Overwhelmed!!-Need advice

Although I have quite some time ( 19 months, 10 days, 7 hours) till the BIG DAY, between researching, work and studying I am losing it! I think I had a breakdown the other day and I was miserable!! The miserable part was added by talking to the bridesmaid I am not sure if I want her in or not anymore. Anyway, I noticed some of you have been studying for exams, the Bar... How did you handle all this?
I am in the middle of changing my career and I need to get certified before I do anything else to move on. I have been out of school since 98 and its hard, real hard to get focused again. I have been trying to do this for sometime. Now with the wedding and I find any minute to look at this site (its addicting!) or look at mags or whatever else wedding related I can do to replace studying. How have you managed to go through all of this at one time? It will only get worse for me once I have to full force plan. Help!!
Any advice on how to manage everything would really help me. I am definitely taking a break from this site! Thanks in advance.

I am not in school, but I am working 3 jobs, all professional, since my FH went back to school a few months ago. I am planning this with my FH, no help from anyone else. I get stressed out often. With each small detail I accomplish I breathe a bit easier. I give myself one hour each night for research online. Anything I can get done early I am. I do my thinking about details while I commute between jobs.

Give yourself some down time. If you don't, you will be no good to yourself, your FH or anyone else.
Relaxation with quiet music and deep breathing is also something that helps me.

Good luck! Take care of you

I am in school and I do work full time. I just try to focus on my priorities, which is hard with the wedding. But I do what I have to do to get what I need done. Prioritize yourself - allocate time for the wedding and time for school. I know it's hard - especially when you want to concentrate solely on the wedding. But just think after the wedding, you'll have this new certification to be proud of. And you do have a lot of time left still to plan, so not everything has to get done right away.

I changed my career too - so it was a struggle for me to at first adjust, but that happened about a year before I got engaged. And I'm going to school looking to change to better my career.

I try to run and get my stress out that way. Especially when I had a two papers due and I was trying to get my invites out. And then it got frustrating because me and the FH were so busy, we forgot to spend intimate time together. So we arranged a date or two and that was something to look forward to and helped me focus anticipating our date.

I don't know what else to tell you. Just breathe and know that it won't always be like this, but don't forget to stop and enjoy it. Sometimes, I just stare at my e-ring and remember how much it is worth it. Marrying the man that I love on the most perfect day and eventually working in a career that I love!

I feel for you! I think Diana is right, you need to compartmentalize things. Get organized with a list of things you need to accomplish, make folders for each area of the wedding and make a schedule. Give yourself a certain amount of time to do wedding things each day or week so it is something you look forward to, a break from work/school. If you are a control freak like me, it is hard to imagine asking other people for help but that is also an important part. And you should also be proud of yourself for your professional and academic accomplishments - it is an investment in your future with your husband and potential children. THis is such a crazy time of life, stuck between being young and being grown up! But it is also an amazing time of change and growth. I just try to be thankful everyday (then I freak out about how stressed I am ) And we are all here to support each other!

Wanda,

I have a long time to (14 mos from now, 19 mos from when I get engaged) and I was overwhelmed at first, too. I was just complaining last night that I thought it would be more fun than it is and that sometimes it feels like work

I sat down two months ago and made a list of all of the things that I needed to do. Then I made list of the months I had left and started to filling in when I thought I needed to do what. May is my month for booking a dj so that has been my recent stress producer! But looking into everything at once is crazy!!!

You have plenty of time, so put yourself on a schedule and stick to it.

Good luck

Becky

Don't Worry -- What you're going through is pretty normal -- it happened to me!

The first month or two of wedding planning had me so stressed -- Me & my FI were ready to kill each other. Welcome to 'Stage 1' of wedding planning... Right now I'm sure you feel like there are a million & 1 things to do, a billion decisions to make, all with a budget that you become increasingly positive won't cover it all, with absolutely no room for error since this is THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF YOUR LIFE --> and of course all this stress comes on top of the normal grief of everyday life!

There's some people out there who are not type 'A' about their wedding & just go with the flow... but most of them don't spend their day in wedding chat rooms.. I'm sure most, if not all of the other brides here have felt the same as you -- unless they're independantly wealthy & have hired a top rate wedding coordinator.

All I can say is that, once you knock out the big stuff (reception, church, dress, photographer, florist & DJ/band..) you'll start to relax a little. You've got plenty of time - just take this one step at a time. This isn't life & death -- at the end of the day -- you're planning a party. Every other bride has gotten through this & so will you! Me & my FI knocked out most of the 'big stuff' early on (we got engaged 11 mo before the wedding date), so now I'm pretty ahead of schedule. I haven't done any wedding stuff for over a month -- but now with less than 4 months to go (my wedding is 9/21) -- I've got to start tackling all the little stuff (favors, programs, keeping up with the vendor bills). Taking a break was great for both of us.

If I had one piece of advice it'd be to get organized and stay that way -- it'll help give you a sense of control that can be comforting. Make a general schedule (I started with the checklist on the knot and customized it) that way you know you don't have to get everything done immediately. And remember -- keep all of this wedding stuff in check. Realize eveything won't go perfectly according to plan -- you can only do your best. At least with the boards you can get great advice and save yourself some grief by learning from other people's experiences.

Good luck!

THANKS EVERYONE!!

I realized that I can't do all at once-that is one of my bad traits I want it all NOW!!! Can you tell I am impatient??
The schedule is the one thing I have to do. I made a study schedule, who cares about the job schedule. I go with that flow as the projects come up. I hate my job. I am only here for the money and I have no interest in it anymore. As far as wedding schedule, I have a copy of the knot schedule I created so I can go based on that. We did book the place and spoke to my priest so we are okay with those two things. I will wait off on the rest of the wedding to do's till after the summer. By that point I will have everything in control. What does everyone suggest as far as booking next? I am thinking photographer and video. I found the dress which my mom thinks I am whacky for already looking for one. But I think its the one! I just hope by the end of the fall it will still be in stock. Anyhow, thanks all for your help. I feel more at ease now. Its really nice this board is around! Good Luck to all on your wedding planning!