie about it..jmo..

goingtobemrs Posted: Sep 29, 2004 09:08 AM

Re: Opinion..May be TMI (STD. not save the date!

Is it an STD that this person had in the past and doesn't have anymore? How bad is it? I would be completely honest about it, that is what represents the relationship - honesty.