im having mixed emotions about this decision! i know i probably sound nuts right about now but here is the situation- last sat. my mother my aunt my girlfriend and myself went to 2 trunk shows. one at bridal reflections and one a the wedding salon of manhasett. the reason for this is b/c i found 2 dresses that i liked and they were at these stores and both of the deigners were there that day. 1 of the first dresses that i tried on happened to be the one i went back for at br. the reason i was unsure about it and still am is because of the price tag! even though i already gave them a deposit im still alittle sick about it! my fi and i talked about a budget before this whole thing and we decided on 5000 was a fair price. so with that stuck in the bak of my head i fell in love with this 6850.oo dress! meanwhile i still was looking around b/c i was NOT paying that kind of money for a wed gown i am wearing once. so while i was still shopping thats when i came across the other one but when i went back to look at it ,it wasnt the one anymore! so we went back to BR and made my decision, but i did get them down to 5,000! but when i got home i realized that im going to be spending close to 7,ooo when all is said and done! i still need a tiara-veil-blusher-corset-shoes-and lord knows what else will pop up! so in the beginning of all this havic my mother said if i found a dress under 3,ooo she would buy it! but obviously iys not 3k but i kindly asked her to give me the money that she was going to give for the other dress and she said that it is different now b/c she isnt paying for the whole dress. i dont know what to do...my parents are paying for my reception so i really dont want to sound ungreatful but she originally said she was going to buy! what would you do????/ im sorry this was so long but i didnt know how to shorten it!
NovemberSue
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Re: ordered my dress!!!
I don't know what to say. Everyone's opinion would probably differ according to their financial status. I would never spend that kind of money on something that you wear once but again thats just me. $7,000 may be too steep for me but not so bad for someone else. Hope I helped some.
Sassy
Posted:
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Re: ordered my dress!!!
I would also never spend that on a dress, but then again, I have a limited budget and FH are paying for most of it ourselves. I understand you want the dress, but I could see why your Mother does not want to pay the $3000 towards it, she wanted to pay for the dress, not part of it.
I break it down to this, it is your day, if this is your dream dress and IF you have the budget to pay for it ourself, then go ahead. Noone can tell you what's right or wrong. It's what will ultimately make you happy. You must, however, be prepared to pay for it.
diamondgrl1
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Re: ordered my dress!!!
well just like yourself im not a millionaire! i just really liked the dress and i havent found anything that even came lose to it so i figured if our budget was 5k and they would negotiate on that 6850 then i would take it. the took 5k so i hopped right on that deal not thinking about all the other extras so now im stuck! im really hoping that my mother will help me out! or i better hit the lotto soon
Sassy
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Re: ordered my dress!!!
Good luck, maybe you can plead your case to her, or have her pay for all the accessories instead, maybe it'll feel more whole to her if she buys the tiara, veil , slip, shoes, corsets. . .
Sassy
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Re: ordered my dress!!!
Did you leave a big deposit?
kittyke
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I see that you are not getting married for another year, my advice to you is too wait and you'll most likely find another dress that you love and it may be cheaper. If you have that kind of money to spend you should spend it somewhere else....maybe on the honeymoon, something you won't regret spending it on. But just remember this is only my opinion. Good Luck to you!
NovemberSue
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Re: ordered my dress!!!
If you absolutely have your heart set on that dress, you may have to cut your budget on something else then. Instead of having a budget for flowers of $3000,perhaps make that $2000- and then cut a budget for something else. I'm just trying to come up with ideas to help. If you think you can trim costs somewhere else and you can handle it,then go for it!
Sonicstef
Posted:
Member since
Re: ordered my dress!!!
Diamond: I posted in your other thread too but I had not seen this.
I have an expensive dress but tried to keep the cost of accessories to a minimum. You definitely DON'T need another $2K in accessories.
That being said - I really don't think you should get such an expensive dress if you can't afford it yourself. Its one thing to splurge for your own benefit, its another to expect your parents to spend several thousands more than their original budgeted amount for you dress - particularily since they are paying for the reception.
zac1228
Posted:
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Re: ordered my dress!!!
I also would not have bought a dress for that much money. I also set a $5,000 buget for my gown, but I included accessories in that. I have gone over my budget a little on accessories and stuff, but not by that much. But, everyone has different opinions on that stuff.
That being said... I understand you mother not wanting to pay for a $5,000 dress. But if she was willing to pay for a $3,000 one, I don't understand why she can't just give you maybe half of it and you pay for the rest. I understand that they are paying for the rest of the wedding and you don't want to sound ungrateful, but that just doesn't make sense to me. I would try to talk to her again. Also, why didn't she tell you she wouldn't give you any $$ for it before you put down a deposit.
antoinette
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Re: ordered my dress!!!
maybe your mom feels that the dress itself is too expensive, which is why she wont contribute at all- sometimes when people are paying for something they want it to be something that they agree with.
Just my opinion- i could be wrong.
Sassy
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Re: ordered my dress!!!
Antoinette, I think you're right. It seems she thinks over $3000 is not reasonable, she probably doesn't want to play a part of it.
Sonicstef
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Totally off topic...but can we see a picture. I love Ines gowns.
Claud2001
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Re: ordered my dress!!!
I definitely think that $5K is a lot to budget for a wedding gown, and I was surprised when you said that you and your FI discussed it, and considered that a fair budget. My hubby would have laughed in my face if I had even thought about paying that much for a gown that I only wore once!
Ultimately, it is your choice how much you want to spend on your wedding gown, so I won't tell you what to do - you need to decide for yourself. Maybe you can re-arrange your overall budget for the wedding, and decide upon less expensive invites or flowers, in order to cover the cost of your dress. If this is your dream dress, than go for it. But, I agree with Stef that you should be able to afford this dress without the help of your parents.
I want to offer a little perspective and one suggestion for future wedding planning decisions...first, the perspective...after the wedding day is long gone and life gets back to normal, you and your new hubby will need money for things like a house, furniture, food and clothing. Even if you make a good living, it is always very expensive to buy your first home (with closing costs and improvements in order to move in), and maybe you'll wish that you hadn't been so flexible with your budget for the wedding. Here's a suggestion - make a budget and stick to it. Do not allow yourself to visit with vendors that are out of your price range b/c you will fall in love with their work and be broken hearted that you can't afford them. There are quality vendors (and gorgeous wedding dresses) for every style and budget. Good luck!
diamondgrl1
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Re: ordered my dress!!!
SONIC: I WILL BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO SHARE A PIC WITH YOU AS SOON AS I DEVOLOPE THEM AND HOPEFULLY THEY COME OUT GOOD.
michele31
Posted:
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Re: ordered my dress!!!
I never say 'Don't spend XX on a gown, flowers, favors, cake etc..' because we all have different priorities. Some girls don't care much about invites but want to spend a ton on a veil. If you are having second thoughts call the bridal shop ASAP and go back. If you are worried about the money for the gown, then perhaps your 'inner voice' is telling you that this is not the dress for you. Will the bridal shop apply your deposit to a new dress? If so, consider looking again.
Another hint: Never try on or visit any vendors/designers that you cannot afford. It is just a huge tease.
Misty
Posted:
Member since
Re: ordered my dress!!!
I think your mother is right in not wanting to chip in for the dress, and I agree with the previous poster that said that it's the fact that she wanted to buy you the gown, not chip in.
That being said, you can get away with spending less than 500 bucks on the rest of your accessories. You can easily spend 200 on a headpiece, or even $40 if you venture on to ebay. A corset/bra will run you about $50, and the shoes can run the same. Just budget yourself and don't look at things that are out of your price range. I turned down a $5000 dress because I couldn't resolve in my mind that spending that amount of money would make me look good. In my opinion, my mom still spent to much, but it was a lot better than spending the same amount as a compact car.
Definately call your bridal store and explain the predicament. You just ordered the gown so it's probably not too late to change the dress to one that you can afford.
Sonicstef
Posted:
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Re: ordered my dress!!!
I just came back to give you the breakout of what my items cost:
Dress: Over $3K Veil: $90 (custom made from Glamgal) Shoes: $26 (on major sale) Headpiece $100 (from Naugi.com) Earrings: $20 (from Naugi.com Undergarments: $130 (Spent to much here but that was because I didn't start looking soon enough)
And I wasn't making any huge attempt to budget - just kept in mind what I wanted and started seraching early. If you are really budget conscious, you could probably spend half what I did.
