Brides Helping Brides ™ - Opinions please....

Post new topic

Wedding Forums > Brides Helping Brides ™ > Opinions please....

Opinions please....

christy Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:44 PM+

christy MEMBER SINCE: 1/02 TOTAL POSTS : 6763 WEDDING DATE: Apr 18, 2003

Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:44 PM

Opinions please....

Ok,
Last year when we planned our wedding I was very upset about the number of people who sent response cards back late. Even worse, many couples did not send them back at all! Well one of these couples is getting married next month. I have not yet sent back the response card. (Oh did I mention that they didnt attend our wedding or ACKNOWLEDGE it in any way). Yes, I just love DH's buddies!
Anyway this guy actually emailed my DH today to say that we have not sent back our response card! Well, where was that curtosy for me last year! So...
What do I do???
Do I send it back?
Do I send a gift? I know for sure I am not going. And yes, I am bitter!

nsgraham Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:45 PM+

nsgraham MEMBER SINCE: 10/03 TOTAL POSTS : 2267 WEDDING DATE: May 30, 2004

Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:45 PM

Re: Opinions please....

I'd send back the card. Be the bigger person. Don't send a gift.

september2004 Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:46 PM+

september2004 MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 3381 WEDDING DATE: Sep 18, 2004

Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:46 PM

Re: Opinions please....

yes - send it back and give a gift like you would do for any other person. why stoop to their level?

mrswask Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:46 PM+

mrswask MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 5832 WEDDING DATE: Aug 01, 2004 WEDDING LOCATION: Bronx

Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:46 PM

Re: Opinions please....

From what you're saying - If you're not going - I wouldn't send a gift - JMO.

Kathy116 Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:47 PM+

Kathy116 MEMBER SINCE: 2/03 TOTAL POSTS : 4534 WEDDING DATE: Dec 28, 2003

Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:47 PM

Re: Opinions please....

I am in a very similar situation...and I really really want to treat them the same way they treated me...but I am trying to be the 'bigger' person, and am going to send a gift and timely response.

But trust me...I have struggled with this, and you would be totally justified if you didn't attend, send a gift or response.

myasmom Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:48 PM+

myasmom MEMBER SINCE: 1/04 TOTAL POSTS : 2599 WEDDING DATE: May 29, 2004

Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:48 PM

Re: Opinions please....

Dont give in to vengence...it feels good for a while but soppose it was a situation that you were unaware of...strager things can happen. But do acknowledge their lapse in judgment and let them know that you would never think of doing it to them...this way you get an answer as to why they blew you off.

christy Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:49 PM+

christy MEMBER SINCE: 1/02 TOTAL POSTS : 6763 WEDDING DATE: Apr 18, 2003

Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:49 PM

Re: Opinions please....

It just sucks, and their wedding is the day before our 1 year anniversary. DH's friend couldnt attend because it was Lacrosse season (I found out months later), however they are getting married the day before our anniversary and it is not Lacrosse season this year? ***!!!
I am trying to be the bigger person, but I really DONT LIKE IT!

prncssrachel Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:50 PM+

prncssrachel MEMBER SINCE: 2/03 TOTAL POSTS : 11213 WEDDING DATE: Jul 03, 2005 WEDDING LOCATION: Stewart Manor Country Club

Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:50 PM

Re: Opinions please....

Send it back, but send one of your's 'by mistake'

Ok, I'm just kidding. I say rise above and send it back (although I'm a baby and would send MINE

)

Charly Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:51 PM+

Charly MEMBER SINCE: 10/03 TOTAL POSTS : 1801 WEDDING DATE: Nov 07, 2004

Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:51 PM

Re: Opinions please....

I would send back the reply - I think sending it with a gift would be the proper thing to do (even though it will make you cringe - it would make me)

sorry but that's jmo....

christy Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:56 PM+

christy MEMBER SINCE: 1/02 TOTAL POSTS : 6763 WEDDING DATE: Apr 18, 2003

Posted: Mar 16, 2004 09:56 PM

Re: Opinions please....

Well, I guess I will send it back. BUT I WONT LIKE IT! LOL
Anyway I just dont feel that I can send a gift without being totally agrivated though!

Charly Posted: Mar 16, 2004 10:10 PM+

Charly MEMBER SINCE: 10/03 TOTAL POSTS : 1801 WEDDING DATE: Nov 07, 2004

Posted: Mar 16, 2004 10:10 PM

Re: Opinions please....

ok consider sending back the response your compromise then

nov2004bride Posted: Mar 16, 2004 10:12 PM+

nov2004bride MEMBER SINCE: 8/03 TOTAL POSTS : 4661 WEDDING DATE: Nov 05, 2004

Posted: Mar 16, 2004 10:12 PM

Re: Opinions please....

Send back the response but I wouldn't send a gift

razz1031 Posted: Mar 16, 2004 10:14 PM+

razz1031 MEMBER SINCE: 10/03 TOTAL POSTS : 1099 WEDDING DATE: Sep 03, 2011

Posted: Mar 16, 2004 10:14 PM

Re: Opinions please....

Posted by nov2004bride

Send back the response but I wouldn't send a gift

I agree...

Pookiesangel Posted: Mar 16, 2004 10:52 PM+

Pookiesangel MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 3500 WEDDING DATE: May 07, 2006

Posted: Mar 16, 2004 10:52 PM

Re: Opinions please....

Posted by razz1031

Posted by nov2004bride

Send back the response but I wouldn't send a gift

I agree...

I second that

Boop2704 Posted: Mar 16, 2004 10:53 PM+

Boop2704 MEMBER SINCE: 3/03 TOTAL POSTS : 6048 WEDDING DATE: Feb 07, 2004

Posted: Mar 16, 2004 10:53 PM

Re: Opinions please....

I would send the response, but no gift. Your not going to the wedding and you are not family, so why send a gift. Plus, they never sent a response for your wedding, nor did they send a card, gift or even a phone call. I don't think you would be stooping to their level if you sent no gift. Your not going!!!

wenndypoo Posted: Mar 16, 2004 10:55 PM+

wenndypoo MEMBER SINCE: 1/03 TOTAL POSTS : 2390 WEDDING DATE: Apr 16, 2004

Posted: Mar 16, 2004 10:55 PM

Re: Opinions please....

Posted by nov2004bride

Send back the response but I wouldn't send a gift

Yep, I agree too.

This would BURN ME UP SO BAD!!!

kimmie Posted: Mar 16, 2004 11:25 PM+

kimmie MEMBER SINCE: 7/03 TOTAL POSTS : 828 WEDDING DATE: Sep 25, 2004

Posted: Mar 16, 2004 11:25 PM

Re: Opinions please....

Send it back and send just a card then you meet in the middle

realdeal Posted: Mar 16, 2004 11:32 PM+

realdeal MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 15 WEDDING DATE: Sep 18, 2004

Posted: Mar 16, 2004 11:32 PM

Re: Opinions please....

I would send back the response, but I wouldn't send them a gift.

EvenEdan Posted: Mar 17, 2004 12:07 AM+

EvenEdan MEMBER SINCE: 11/02 TOTAL POSTS : 3110 WEDDING DATE: Nov 27, 2004

Posted: Mar 17, 2004 12:07 AM

Re: Opinions please....

I would send back the response card, but they sure as HELL wouldn't be getting a gift from me. Call me vengeful, call me tacky...they simply don't deserve one.

Kel Posted: Mar 17, 2004 12:11 AM+

Kel MEMBER SINCE: 2/01 TOTAL POSTS : 3134 WEDDING DATE: Sep 30, 2001

Posted: Mar 17, 2004 12:11 AM

Re: Opinions please....

Get over it and send it back. There is too much bitterness in the world already .. no need to keep carrying these hard feelings, especially over something like this.

And believe it or not .. it's not until people actually go through their own wedding that they realize just how important those response cards are.