People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

nifheim Posted: Nov 10, 2008 10:17 PM

People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

Being the old married lady of 8 months now I am starting to get the question asked. I just don't get it so I have a ring so now I must procreate? Seriously it was cute at first and now it is a nightmare.

I get well you two are not young when do you think your going to have kids when your both in your late 40's? Dh is 36 but I am 29 we have a two bedroom apt and both of us are not financially sound as much as we would like to be for when we do have a kid. Then I get will my mom watches my kid or I watch my grandkids - WELL GOOD FOR YOU! My mom and dad retired and want to enjoy it and yes babysitting every so often is fine but they are not spending 5 days a week, 8 hours a day of their lives on our kid.

In a week it has been FIVE times by different people asking me. I tell my mom and she is livid! I mean what happened to enjoying being a couple together alone for at least a few years?

I know all of us have posted this a number of times but what the hell is wrong with people? I am starting to be nasty when I answer - so PLEASE tell me what you say!

lucamon Posted: Nov 10, 2008 10:27 PM

Re: People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

When people ask me I simply tell them in a few years. And that is the truth.
Don't feel bad. You're not old.I'm older. I'll be 31 in 2 months. We can't afford to have kids right now. We need both incomes to survive on LI. My mom can't baby sit for us because of her health. Both our dads are diceased. His mom is still working. So... it'll be awhile till we're ready financially.

MrsJ08 Posted: Nov 11, 2008 01:00 AM

Re: People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

I get that too and its only 2 months we are married!! DH is 33 and wants to start after one yr...I want to wait a little longer...I tell ppl that right now im enjoying married life !! I agree it can be sooo annoying!! some of them say oh you might have problems you shouldnt wait so long lol...its like leave me alone and mind your business!!

Kricket212 Posted: Nov 11, 2008 08:15 AM

Re: People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

Do what you guys want & who cares what else people say.

I would just say.......I will let you know when the time comes & end the conversation.

Future Mulligan Posted: Nov 11, 2008 08:56 AM

Re: People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

we are YOUNG but we've been living together for a few years and we are getting married in about a month and people have already started with the baby comments! its funny b/c i thought that since we are still young it wouldn't come up but i guess family is excited and obviously kids are going to be the next big that happens after the wedding but i know that people can be rude about it....

just tell them you aren't even sure if you want kids maybe that will get people to stop asking? there is a couple in our family and the rumor is that they don't plan on having kids and once that got around people totally stopped asking them - they kind of avoid it actually but who knows, they could just be saying that so people don't bother them about it....which i kind of have a feeling may be the case and if it is - its totally working!

futuremrsfab Posted: Nov 11, 2008 09:06 AM

Re: People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

we have been getting it since we got engaged- a lot of dh's friends have kids and they keep telling us to hurry up I used to think it was funny- now it annoys the crap out of me- I mean what if I couldnt have kids & these people asked me everytime we saw them- people should think- but they dont.

I am sorry you have to deal with this stupidity!

kristi313 Posted: Nov 11, 2008 10:07 AM

Re: People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

we get this all the time too - i just say when it happens it happens, we'll let you know lol

GinaZ Posted: Nov 11, 2008 10:20 AM

Re: People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

I know how you feel! I even had a couple people ask me if i was pregnant or going to get pregnant before the wedding!!!! I was like ummm let me get married first please! And people are asking me allllll the time when Im having a baby! And Im like ummmm DH and I can hardly afford our rent, let alone a child! It has gottena little old....

yelley77 Posted: Nov 11, 2008 10:20 AM

Re: People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

That is what happens... you get the e-ring, they want to know when the wedding is.... you get the wedding ring, they want to know when the first baby is coming.... you have the first baby they want to know when you are going to give 'it' a brother or sister...

It never ends.

florezpeeps Posted: Nov 11, 2008 10:47 AM

Re: People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

i've been with dh for 9 yrs.so i get this from my family..a lot..

i always say to the person that brings it up 'whenever you are ready to pay for everything for a baby for me, let me know because we can't right now'

that usually kills the subject

futuremrsfab Posted: Nov 11, 2008 11:24 AM

Re: People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

Posted by florezpeeps

i've been with dh for 9 yrs.so i get this from my family..a lot..

i always say to the person that brings it up 'whenever you are ready to pay for everything for a baby for me, let me know because we can't right now'

that usually kills the subject

thats awesome- I am totally stealing that! And thats totally what it is- it is so expensive (both time & money) to raise a kid & we just cant offer either now

Future Mulligan Posted: Nov 11, 2008 11:47 AM

Re: People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

Posted by yelley77

That is what happens... you get the e-ring, they want to know when the wedding is.... you get the wedding ring, they want to know when the first baby is coming.... you have the first baby they want to know when you are going to give 'it' a brother or sister...

It never ends.

exactly its just the natural order of things

Lori-Chris2008 Posted: Nov 11, 2008 02:40 PM

Re: People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

We got it the NIGHT OF OUR WEDDING!!! LOL

I just say 'we are on a three year plan' :)..

Honestly or when they are not satisfied with that answer i say 'well if you want them so bad then why don't you have them'?...

I have no patience for annoying rude ppl lol

FutureMrsCarrieri Posted: Nov 11, 2008 03:27 PM

Re: People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

I got one of those comments in one of my wedding cards! Holy!

I just smile and tell people, 'That's why I have to leave early today -- I'm trying to conceive'

They don't know what to say after that.

agraydc Posted: Nov 11, 2008 04:24 PM

Re: People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

i started getting asked that before the wedding......even my mother said we could start trying in june before the wedding cuz i probably wouldnt start to show til at least 3 to 4 months

OMG!!! why cant people just be happy we are married and will start a family when we are ready!!!!!!!

i started telling people, maybe after we buy a house, we really want a stable environment set before we get pregnant and that seems to work

pa56 Posted: Nov 11, 2008 04:28 PM

Re: People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

I feel your pain. At my bridal shower, my grandmother asks 'so when's the baby shower?' I wasn't even married yet!!

PreshusSmurf Posted: Nov 11, 2008 05:09 PM

Re: People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

DH's latest answer to this question:

'When YOU sponsor us'

simbaspaws Posted: Nov 11, 2008 05:36 PM

Re: People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

Sorry crashing...I love it when people ask me and I cannot wait to get there. Honestly we are not 100% stable at this point, but my parents were not either..things work themselves out and children are a blessing and not a burden imo. I cannot wai to be a stay at home mom.... ..the sooner the better after the wedding

jessnstu08 Posted: Nov 11, 2008 06:21 PM

Re: People asking 'When are you having kids' it has finally started VENT

Posted by simbaspaws

Sorry crashing...I love it when people ask me and I cannot wait to get there. Honestly we are not 100% stable at this point, but my parents were not either..things work themselves out and children are a blessing and not a burden imo. I cannot wai to be a stay at home mom.... ..the sooner the better after the wedding

That's nice that you feel that way, but it is rude to ask someone when they are having kids . what if they ... GASP... don't want any children . or they are unable to have children. Or they feel that there is more to life then being a stay at home mom. Kids are a blessing when you want them .

when people ask me ( and they do ) I say when we are ready .