What do you do when people just assume they are guests at the wedding, but you were not planning on inviting them? Are you obligated to invite your siblings in laws? What would you do, if they told your FH that they can't wait for the big day?
JLWSJC
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Re: People who assume they are guests at your Wedding
I'd probably consider inviting my brothers and sisters' in-laws if they said something about the wedding depending on how many of them there are... if it's just MIL and FIL of one or two siblings, I'd def put them on the list. I don't think I'd invite their BIL's and SIL;s though unoless I knew them well.
jwleewedding
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Re: People who assume they are guests at your Wedding
it really depends on how close to them you are and how your headcount is currently. if you need more fillers, then sure, invite them, but if you're completely maxed out, then i wouldn't, esp if i wasn't close to them
anszusterman
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Re: People who assume they are guests at your Wedding
I am inviting (see if you can follow this) FH's sister's husband's brother's wife's mother and brother....bc FMIL says 'They're family'! If you know it will cause a problem if you don't invite, you should probably invite them.
JLWSJC
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Re: People who assume they are guests at your Wedding
Posted by anszusterman
I am inviting (see if you can follow this) FH's sister's husband's brother's wife's mother and brother....bc FMIL says 'They're family'! If you know it will cause a problem if you don't invite, you should probably invite them.
LOL, that's some tree!! But I agree with the causing problems thing. And hey, if someone who is techincally 'Family' is excited enough to ask about being invited or to say they can't wait, then I don't see a problem. There will be people who RSVP no to make up for it.
rendel
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Re: People who assume they are guests at your Wedding
what if it made your mother uncomfortable?
FutureJOC
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Re: People who assume they are guests at your Wedding
I actually had this problem myself - not that they assume they are invited but that I was unsure about whether or not to invite my brother's IL's. I just asked him and he said not to bother.
futurestevens
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Re: People who assume they are guests at your Wedding
Posted by rendel
what if it made your mother uncomfortable?
what do you mean? your mother has issues with your siblings in-laws?
also- what did your sibling say about it?
JLWSJC
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Re: People who assume they are guests at your Wedding
Posted by rendel
what if it made your mother uncomfortable?
Mmmmmm.... I guess that's a consideration, everyone's family dynamic is different which is why these questions are so hard to advise on.... In that case, I probably wouldn't but then it would be up to my bro/sis to explain to the inlaws (since we have the same uncomfortable mom) some reason why we can't invite them... blame it on $ or numbers or something.
TheFutureMrs2011
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Re: People who assume they are guests at your Wedding
I'm only invited siblings in-laws that we are close with or actually talk to on a regular basis.
rendel
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Re: People who assume they are guests at your Wedding
The issue is FH feels as though inviting them would take away from my mom, as she constantly feels left out. They don't hate each other or anything, but FH feels my parents will be ignored and he feels like it should be my moms day to be happy and share the day with her children! This is hard, cause I know it will cause problems. I do like them, but I am not close to them at all. Thanks for the support guys, I so appreciate it!!!
Neeks
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Re: People who assume they are guests at your Wedding
lol let them keep waiting? lol thats not nice... IDK im in the same situation - i sometimes say were doing something very small and intimate
JLWSJC
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Re: People who assume they are guests at your Wedding
I'd probably talk to my mom about it then, since it's not an actual conflict that's the problem. Explain to her that they inquired and you don'twant to cause problems by not inviting them, but you want her to be comfortable that day too, and that part is more important to you...
It's YOUR day. And FH. You two don't want to be dealing with family drama, so maybe a conversation can mitigate all of that. Good luck!
