One of my closest friends has gotten engaged and is having a hard time deciding on her bridal party.
She thinks it would be easier just to have no bridal party at all and have her brother ( she is very close with him) stand by her side.
Has anyone been to a wedding where this has occured? Would anyone want to do this?
I told her anything is possible nowadays and if that is what she wants she should go for it!!!
She also has another problem- SHe was a maid of honor in one of our friends weddings this past October. This girl just assumes that she will be her MOH. HOw should she approach her if she doesn't have the wedding party. Mind you this friend is a drama queen and will make my friend feel guilty and never let her forget about it.
Suggestions suggestions.....
Thanks
OctBride03
Posted:
Member since
Re: opinions please
Hmm... I think your friend should do whatever will make her happy.... If she feels that she wants ONLY her brother to stand up there for her, I say that's fine.... She can have a male honor attendant. Her friend will just have to accept the fact that she is not doing the whole bridal party thing. I was a MOH for my friend and I did not ask her to be mine. Some people just feel differently.
BriBri529
Posted:
Member since
Re: opinions please
I would love to have my brother stand up for me, but from what I've heard, our priest (a family friend) will not allow this. If your friend is really close with her brother and she can do it , I say go for it!
nrvbrd
Posted:
Member since
Re: opinions please
Hi.
I am not having a bridal party. I will just be having my sister as MOH. I did not want to deal with a bridal party. I see nothing wrong with this.
As for the friend, she has to tell her honestly that she made the best decision for her and leave it at that. she cannot get ****ered into a guilt trip.
balilove
Posted:
Member since
Re: opinions please
This sounds like a tough situation for your friend. Having her brother stand up for her is a really nice idea and I have seen a male stand for the bride several times. About her friend, this is a situation where you find out just how good a friend she is, if she tells her that she is not having a BP and just wants her brother to stand up for her. I've heard this before where people expect you to reciprocate on the MOH and BM choices. It is really unfair and not appropriate. I would try the honest approach and let the chips fall where they will. Your friend can tell her girlfriend that she doesn't want a BP and that she would really like her brother to stand by her. I wish her best possible outcome
bride082003
Posted:
Member since
Re: opinions please
its her day, she does what she wants. Because of things like this -- I too did not want to deal with people being hurt by me picking this person and not that person, so I only have a MOH and a BestMan.
NIHA
Posted:
Member since
Re: opinions please
We didn't have a bridal party and no one seemed to be offended. We asked his brother and my sister to stand up for us as witnesses, they signed the marriage license before the ceremony, but during the ceremony, my BIL just held the rings, and my sister held my boquet and fixed my dress for me while I was at the alter.
We really wanted the wedding to focus on US and I don't regret the choice that we made. We did have 2 flower girls to add to the ceremony. Not having a bridal party saved us and those that we would have chosen a lot of $$ too (no flowers for them, no limos, no gifts, etc.).
I also think she shouldn't feel bad if she doesn't have the person whom she was a MOH for as her MOH. I would think that a friend would support her decision to have the wedding of HER choice.
Niecey
Posted:
Member since
Re: opinions please
I think that if this is what she wants she should do it (that's wonderful) but I am not very traditional when it comes to that stuff. As far as the other friend, once she makes the decision not to have a bridal party, she should let her friend know. A friend would respect the decision (although may be disappointed) and understand her decision and not make her decision more difficult. I was MOH for a friend and did not choose her as mine and chose another friend (not even family). I think it hurt my friend slightly but she didn't say anything or make me decision difficult.
Valenia
Posted:
Member since
Re: opinions please
I feel well equipped to respond to this question since I'm currently on the other side of the issue. My MOH got engaged. The most important thing from my perspective is that she is open and honest with her friend, who while she doesn't have a rightful claim does have rightful emotions. She just needs to be sensitive, and explain that the way she envisions her perfect day is with only her brother, but that she still loves her friend and its about her image of the ideal wedding and not a reflection on the value she places on their friendship.
july5bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: opinions please
I am not having a bridal party - just as MOH and BM. Me and my FI have huge families so it was either have very small or very big! We are trying to keep things simple so we decided against having everyone. We have gotten some slack for it but I am just biting my tongue!!
nrvbrd
Posted:
Member since
Re: opinions please
I really hope your friend does what SHE wants. I really like that idea.
Get this I am only having a MOH, but FH is having a BM and 4 GM. Do I care if people will think it is weird- not at all.
Kristen
Posted:
Member since
Re: opinions please
We are not having a full bridal party either. We are having a MH and BM and three flowergirls (our neices). I had been engaged before and did not what to ask the girls again so i just picked my sister. I am happy with our decision but it is also very difficult to acknowledge special people in your lives. We only have two readers to pick for the ceremony and there are a few people i would like to feel special.
eroxgirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: opinions please
I think your friend should do what she wants... have her brother stand up for her (you only need 2 witnesses - nowhere does it specify the sex of the witness) And she should tell her friend that this decision not about her friend...if she doesn't want a bridal party and only wants her brother no one should make her feel bad about it. It doesn't mean she loves her friend any less!
karen32
Posted:
Member since
Re: opinions please
Your friend should definitely do what she wants to do!!! I've been at weddings where the MOB was the MOH - there's nothing wrong with having a 'non-traditional' BP. Honestly, I wanted a MOH and BM, but FI really wanted his brother, cousins, friends, etc - so now we have 6 on each side!!!
michele31
Posted:
Member since
Re: opinions please
I think it is really beautiful that your friend wants her brother to stand up for her. This is becoming very common. I have also seen weddings that only had a best man, and then RB/FGs. I will say that NOT having a female MOH or BMs will make her Mom in charge of a lot of things, such as the shower. I see NO reason why someone HAS to ask someone to be in a BP just because they were in theirs. She should do what makes her happiest. Some girls only ask cousins and sisters and leave out all friends. It avoids hurt feelings. That might also be a good option for her. Not having a BP will save her money though- less flowers, less gifts, less limos.
HillandRon
Posted:
Member since
Re: opinions please
Thank you to all of you for your opinions. I will relay them to her and I will let you know the outcome!!!!
Sassy
Posted:
Member since
Re: opinions please
Hey Hillary, Your friend should definitely do what's in her heart, and not have it. She shouldn't worry about what this other girl is going to say, it's not like she's having one, and specifically not including her. Any good friend should understand. I think it's so sweet that she'll have her brother by her side. Tell her to follow her heart
christine1221
Posted:
Member since
Re: opinions please
Hill, I agree with the girls ... your friend should do what she wants when it comes to her wedding. She should explain what she wants to do & find another way to make her feel special ... There are many opportunities to include special people in the day. She could read at the ceremony ... if that's appropriate ... or give a toast at the reception.
We had a BP ... but I would have just as soon not have had one, but DH wanted it. I know plenty of people getting married today who have only a BM & MOH.
Good luck to her!
Julybaby
Posted:
Member since
Re: opinions please
Keep us posted on the situation. I agree with everyone. I think it's a nice touch to have the brother stand up for the bride and groom. I never even thought of this idea as an option, otherwise we might have done the same thing.
farah416
Posted:
Member since
Re: opinions please
One of my good friends from college did this. It worked out really well and was lovely. The whole family has a great sense of humor and her brother even joked if he should wear a dress or a tux It really was the best decision for her and she's never regretted it.
