OUR FUTURE!!
How soon before this is reality?
Something to ponder.
ORDERING PIZZA IN THE FUTURE!
Operator: 'Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I help you?'
Customer: 'Hi, I'd like to order.'
Operator: 'May I have your NIDN first, sir?'
Customer: 'My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610.'
Operator: 'Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. And
my machine says you are calling from your home.'
Customer: 'Huh? Yeah, I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?'
Operator: 'We're wired into the national home front protection system, sir.'
Customer: (Sighs) 'Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas. '
Operator: 'I don't think that's a good idea, sir.'
Customer: 'Whaddya mean?'
Operator: 'Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National
Health Care provider may sue us if we provide you such an unhealthy choice.'
Customer: 'Darn. What do you recommend, then?'
Operator: 'You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it'
Customer: 'What makes you think I'd like something like that?'
Operator: 'Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.'
Customer: 'All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?'
Operator: 'That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99.'
Customer: 'Lemme give you my credit card number.'
Operator: 'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.'
Customer: 'I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.'
Operator: 'That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn.'
Customer: 'Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?'
Operator: 'We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.'
Customer: 'How do you know I'm riding a Harley?'
Operator: 'It says here you were in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it.'
Customer: ' h !'
Operator: 'I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop.'
Customer: (Speechless)
Operator: 'Will there be anything else, sir?'
Customer: 'No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas.'
Operator: 'I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to soon-to-be diabetics.'
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Something to ponder.
ORDERING PIZZA IN THE FUTURE!
Operator: 'Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I help you?'
Customer: 'Hi, I'd like to order.'
Operator: 'May I have your NIDN first, sir?'
Customer: 'My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610.'
Operator: 'Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. And
my machine says you are calling from your home.'
Customer: 'Huh? Yeah, I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?'
Operator: 'We're wired into the national home front protection system, sir.'
Customer: (Sighs) 'Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas. '
Operator: 'I don't think that's a good idea, sir.'
Customer: 'Whaddya mean?'
Operator: 'Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National
Health Care provider may sue us if we provide you such an unhealthy choice.'
Customer: 'Darn. What do you recommend, then?'
Operator: 'You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it'
Customer: 'What makes you think I'd like something like that?'
Operator: 'Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.'
Customer: 'All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?'
Operator: 'That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99.'
Customer: 'Lemme give you my credit card number.'
Operator: 'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.'
Customer: 'I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.'
Operator: 'That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn.'
Customer: 'Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?'
Operator: 'We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.'
Customer: 'How do you know I'm riding a Harley?'
Operator: 'It says here you were in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it.'
Customer: ' h !'
Operator: 'I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop.'
Customer: (Speechless)
Operator: 'Will there be anything else, sir?'
Customer: 'No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas.'
Operator: 'I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to soon-to-be diabetics.'
