OT & guest

So...my fiance, whom I've been dating for four years, was invited to the wedding of a 'close' female friend recently + guest. Seriously, I have met this girl a million times..she's knows full well we're engaged and I feel it's ridiculously rude to invite him plus 'guest'. Who else is he bringing?? I have gone out of my way to get the spellings of people's significant others that I plan to invite to my wedding, even if I never met them. It's jsut obnoxious not to do that I think if they've been dating awhile.

Perhaps it's just that I don't like her..the first time I met her four years ago, she leaned across the table and buttoned my new boyfriend's buttons ( nope I didn't hit her, don't worry) and THEN asked him if he was taking her with himto his next family wedding ( apparantly they went as friends to his brother';s wedding)?

He says she's a close friend..I disagree because if she was, she wouldn't do something so rude. If she was a male, I may perhaps disregard it saying she didn't know any better. However, she does know better and I almost think she did it on purpose. Am I crazy? Maybe?? I don't know.

Anyway, I am extremely offended by this..it's not as if it never happend before and I've never put up a fit any other time...so I think it's in part due to the fact that she's a b*&tch and part due to the fact that I'm completely stressed out about wedding planning..but still....I told him to go without me. He said okay. Now I'm mad at both of them. LOL.


I think I need a break from wedding planning. How was your day?

yikes, I agree that is so incredibly rude and I think you are right to be offended! Especially since you are engaged AND this is supposedly a close friend of your FH who knows your name already!!! Sounds like she is definitely jealous of you and insecure for some reason and did it out of spite, particularly considering her strange behavior the first time you met her, that's not normal the way she acted!
Oh and your FH said 'okay' when you told him to go alone... I don't blame you for being PO'd!!!!!!! I can't believe he doesn't see your side on this!!!!!!

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Posted by ValnChris

THANK YOU!!!! I feel like such a brat..but I can't help it. I agree, he should be as upset as I am. I'm in a bad mood today, for sure, so that isn't helping either.

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Don't feel like a brat! You're totally right in this situation to feel the way you do. This girl is bad news!

We got invitations to weddings of family members that said '& Guest' on them, before and after we were engaged, it annoyed teh hell out of me! Especially since they all knew who I was. And I would be just as PO'd as you.

BUT we had a few of our guests that brought guests (and we knew their first names) but when we tried to get their last name it was like talking to ourselves...the guest was busy and never got back to us...so guess what-the invite went out John Smith & Guest. And on the inside it said John & Jane.

I see how you are upset with FH for being ok with leaving you home-but I know I have a close male friend I grew up with and if DH ever said he was going to his wedding that would be my response too-ok. I can also say that you dont seem to be an inconsiderate person-where as her buttoning is **** would have set me off-they may have that kind of relationship-flirty/fun or whatever you want to call it. You should talk to HIM about the relationship he has with her before technically gettingmad at her for her actions-obviously he allows it to go on and that isnt really her fault.

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Posted by PegaLega

We got invitations to weddings of family members that said '& Guest' on them, before and after we were engaged, it annoyed teh hell out of me! Especially since they all knew who I was. And I would be just as PO'd as you.

BUT we had a few of our guests that brought guests (and we knew their first names) but when we tried to get their last name it was like talking to ourselves...the guest was busy and never got back to us...so guess what-the invite went out John Smith & Guest. And on the inside it said John & Jane.

I see how you are upset with FH for being ok with leaving you home-but I know I have a close male friend I grew up with and if DH ever said he was going to his wedding that would be my response too-ok. I can also say that you dont seem to be an inconsiderate person-where as her buttoning is **** would have set me off-they may have that kind of relationship-flirty/fun or whatever you want to call it. You should talk to HIM about the relationship he has with her before technically gettingmad at her for her actions-obviously he allows it to go on and that isnt really her fault.

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Touche', great point!! I did just that tonight...I told him very calmly why I was upset and told him that if he really wanted to go, I wanted him to call her and have a chat with her first. I said that maybe he could just ask her whether or not she handled the invite ( and we all know of course she did because what guy does that?) and then just go from there.

He was very receptive ( this time), perhaps because I wasn't yelling. LOL. He offered that he would maybe just tell her how rude it is perceived as ( duh) since she's met me and knows we're engaged and that I'm more important to him than 'guest'. That made me very happy and I told him I will go to the wedding happily with him if he says does that. I could care less about what she does or says, it's the fact that he doesn't stick up for me that bothers me.....I told him the same thing when we first met her. I didn't give a f*ck bout her, I cared only that he sat there and LET her button his buttons and then said ' OF COURSE' I'll take you with me to my next family wedding while I was sitting there like an idiot. UGH. MEN!!! When can I take the training wheels off?? LOL

Thanks everyone!

I TOTALLY AGREE!!!!!
I have been the 'guest' on two occasions, and it makes me feel like they could care less finding out what my last name is. The most recent wedding invitation that we received said 'and guest' and the bride actually showed me her wedding dress (so it didn't occur to her to put my name on the invitation).
I couldn't agree with you more, i find it rude especially when you know the bride and groom and they still put 'guest'.

I would be offended as well. I made sure to get proper spellings and full names of all couples engaged or living together who were invited. FH and I made calls or emails to our friends/family to verify their info so all would be PERSONAL and correct.

I think saying 'and guest' on an invite to an engaged couple is downright LAZY. Then again its JMO

You should go and wear white!! or red!! That would get her attention. But seriously you do have a right to be annoyed, I would be. Why didn't she just lift her leg and pee on him!! Girls really can be evil sometimes!! Hence the reason I don't have many girlfriends! I think its great that you were able to get your point across to FH and it sounds like he gets it. Definitely go and have a great time!

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Posted by ValnChris

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Posted by PegaLega

We got invitations to weddings of family members that said '& Guest' on them, before and after we were engaged, it annoyed teh hell out of me! Especially since they all knew who I was. And I would be just as PO'd as you.

BUT we had a few of our guests that brought guests (and we knew their first names) but when we tried to get their last name it was like talking to ourselves...the guest was busy and never got back to us...so guess what-the invite went out John Smith & Guest. And on the inside it said John & Jane.

I see how you are upset with FH for being ok with leaving you home-but I know I have a close male friend I grew up with and if DH ever said he was going to his wedding that would be my response too-ok. I can also say that you dont seem to be an inconsiderate person-where as her buttoning is **** would have set me off-they may have that kind of relationship-flirty/fun or whatever you want to call it. You should talk to HIM about the relationship he has with her before technically gettingmad at her for her actions-obviously he allows it to go on and that isnt really her fault.

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Touche', great point!! I did just that tonight...I told him very calmly why I was upset and told him that if he really wanted to go, I wanted him to call her and have a chat with her first. I said that maybe he could just ask her whether or not she handled the invite ( and we all know of course she did because what guy does that?) and then just go from there.

He was very receptive ( this time), perhaps because I wasn't yelling. LOL. He offered that he would maybe just tell her how rude it is perceived as ( duh) since she's met me and knows we're engaged and that I'm more important to him than 'guest'. That made me very happy and I told him I will go to the wedding happily with him if he says does that. I could care less about what she does or says, it's the fact that he doesn't stick up for me that bothers me.....I told him the same thing when we first met her. I didn't give a f*ck bout her, I cared only that he sat there and LET her button his buttons and then said ' OF COURSE' I'll take you with me to my next family wedding while I was sitting there like an idiot. UGH. MEN!!! When can I take the training wheels off?? LOL

Thanks everyone!

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The training wheels never come off
Im glad that he was more receptive to you this time-Hope you get the chance to woop her asss!

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Posted by nicopico13

You should go and wear white!! or red!! That would get her attention. But seriously you do have a right to be annoyed, I would be. Why didn't she just lift her leg and pee on him!! Girls really can be evil sometimes!! Hence the reason I don't have many girlfriends! I think its great that you were able to get your point across to FH and it sounds like he gets it. Definitely go and have a great time!

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LOL LOL LOL.....

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Posted by PegaLega

We got invitations to weddings of family members that said '& Guest' on them, before and after we were engaged, it annoyed teh hell out of me! Especially since they all knew who I was. And I would be just as PO'd as you.

BUT we had a few of our guests that brought guests (and we knew their first names) but when we tried to get their last name it was like talking to ourselves...the guest was busy and never got back to us...so guess what-the invite went out John Smith & Guest. And on the inside it said John & Jane.

I see how you are upset with FH for being ok with leaving you home-but I know I have a close male friend I grew up with and if DH ever said he was going to his wedding that would be my response too-ok. I can also say that you dont seem to be an inconsiderate person-where as her buttoning is **** would have set me off-they may have that kind of relationship-flirty/fun or whatever you want to call it. You should talk to HIM about the relationship he has with her before technically gettingmad at her for her actions-obviously he allows it to go on and that isnt really her fault.

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i totally agree. first of all - girls will be girls - and it totally pisses me off. i have NEVER been a jealous girl..EVER.. but there are a select couple of girls that just rubbed me the wrong way from the get go...and i was right about all of them!! the buttoning the shirt & then blatenly asking if he was bringing HER to his next wedding while u, his new g/f is sitting there? ugh - i've dealt with a girl JUST like this & i nipped it in the bud right away...this was an ex of FH's and she actually said to him RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME 'u know - we should get together and have lunch sometime'...umm...NO. Luckily DH saw the smoke signals and knew i was right. Always follow ur intuition with bad feelings 'cause most of the time they're right. Now as for the invite, I agree with pegs. It's utterly annoying, but the same we had the same issue with ours - if we didn't know the significant other's last name we addressed it too 'Mr. John Smith & Guest' and then on the inside put 'john & jane'...now if she's so close with ur FH, yes she could've called & asked, but honestly she probably just didn't care. Try not to let it get to you - because then she wins And it's probably bothering u more 'cause u cant stand the girl. u guys are getting married now, and so is she. so brush it off, just forget about it & hope that the relationship distances. Be clear with DH about the way u feel about her(because like pegs said - he's allowing it to go on) & then be done with it. Dont let her rob ur joy or cause a fight with DH - because then again - she wins.