So let me preface this by saying Fh and I have been together for almost 8 and a half years and have lived together close to 5 years.
As you know we had a hindu wedding this past weekend. His family thinks we are legally married (we aren't). Part of my family being ok with the hindu wedding is that we weren't signing the marriage certificate.
A couple of nights ago my mom suggested we become domestic partners bc of health insurance. Obviously we loved the idea, and are ready to do it.
I told a few people at work, and they were like 'why not just sign the marriage certificate?' I literally just told FH what my coworkers said, and he said yeah I agree. I think we should just sign the certificate, and then you can change your name before hand and not worry about passports, etc. blah blah..
What do you think?! I'm going to bring up to my parents when I see them tonight. i think they will have a big problem with it. But I'm not sure that it's not the right move. I dunno. I mean i want to 'get married' on november 10th and be officially married then, but is it really a big deal if we sign the certificate before hand? I need honest opinions!! And if your answer is we should wait- I'm going to need good enough reasons to convince FH to wait lol. Help! TIA!
Supermans
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i think you should just sign it and be married.
do you even have to tell your parents? could't you just 'fake sign' on your wedding day to appease them?
Sugarbutt
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I agree with the above post. Or, you could tell your parents that your 'Real' wedding will be the one in November. I mean, they should want what's best for you and health insurance is definitely a big one.
Future Mrs Snuggle Bunny
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Sign the marriage certificate!!! If yoy need medical coverage then do it!!!! it will just be on paper.... you can be 'unofficially official'. Don't sweat it...you can wait for the actual wedding to be married in the eyes of your family.
I had to do something similar to that. My Husband and I are duel military and in order to get stationed together we had to do a double by proxy marriage (which means that while we where in afghanistan...two people in Montana stood it for us). I am still deployed so when we talk on the phone we say 'we are unoffically official' I only told my mom. We are doing a ceremony for just the two of us Jamaica in Sept and then the big wedding next May.
Im getting Married
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Why not just do the domestic partnership until the wedding in Nov? It takes 10 mins in the clerks office and you get the same exact benefits as marriage
MarryingMyBFF1110
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thanks for your opinions!!! I THINK we are going to stick with domestic part. bc I was beginning to feel the wedding would lose some meaning...no final decision has been made yet, but i think i got swept up into the idea without thinking about how i would feel In november. lol. Thanks ! you all made great points.and i super appreciate it !!!!!
Tromsugar2b
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honestly its your choice and depends on your family, i dont personally think its a big deal, my DH was in the military and he would have gotten paid more if we had gotten married earlier, and that would have been nice, i didnt think it was a huge deal, but my parents were like....'then why are we throwing you a party? youre already married? whats the point then'?........so idk if they are paying for it and how your parents feel about the issue but, just speaking from experience i thought it would be fine and it wasss not fine with them!
kshea23
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i completely understand the reasoning behind you guys signing the license, but to be honest, it is such an incredible feeling stand up there with your FH and when your officiant says ' you are now husband and wife, you may kiss your bride'. I get goosebumps thinking back how amazing it was because that's when it was official!!!
Personally, i'd sign up for domestic partners for now. But that's just my opinion. You do whatever is right for yourself!!
POM917
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okay. whose marrying you in November? I ask you this because if an officiant is marrying you, he can't by law, hold a marriage ceremony for you in November, he will only have a 'commitment ceremony.' Our officiant made us aware of this when we met with him, and I know this because I asked, because I wasn't sure if I wanted to 'legally' be married. I know I love Luis, and I want to share this day with family and friends, but I don't think I need a legal certificate to say I'm married to him. Anyhow, the only way the officiant will hold a marriage ceremony is with an UNSIGNED marriage certificate.
JandS
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I would sign. I know a lot of people that sign civilly first and then do the ceremony.
