Parents Gifts... Need Help~

Hi girls,
I'm going over the numbers for the wedding and I was thinking about whether or not we need to buy our parents gifts. Here's the situation... My parents are helping us out big time. I would say they are covering about 2/3 of the cost of the wedding. FI and I are picking up the rest. FI's parents on the other hand aren't giving us anything towards the wedding and if the e-party gift is any indication of their generosity we won't be getting much. In addition, they don't even show any interest in our wedding. They never ask how the planning is going. Heck they never even seemed excited about the fact that we're even getting married. For our e-party they were originally supposed to come out (from the mid-west where they just moved to a year ago) and stay here for the summer. Last minute they decide they're only coming for a week and they left early morning on FATHER'S DAY!!! These parents have 7 children that they are close to and they had been gone for a year! I know FI's sisters were so upset but they were insistant they only stay for a week. At this point $$ is tight and I definitely feel FI's parents don't deserve gifts but on the other hand I think mine do. Do you think it's fair to give my parents something and not his? If so, when do I give them their gifts? I plan to give the BP their gifts at the rehearsal dinner. I would feel funny giving the BP their gifts and then my parents their gifts while FI's family/parents are watching on... Then I thought, since my parents aren't covering the whole thing (which I may add is FINE!!!) should I forego getting them anything? What do you think I should do?

Thanks!!!

ETA: I forgot to mention that we are already getting each parent their parent albums and their own professional copy of the wedding DVD.

Sorry, honey, but I do feel even though they are not contributing, they are FI's parents and they should get something, even if it's something small. Sorry to hear of this situation, it's never an easy one, but I always felt it's better to give, they'll be around for awhile and I'm sure there will be more promient battles to fight in the future.

Good luck, sweetie!

i say get both parents something definitely but maybe your parents a better gift

most people give albums to the parents. maybe give your parents a gift certificate as well or something.
fh should agree with you - if his parents are cheap he should understand why you want to give more to yours

I'm in the same situation. I have the parent albums ordered and figured that would be Fiance's parent gift. But those aren't ready until months later....

I know its hard b/c you don't want to be rude, but at the same time they haven't helped much either... something small or handmade might be a nice gesture... i'm stilll trying to think of a good idea...

I'm in the same situation and although I truly feel like FH's parents should get exactly what they are giving us - NOTHING, I know that I have to get them something. However, I am thinking that I might just give them their album as their gift. My parents on the other hand, I intend on giving them their album plus something else....not so much bc they are paying for so much of the wedding but because they are involved in the planning, interested in our decisions, etc. and FH's parents don't seem to care at all. THat is what bothers me the most about the whole situation.

i feel as though you do not need to get both set of parents gifts. (that is if you FH agrees)

i also do not think that you need to give them their gift before your wedding along with the BP @ rehersal.. I think once you get back from your honeymoon and money is more settled - do something nice for them then. or buy them something really nice then.

if your parents are busting their hump to make your day perfect and his parents are not - why do they get to reap the same rewards??

plus - doing it after the wedding - will be more discreet and less chance of feud and/ or hurt feelings by his parents.

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Posted by mtdr1106

i feel as though you do not need to get both set of parents gifts. (that is if you FH agrees)

i also do not think that you need to give them their gift before your wedding along with the BP @ rehersal.. I think once you get back from your honeymoon and money is more settled - do something nice for them then. or buy them something really nice then.

if your parents are busting their hump to make your day perfect and his parents are not - why do they get to reap the same rewards??

plus - doing it after the wedding - will be more discreet and less chance of feud and/ or hurt feelings by his parents.

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That's a good idea. I never thought of giving them their gifts after the wedding...

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Posted by Jennie0898

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Posted by mtdr1106

i feel as though you do not need to get both set of parents gifts. (that is if you FH agrees)

i also do not think that you need to give them their gift before your wedding along with the BP @ rehersal.. I think once you get back from your honeymoon and money is more settled - do something nice for them then. or buy them something really nice then.

if your parents are busting their hump to make your day perfect and his parents are not - why do they get to reap the same rewards??

plus - doing it after the wedding - will be more discreet and less chance of feud and/ or hurt feelings by his parents.

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That's a good idea. I never thought of giving them their gifts after the wedding...

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its better for you too - lets you financially recover from your wedding. It also may surprise your parents.


good luck........