I'm having 7 bridesmaids, 2 of which live out of state. I found a dress that I think will flatter all of them (they all have very different body types) but I'm the only one who's tried it on (saw it while shopping with my mom for her MOB dress). I emailed 5 of them a pic of the dress and 2 responded saying they like it but the others never responded. I know everyone, including myself, are very busy with crazy schedules so I'm wondering . . . Is it rude/ inconsiderate to just tell them 'This is the dress, this is where you can go get fit and order it. It costs X amount, please do so by X date'?
I don't know the 'rules' of how this is supposed to work. I also don't want a bunch of headaches with people wanting different dresses. I want a formal/uniform look so I don't want everyone in different dresses. How did everyone else orchestrate their BM dress shopping?
TIA
KerriJohnS
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Re: Ordering BM dresses question?
Is it rude?? Hmm.. yes and no. Adults like to have choices. can you maybe call the 3 who didn't respond to get a final buy in from them?
I've seen this go down before and at the end girls have put up a fight and refused to wear the dress... and it was already ordered. My goal would be to avoid that from happening.
I know you are the bride and you get the ultimate decision. But they do have to wear it... and for me it's important that my girls are comfortable and feel good with how they look that day. Comfortable and happy BM's makes for an easier day.
Lsorrent
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Re: Ordering BM dresses question?
I would recommend having at least most of them try it on before deciding for sure. I picked out two dresses and let my girls vote. Then after a majority vote, I had all the girls (except one that lives in CA) try that one on. It happened to look great on everyone, so that's what we're going with. But at least they still felt like they were part of the decision process.
cavvento
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Re: Ordering BM dresses question?
I would reach out to them again to get their opinions. And I would also give them the option of them finding the stores on their own that's local to them, or calling in their measurements to the store where your local bridesmaids are getting it, and having it shipped to them. Giving them this option will make it seem like you're really putting their interest and what's easiest to heart.
NewYorker09
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Re: Ordering BM dresses question?
Thanks for the responses! I really did think I was being considerate by trying to pick a dress that would be affordable and flattering on everyone. I did go shopping for BM dresses twice with my MOH but happened to see this dress when I was with my mom. I'm trying to set up a date for everyone to go together to try on dresses (at least the local girls) so we'll see how that works out. This is the dress I'm hoping will work for everyone BTW . . .
I was in an out of state wedding a few years ago, and the bride just emailed me the dress she chose with instructions on how to order. It didn't bother me at all - it's not my day, so I really didn't mind.
JLWSJC
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Re: Ordering BM dresses question?
I chose the girls in my BP because I love them, and they love me... so I know if I chose a dress and said this is what I want you to wear, as long as it was reasonably priced, they'd all say ok!! They trust my taste because we're friends. And my friend chose the dress we wore for her wedding and it didn't bother me at all. She took us all into consideration, but we didn't all get to try it on... wasn't a big deal.
ourwedding9510
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Re: Ordering BM dresses question?
I'm not much help on how I'm doing it because my girls are wearing black and they get to pick out their dresses (they are going to be the same designer and material but different dresses).
I don't think it's rude AT ALL that you tell them this is what the dress is. You took the time to try it on and email it to the girls and they didn't get back to you. My FSIL took me shopping to look at dresses and then she emailed all the girls and said 'Hey girls! I found your BM's dresses.' And that was it. She showed us the color and the dress and we then went and bought them.
julesrbf
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Re: Ordering BM dresses question?
Meh. I know I'm incredibly self conscious and don't have the highest self-esteem. I would feel horrible if the bride just picked the dress and it would be something terribly unflattering on a larger lady. I feel at least sending them a link to the dress and making sure they ALL give feedback is the way to go. Even if there are girls out of state, at least let them feel as if their opinion is valid.
I love my friends, but if they flat out told me what to wear without letting me so much as give a thumbs up or a thumbs down, I'd be pissed.
