Parenting advice (unwanted)

Emmasmom Posted: Oct 26, 2003 12:58 PM

Parenting advice (unwanted)

I haven't posted since my wedding review last December (I was deb then and am now Emmas mom, born 7/28/03). We had her baptism this weekend and have lots of family in town. Many of these family members, feel the need to give lots of unwanted advice and criticize my parenting skills ('maybe you shouldn't do that or maybe you should do this.') How am I to respond to this, especially to my mother in law who is staying in my house for 4 days? HELP!! It is driving me crazy.

michele31 Posted: Oct 26, 2003 01:32 PM

Re: Parenting advice (unwanted)

You never invite your MIL to stay at your house again

No, seriously you just say 'I appreciate your advise.' and walk away. period. If your MIL keeps it up just say to her 'I am sure you can remember how much you disliked people telling you how to raise your children. DH and I are making our own decisions. I promise if I feel that I need help I will ask you' and walk away.

Please remind me that I said this in a few months! I am sure I will be very sick of hearing all of the advise very soon.

kptoys Posted: Oct 26, 2003 01:32 PM

Re: Parenting advice (unwanted)

Listen to them. Say thanks for the advice. Then do what you want. YOU ARE HER MOTHER AND YOU MAKE DECISIONS! Good luck, I wish you strength.

NovemberSue Posted: Oct 26, 2003 02:29 PM

Re: Parenting advice (unwanted)

I would just thank them for the advice and do what you want. That would annoy the heck out of me too.

Claud2001 Posted: Oct 26, 2003 04:25 PM

Re: Parenting advice (unwanted)

I never got too upset about people offering advice when Paul was a newborn b/c I was so new at the whole thing. I actually listened to what some of the different opinions were, and then picked and chose which I thought might work for Paul or be helpful to me.

MIL's can be a pain, but they can be helpful sometimes too. Instead of criticizing your MIL for her advice, maybe you can use the time that she is with you wisely, and have her babysit so that you and DH can have a nice dinner out without the baby! (How's that for a positive spin?)

Emmasmom Posted: Oct 26, 2003 05:57 PM

Re: Parenting advice (unwanted)

thanks for putting a posotive spin on it. i always see the glass as half empty. I guess its about time that I start seeing it as half full. Its just that sometimes I can be selfish and want my darling daughter all to my self. I just cant help it.

Claud2001 Posted: Oct 26, 2003 09:44 PM

Re: Parenting advice (unwanted)

Having DD all to yourself is so understandable...you're a new Mommy!!

jlf41 Posted: Oct 26, 2003 10:02 PM

Re: Parenting advice (unwanted)

As soon as I saw that screen name, I knew it was you!! The christening was great, I have a few funny family stories to tell you. I figured the in-laws were staying there, that is your first mistake! Why don't they stay at the mansion by the sea?? Thank g*d they live in FL.

You will love the parenting board - great women here.

Love you cuz.

Elizabeth Posted: Oct 26, 2003 10:11 PM

Re: Parenting advice (unwanted)

I guess I've been lucky, I didnt get too much unwanted advice...or maybe I looked at it like Claud, taking what was helpful and leaving the rest. My Mom is my biggest advice giver and she tends to repeat her advice ad nauseum. Her latest thing is that we give the baby (my son is 12 mths) too much freedom, we should put him in the play yard more, that I could get more done during the day. DH & I like having a different perspective so I listen to what she said..actually thought about if there was any merit to it, and do what we think is best. She does ultimately respect our choices thank goodness.

Welcome to the Parenting board and congrats on your little girl. I hope we will see you on here often and would love to hear more about Emma.

jenny11.9 Posted: Oct 27, 2003 07:54 AM

Re: Parenting advice (unwanted)

The MIL thing...ugh...we've all got one, don't we...

I am dreading this, though my MIL is really wonderful. I just know there will be sidelong glances and a lot of her shaking her head. But I plan on keeping a cool head because she's the only built in baby-sitter I've got!

Welcome to our board! Let's see Emma!!!!

And I got your FM - I will send it to LIweddings to edit the birthday post (I am not allowed to edit the pinned lists.)