I don't know why, but the thought of going bridesmaid dress shopping with everyone is stressing me out. It started off that I would just go with the girls and make it a fun day. Then my mom made a comment a few weeks ago asking if she was invited to come along. Why does she want to come? Can't I just do anything with the girls alone? So I broke down and invited her, but if I invited her I needed to invite FH mother. So I invited her too. I got an email from my FMIL yesterday that she invited my FSIL to join and her daughter who will be my flower girl. I'm stressing. What was supposed to be an easy day is stressing me out. I am also afraid that they think we are doing the mothers dresses too along with the flower girl dress. I think it is much too early for the flower girl dress. AHHHH just needed to vent.
Kimberley2015
Posted:
Member since
overwhelmed
Unfortunately, sometimes the parents and FIL's have a way of crossing the line and you have to just set some boundaries. Although you may not be able to go bridesmaid dress shopping with just the girls maybe you and the girls can go for dinner afterwards. Just a thought. That way you can vent to your ladies maybe over some cocktails = ) Since your FMIL extended an invite to your FSIL and the flower girl I would mention it now that you are going shopping for the bridesmaid dresses only. I know at times wedding planning can be somewhat overwhelming but don't lose your voice. At the end of the day it is your FH and your special day. The fact that you have your mother (who I am sure is just so proud of you and excited and I guess does not want to miss out on anything) and your FMIL (which I am sure feels just the same) just wants to be a part of the planning. However, set your boundaries and let them know its just dresses for the bridesmaid. If you feel shopping now for the flower girl dress is just too soon, say it. As far as the mother's dresses maybe you can suggest making it a day just with them. That way its a little more personably and maybe you can say that is why you wanted to go bridesmaid shopping with just your girls. When are you going shopping anyway for the dresses?
Amanda2022
Posted:
Member since
overwhelmed
Aw I totally understand.... I would want it to just be me and the girls....do you have sisters maybe that's why she wants to come? Try and make the best of it...or maybe suggest that you and the girls just want to have a day together and go for lunch just the bridal party? And before you make any final decisions you'll invite them all along
xBudgetBridex
Posted:
Member since
overwhelmed
I understand how u feel expecting the worst. Im always like that. I went one day when my moh was in from Florida abd my.mom couldn't make it and not all the girls could either. Idk.where u plan on going but maybe u can make a David's bridal appointment just to go with the girls to get a feel for what looks good on them then go really looking where ever u plunged in with you the moms.....I wish I had better advise!! Good luck!
DebOst
Posted:
Member since
overwhelmed
Thanks... unfortunately it is too late to put my foot down for this one... next time I will. It is just getting to be a lot. My mother thinks I am not telling her everything, my FMIL feels she doesn't know anything... I work I'm busy when I make an appt or when we decide on a vendor we share. I didn't realize they wanted to be included in all of the decision making. I am paying for the wedding not them. Just frustrated. Thanks for the advice will definitely be putting my foot down in the future.
Kimberley2015
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Member since
Re: overwhelmed
Posted by DebOst
Thanks... unfortunately it is too late to put my foot down for this one... next time I will. It is just getting to be a lot. My mother thinks I am not telling her everything, my FMIL feels she doesn't know anything... I work I'm busy when I make an appt or when we decide on a vendor we share. I didn't realize they wanted to be included in all of the decision making. I am paying for the wedding not them. Just frustrated. Thanks for the advice will definitely be putting my foot down in the future.
I just want to give you a big hug! Ssssssssqqqqqquuuuueeeeezzzzzzeeeeeee! Trust me when I say I understand. My FIL's are contributing along with myself and my FH. I am the only one on my side contributing to the wedding. My father just started getting better regarding his health and just got a job recently so financially - he just doesn't have it. That being said I feel like I have to step it up a little on my end financially as I really don't want to hear comments. We had a lot of issues with regards to the guest list. I felt with the lack of my family (my father is the only one attending from my side of the famiy) FMIL was overcompensating with hers. At the end of the day FH and I had to keep saying to ourselves this is OUR wedding and people are going to have their opinions about something, however the opinions that should matter the most are the BRIDE AND GROOM. Once you can get that concept down, the rest is smooth sailing. I think after this get together with everyone, maybe you can address a few things. Don't allow this little bump in the road take away from the special moments leading to you and your FH day = )
DebOst
Posted:
Member since
overwhelmed
Thank you :) A conversation is definitely going to happen after this weekend... I'm sorry you FILs are pulling that. We gave each of our parents a number if they wanted more than what we told them then they have to pay for it. I wanted a small wedding, no more than 100 people, now it is turning into a 200 person affair. Hoping for a lot of NOs!! Oye glad I have everybody here to vent to because my friends are sick of hearing it :)
Kimberley2015
Posted:
Member since
Re: overwhelmed
Posted by DebOst
Thank you :) A conversation is definitely going to happen after this weekend... I'm sorry you FILs are pulling that. We gave each of our parents a number if they wanted more than what we told them then they have to pay for it. I wanted a small wedding, no more than 100 people, now it is turning into a 200 person affair. Hoping for a lot of NOs!! Oye glad I have everybody here to vent to because my friends are sick of hearing it :)
We actually came to an understanding. FH and I had to put our foot down. I wanted a small wedding but with my FH's family it was impossible because FMIL was inviting everyone. When we were talking numbers I was inviting 18% of people and I am the one getting married. Therefore FH and I had to set a number and all three parties were limited to a number of seats. It was only fair. I am so thankful for this site. It not only allows you to vent but its comforting to know you are not alone when going through the little hiccups that come along the way sometimes when planning a wedding. Keep us posted of how everything went. P.S. Don't forget despite everything - have fun
