oye what have I gotten myself into

So last week I was saying how it was bothering me that I wasn't getting married at a Catholic church.

I spoke to a Catholic church in the area, and they said they would let us get married there. I'm not really sure what to do though...initially they had said that our Reverend could take part in the ceremony, but now they said no.

We feel so comfortable with our Reverend, that I really cannot imagine 'firing' him. I want him to be there.

Pros of getting married in the Church: We're getting the church wedding that we want.

Cons: Our Reverend won't be there, the start time would be 2PM, so there would be a 3.5 hour gap between the ceremony and the reception. We'd need to pay all our vendors to come earlier.

We could just have a convalidation (wedding made official in the eyes of the Catholic Church) at a later date.

I felt pretty good about this, but now that I know that it's an option to switch to a Church, I'm torn again. What would you do? I'm losing my mind.

Gosh Jen, this is really really tough. What do you REALLY want to do? Is it that important for you to get married in church? If yes, than go for it. It just seems like it would be a big inconvenience to change things now, no?

Jen if it was me I would get married in the church- but it is something that you and FH have to feel right about.
You can always do a church ceremony afterward if you dont want to change vendor times and inconvience your guests

Can you have two weddings? First get married in a Catholic church...then do some sort of renewel of vows at the RH? You can just do it a few days before so its not like you've been married 5 months already.

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Posted by SummerBride10

Can you have two weddings? First get married in a Catholic church...then do some sort of renewel of vows at the RH? You can just do it a few days before so its not like you've been married 5 months already.

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I agree with Colleen. You can do the church wedding here so people don't have to travel for it and then have your big wedding with a vow renewal as planned.

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

sounds like you really want that church wedding ... can you find another church that WOULD allow this Rev. to marry you?

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Nopeee, we knew that he couldn't actually 'marry' us. But it was originally an option that he could participate in the ceremony in other ways, but now that isn't a possibility.

I think your Reverend would understand if you told him you wanted to get married at a church. He knows the church's rules.

It seems like you're going to regret not getting married there so i say go for it and have your Reverend do a vow renewal or a blessing. A blessing on your marriage could really be heartfelt bc he's so important to to you.

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Posted by KM714

Jen, did you try St. Mary's down in Branford, right near the green? i went to 2 weddings there and one of them, the priest from my college (in MA) was able to officiate. great picture area too with the library across the street.

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Yep, that's the church I spoke to.

aww I'm sorry its not working out with St. Marys. I do know another church in Branford but its not as nice looking and its much smaller, I could look up their info if you wanted to talk to another priest.

Either way, I think you should do what you and your FH want. If you really want a church wedding, figure out a way to do it, maybe like Colleen suggested.

Let me know if you want the name of the other church.

the catholilc church wedding is more inconvenient but if when you look back on it in 10 years, are you going to say, 'im am still upset that we had 3.5 hours between the ceremony and the reception' or are you going to say 'i wish i had gotten married in a church'?

is it getting married in a church that's important or is it having your marriage recognized by them? it sounds like its the latter in your post, so maybe you should just do the convalidation.