My wonderful, sweet handsome FH is driving me INSANE. He just called me up AGAIN & said 'oh, guess who I ran into. I told them about the wedding, they'd love to come.' He has added 12 people in the past week. I THINK I may have to kill him. In looking at the guest list, his FRIENDS now make up 34% of the invitees. The remaining 66% is my family, his family, and my friends. His friends are TAKING OVER.
How do I stop him???? I'm flattered that's he's excited & all but COME ON already! It should be noted that our RH holds 200 people, we are now at 196. He also has no idea how much things cost & has not gotten involved in the planning at ALL. When I told him a few weeks ago how much $ we have to come up with (Dad is giving a donation, the rest is on us), he almost passed out. Yet he keeps adding people!!!!
Thoughts?
EverlovingEv
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heheheh. Get this - my FI's Grandmother invited 13 of her friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This guestlist is ridiculous!!!
Julybride08
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I would just sit him down and explain to him that just cause he sees people once in a while and they want to come, they can't!!! Just explain that you have to pay for every person you invite! And put your foot down. Give him a certain amount of people he can invite and stick to it.
Espo22
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I know what you mean FI is doing the exact same thing. For the wedding we are at over 300...even for the e-party we're at 180 and he invited more people this past week.
EverlovingEv
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Re: Out of control guest list
The trick to this is to tell all family members to keep their mouths shut!!!! The problem with my wedding is that if FMIL, FFIL, FGIL, my mommy, daddy etc... say I'm getting married to anyone, that's already too much info. Some ppl just expect to be invited if they're even told there's a wedding coming up. That's what's happening with my wedding. I've realized this a little too late but now asking all of my family to keep quiet.
kimnsteve
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mine does the same thing !!!!!!! and then they complain when its time to cough up the money ....just dont send out the invites! if they are people that u dont see often im sure they wont even remember
these boys need a reality check !
ama1771
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we know how you feel. while home for turkey day the family added 60 guests
bonniejd
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I feel your pain... FH's parents have a list of 140
nifheim
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FH did that originally when we just started to plan. Then when I told him that if you see someone and you tell them and they say they would love to come just say that is wonderful! Thank you for saying that.. so kind. Then drop it. If you don't see these people more then a few times a year then why invite them? People say 'Oh i would love to come' because what else are you going to say to someone who is engaged? Oh great congrats and thats it?? NO.
Even if he said oh i will invite you and he still doesn't see these people more then a few times a year then DROP THEM. When you do see them again and they mention it simply say unfort. we had reached our limit to who we would invite and regretably we couldn't have you to celebrate our wedding. If they have a problem with it.. who cares because you only see them a few times anyway!
Parents and my Fh's sister (fh's parents are both dead) only were allowed to invite two sets of GOOD friends each. That was it.. your not paying for the wedding then your not inviting people. If parents want to invite more then a few friends then they should pay for it.
good luck!
Unapearla
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Re: Out of control guest list
My FH is doing the same thing! He is inviting everyone, and I mean everyone he knows!
Everytime he adds on more people I just try to remind him how much $$$ we are paying a head.
soon2bmrsdunn
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I had FH add a friend and guest this week and my parents invite friends of theirs. So that's 4 more people add to our over 300 person guest list.
luvabul
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i know how u feel , we have 300 ppl
sit him down calmly and talk to him!!!
October Bliss
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My DH did that after the invites went out and we had a HUGE argument when he insisted these people get invited.
I would sit down with him and go over the actual costs of the wedding so he truly understands that for each person he says he will invite it will cost X amount. Also make sure that he understands that each person is actually two because you can't exclude their spouse from the invitation. Good luck!
jaiese
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Re: Out of control guest list
Yes--everyone will understand if you show some numbers.
Explain to them that every 10 people you invite means $XXX more in meals+$XX more in favors+$XX more in invitations+$XX more for another centerpiece, etc.
The upside to this is that it's nice to see that everyone is so excited. You can also rest assured that (I think) at least 20% of most guest lists RSVP no... Good luck!
Espo22
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FI knows exactly how much it is for every extra person, so no point to sitting him down and explaining it to him.
carolinebr
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Thanks ladies,
I am so glad its not just me! I am already fueding with my mother over the guest list. Now I may have to kill the groom too
EverlovingEv
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Keep in mind that it's not just the extra money you're paying for the RH. It's also an extra centerpiece and those babies are $$$
Espo22
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Posted by EverlovingEv
Keep in mind that it's not just the extra money you're paying for the RH. It's also an extra centerpiece and those babies are $$$
Yup I know, that is why FI doesn't want kids there, people don't realize we're not just paying for them to attend but there will be extra tables which means more centerpieces...Funny thing is that he is the one who stresses out about all this lol
EverlovingEv
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Re: Out of control guest list
Posted by Espo22
Posted by EverlovingEv
Keep in mind that it's not just the extra money you're paying for the RH. It's also an extra centerpiece and those babies are $$$
Yup I know, that is why FI doesn't want kids there, people don't realize we're not just paying for them to attend but there will be extra tables which means more centerpieces...Funny thing is that he is the one who stresses out about all this lol
I don't want kids b/c I just would rather not see them there but if you're going to have kids at your wedding - I'm sure your florist can make a smaller, kid friendly CP to put on their table that'll be less expensive.
eelharas4700
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Re: Out of control guest list
my dad is doing that! i over heard him on the phone with his friend in florida that he talks to once in a while and i havent seen in a few years....and he said 'july 21...can you make it.' i was so mad bc i didnt even have him on my b list!!!
