Overcompensation

So at some point in our relationship, DH made a promise which he did not keep. I of course cried alot and it was not pretty (I am an ugly crier - you know the type that is all huffy and puffy). So now I can't get him to commit to ANYTHING or promise ANYTHING ever. It is really annoying. Today is my brother's bday and I told DH i need to know if he can make it to dinner at 6 cause that is the time my mother wants to make the reservation, and he is all 'maybe' 'i will try, but I can't be sure'.

IT IS SO FREAKIN ANNOYING. A promise breaker is very bad, but never making any commitments or promises may be even worse.

Sounds like DH doesn't want to make any promises bc he doesn't want to get into trouble for breaking them.

Make sure he knows how much trouble he'll be in if he keeps up this behavior of not even trying!!!!!!!!

And if he's not at dinner by 6 o'clock sharp then he shouldn't expect any dessert for a long, LONG time!!!!

For you:

I hate that. I knew someone who used to do that, she was always keeping things iffy in case she got a better offer or just didn't feel like it or something.

Do you think he says that to avoid saying no, or just because he doesn't want to be held responsible if he can't make it?

I feel you.

I've kind of reached the point where I say, 'This is it, with or without you.' Not that I think anyone else should do that but I can't find a better way.

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

I feel you.

I've kind of reached the point where I say, 'This is it, with or without you.' Not that I think anyone else should do that but I can't find a better way.

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I get mad and juvenile. Not the most healthy thing, but it piszes me off.

he has no problem committing to go play hockey though

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Posted by greenfreak

just because he doesn't want to be held responsible if he can't make it?

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this one.

Can you pull this on him, make him see how it feels? Maybe he'll get the picture. Or maybe not. Whatever happens, sorry hon.

My FH holds me extremely accountable for EVERY FREAKIN THING I SAY AND DO!!! So, I do play that sad silly game your hubby plays. I have to because the second I say I am sure of something he throws it in my face if I turn out to be wrong. Life happens and he has no understanding of that. He thinks that if I say I am totally sure of something and I'm wrong then I wasn't totally sure of it! Anyone else find this logic screwed up?

So while your hubby's way of being is very I can kind of understand it. Sometimes there is traffic or I leave later than I meant to or I got caught up or i lost track of the time and being there at exactly 6PM is just hard to do. At least it is that way for me with certain things... Kinda like your hubby. It seems like he and I have some similar bad habits. Yeah, we suuck...... I can never, ever get to work on time but my pilates class? I am so there 5 minutes early! I really do suuck!

This sounds like my DH..he cannot 100% guarantee anything so why make a promise? He *does* honor commitments so I'm not sure where this came from...