Parents adding their OWN guests to the list

So, something that's REALLY buggin me this past week is ... my Dad and his idea of WHO he's inviting to our wedding. I must say that he is paying for the bulk of the reception, so there's that to consider. HOWEVER, he's inviting college buddies / childhood friends he hasn't seen or talked to in years.. and I mean since like 1987. He's also inviting neighbors just because he was invited to their daughter's baby shower. (Ummm hello???)

I wanted this to be an intimate wedding with just family and our closest friends. Now, it's ballooned to over 200 people.

Do I make a big deal about it and fight for what I want, or let it slide and pick and choose my battles with dad?

The reception hall holds 200 and we are up to 205 invited

ETA: OOH! I just thought - what if I SECRETLY make all of Dad's guests B-list and mail out their invites a little later? It's that bad?

That's always a hard situation... IMO I feel that while it's your day and your wedding, it's also a huge day for them that they want to share with people. So I'd say especially if he's covering their cost to let this battle go. I let both our parents invite who they felt were imortant to be there (even though I didn't know some) and neither contributed to costs at all.

Other girls may disagree with me though..

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Posted by 08JulyBride

That's always a hard situation... IMO I feel that while it's your day and your wedding, it's also a huge day for them that they want to share with people. So I'd say especially if he's covering their cost to let this battle go. I let both our parents invite who they felt were imortant to be there (even though I didn't know some) and neither contributed to costs at all.

Other girls may disagree with me though..

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i agree, we let both parents invite whomever they wanted, eventhough they were not paying the bill.

I guess you should know that I'm STUBBORN, hard-nosed and hot-headed lots of times. My mother calls me high-strung. I guess this is just one of those things that's eating away at me, and the more I think of it, the more it bothers me! Dang-it to my stooooopid personality!

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Posted by misswitty

So, something that's REALLY buggin me this past week is ... my Dad and his idea of WHO he's inviting to our wedding. I must say that he is paying for the bulk of the reception, so there's that to consider. HOWEVER, he's inviting college buddies / childhood friends he hasn't seen or talked to in years.. and I mean since like 1987. He's also inviting neighbors just because he was invited to their daughter's baby shower. (Ummm hello???)

I wanted this to be an intimate wedding with just family and our closest friends. Now, it's ballooned to over 200 people.

Do I make a big deal about it and fight for what I want, or let it slide and pick and choose my battles with dad?

The reception hall holds 200 and we are up to 205 invited

ETA: OOH! I just thought - what if I SECRETLY make all of Dad's guests B-list and mail out their invites a little later? It's that bad?

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He's paying a bulk of the wedding, so I would let him invite some people. I would maybe pass a comment that you are over your 200 mark and ask who on his list is most important to invite and ask if you can B list some people - LOL. The college buddy list...they may decline anyway. And maybe most of his list will. He's just proud of your marriage and wants to share. As frustrating as it can be...he may not be aware of how you feel. I would subtly make comments to let him know. And def pick and chose your battles. If it comes down to it...def B list them so you don't hurt his feelings...but beware that if he speaks to them...he prob ask if they RSVPed yet.

HTH