past bride has a small dilemma ...need advice-long

july06bride Posted: Apr 02, 2007 09:34 PM

past bride has a small dilemma ...need advice-long

Past bride needs advice!

My first anniversary is July 1st
My friend is getting married July 1st in Cape Cod

She did NOT attend my bridal shower and did not attend my wedding. She is from Mass, but is living in Cali now- technically she could have come to my wedding, but she had another friend getting married the same day and said she didn't want to choose whose wedding to go to, so she decided not to go to either wedding. Fine...

Now, I am unable to attend her bridal shower and her bachelorette party (the same day) the day before Easter- My bday is April 6th, dh is April 5th and we booked a short cruise to celebrate.

Dh travels for his job- so she assumed that we would be unable to come to her wedding- but we found out that DH and I will be in NY during the time period of her wedding, however we planned to go on vacation for our anniversary. She mentioned today, OH you will be in NY so you think you are coming to the wedding? I didn't know what to say, because basically I don't think we are going to go...We plan on being on vacation-
Going away another time is not really an option, because DH only gets a certain amount of time, plus, we really want to be away for our anniversary.

Should I give in-and not go on vacation and go to her wedding?

Should I do what we really want and go away?

Lemons Posted: Apr 02, 2007 09:43 PM

Re: past bride has a small dilemma ...need advice-long

DON'T GIVE IN! You go away and celebrate your first anniversary! (after all, it only happens once). You have to make yourself happy and THEN worry about making others happy!

kflan75 Posted: Apr 02, 2007 09:44 PM

Re: past bride has a small dilemma ...need advice-long

do what is good for you and your DH!!! not what the bride to be expects!!

daniebc16 Posted: Apr 02, 2007 09:48 PM

Re: past bride has a small dilemma ...need advice-long

GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!

july06bride Posted: Apr 02, 2007 10:09 PM

Re: past bride has a small dilemma ...need advice-long

should i just be honest and tell her we are going away? I feel terrible, but part of me thinks that if it were the opposite way around she would go away for her anniversary too

the future mrs m Posted: Apr 02, 2007 10:25 PM

Re: past bride has a small dilemma ...need advice-long

do what makes you happy

mrsh2b Posted: Apr 02, 2007 11:06 PM

Re: past bride has a small dilemma ...need advice-long

Go away! But, I would mention that the Cape is a great place to go in the summer for vacation so you could make a vacay out of that and stop in at the wedding. Just throwing that out there! But do what makes you happy!

RGV07 Posted: Apr 02, 2007 11:07 PM

Re: past bride has a small dilemma ...need advice-long

i would say go away, who cares about her,,,,celebrate

MrsStefan Posted: Apr 02, 2007 11:13 PM

Re: past bride has a small dilemma ...need advice-long

I would go away!!! It is your FIRST Anniversary!! It only happens once, and she did not come to your wedding. You can still send a gift and let her know that you are happy for her and her fiance. Enjoy your time together and go away!! You and your DH have been through so much with your move that you deserve to spend time time together and forget all of your stress.

snydl40 Posted: Apr 02, 2007 11:43 PM

Re: past bride has a small dilemma ...need advice-long

Nope-do what you planned-go on vacation. Tell her you are unable to attend.

Audreygirl Posted: Apr 03, 2007 09:06 AM

Re: past bride has a small dilemma ...need advice-long

Ditto with everyone else - go away (do what you originally wanted to do). Now that I'm married I have a whole other appreciation of celebrating a first anniversary since it only happens once.

Katie&Chris2006 Posted: Apr 03, 2007 09:10 AM

Re: past bride has a small dilemma ...need advice-long

Posted by MrsStefan

I would go away!!! It is your FIRST Anniversary!! It only happens once, and she did not come to your wedding. You can still send a gift and let her know that you are happy for her and her fiance. Enjoy your time together and go away!! You and your DH have been through so much with your move that you deserve to spend time time together and forget all of your stress.

I wholeheartedly agree.

rkl1130 Posted: Apr 03, 2007 09:10 AM

Re: past bride has a small dilemma ...need advice-long

Do what you need to do. Celebrate your first anniversary and vacation...especially since it's hard for you both to schedule vacations. Enjoy yourselves!

Smiles111 Posted: Apr 03, 2007 09:11 AM

Re: past bride has a small dilemma ...need advice-long

I wouldn't stress about trying to attend her wedding at all.

And yeah, just be honest with her. You're not doing anything wrong.

KRISTYRUSSELL Posted: Apr 03, 2007 09:16 AM

Re: past bride has a small dilemma ...need advice-long

I would go away on your anniversary vacation, but you have to do what you feel is right.........

Kara and Todd Posted: Apr 03, 2007 09:18 AM

Re: past bride has a small dilemma ...need advice-long

Posted by july06bride

should i just be honest and tell her we are going away? I feel terrible, but part of me thinks that if it were the opposite way around she would go away for her anniversary too

Absolutely. Just tell her, 'I'm really, but we're going away to celebrate our first anniversary - it's the only time DH can get off work to go and we already booked the vacation.'

Go celebrate your first anniversary!