overwhelming fear.. sorry, long and a little bleak

ok, so its 3:50 am and i am wide awake again because i cant get this re-occurring fear out of my head. i dont know if the blackout triggered it or what, but on and off since 9/11 i will have a gripping fear of something happening to my FH. he was working in midtown that day and thankfully came home safe very late that night after waiting all day to hear from him. its so stupid but i keep having these horrible thoughts of him being trapped in the city and i cant talk to him or get to him. he's downtown now in the stock exchange which makes me nervous since its like a landmark and i'm worried everyday about it. when we had the blackout, he made it on the LIRR about 5 stops from home so i was able to pick him up since he called as soon as the train lost power. but when our cell phones went out 5 minutes later and i couldnt call him or find him in the mass at the train station and i got so scared.
does anyone else have these fears or am i just crazy? i have lost a few people whom i was really close to in the past few years very suddenly so maybe it adds to my worries. has anyone had this problem? how did you overcome it? it hasnt bothered me like this in a while.

HI!! Im awake too!! I can kind of relate too to what you are going through. My fiance is a head foreman for a demolition company. A few years ago a very close friend of mine was killed, he was a volunteer fireman and worked for the town doing construction..without going into grahic details, he was suddenly killed. So anyhow, teh closer I get to my wedding, the more I keep feeling like something bad is going to happen. Its wierd, what comforts me is my sister went through the same thing when she was getting married. September 11th was also a harsh wakeup call. I dont have any advice for you unfortunately, I guess just try and take it one day at a time. Its hard I know. The other day I had asick feeling, I called my fiance ..he didnt asnwer..he called me back and had told me he was on some rope dangling like 20 feet in the air, or something crazy like that. So the I sat and worried all day.
I cant sleep rght now either..just under alot of stress lately~

aliciahelene,
yeah the stress from everything else isn't helping my insomnia. my FH is an electrician and he calls me friday from the job all excited and tells me all day he would be using this elevator that was built in the stone age, sometime around when the building was first built. anyway he had to take this thing, that was originally made to carry ashes when the building ran on coal, to the bottom of the stock exchange 4 floors below ground. i'm a nervous wreck, literally sick to my stomach all day, worrying we'll have another power failure and he'll be stuck on this thing or worse! i swear i am starting to lose hair and go gray with all of these fears.
you're right, though, i should take it one day at a time. problem is i spend the whole **** day worrying. i guess once work starts again, i'm a teacher, my mind will have more to do than worry. thanks for the reply. good luck sleeping!

Im laughing right now because my fiance has the same crazy stories with busted up elevators. He thinks its funny, and I panic. GREAT!!! I hope that once school starts for you, you will be able to put your mind at ease somewhat. Try and get some rest!!!
How far away is you wedding? My sister would get stressed thinking something bad would happen to her fiance also, maybe this is normal if you are already really stressed to begin with. Im sure not everyone does this, but Im sure there are a few who do.

You are NOT crazy. I was in NYC on 9/11 and my husband was in San Francisco on a business trip. It was probably one of the most tramatic days in all of our lives. He couldn't really get a hold of me for most of the day, and then he was stuck in CA for almost 5 days. Then when that plane when down in Queens he was away again. I felt the panic all over again. I used to love to fly and travel but since that day I am much more afraid, as are many of us, and when DH goes out of town on business I live in a hightened state of panic the whole time.
Working in NYC is the hardest thing I do, but in this economy there is little choice. Luckily (in some ways I say lucky) I have a pregnancy related problem so I cannot do the commute and my boss allows me to work from home now. If I had been in NYC the day of the black out I would not have ever gone back again. I am just not the 'we will not leave' type person. I don't like it much already so I have no problem staying on my little island.
Anyway, I think many of us never thought of our FH/DH just not coming home before 9/11 and then the Media played all the 'last' phone calls over and over and over again, books were written detailing those last moments, we heard the stories, watched the images, and all we could do is say 'what if that was me?'. I thank God everyday that it wasn't me and we just have no choice but to move on.
I would suggest that there are short-term therapists that help people with post-tramatic stresses. That might be able to help you put this a bit further away into the past. Of course, I do not take my own advise but....what else is new?

My DH is a cop in the city. I do get nervous about it sometimes, but if I let the fear consume our lives that would mean these terrorists have won, and I WILL NOT LET THAT HAPPEN.

I am from a cop family and knew there were different dangers associated with his job that other jobs do not have, but I guess growing up with it makes it a bit easier for me to deal with.

Of coarse after 9/11 it changed in that what they dealt with than is not the 'norm' for their jobs, or was not up until that point. Now, who knows what they will have to deal with.

Like Michelle said though, just traveling can put anyone at risk. I have always been afraid to fly, now even more so, but I make sure I do it, again because the whole point of terrorism is not only to kill innocent people, but to scare everyone and change our lives, and I just do not want them to win.