Do you feel your relationship with your inlaws has changed since having the baby? For better or worse?....
Before the baby I think I had much more patience for there nonsense and odd comments, but now I feel like I am so defensive and protective of Claire. I have recently returned to work and only feel comfortable leaving her with my mom, I cant bring myself to let my ILs watch her for a day and I find myself getting so annoyed at their out dated advice, and comments. I hope it gets better, but I wonder if this is common?
ambersmom
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Re: Personal question about inlaws
It's so nice to see you post again
I think it worked in reverse for me. Before, I had no patience with them and enforced a zero tolerance policy in my home. I didn't see ANY of them for two years before the baby was born. Anyhoo, since the baby has come along, she's a lot nicer and more easygoing. Maybe because she knows if she pulls her crap again, she'll be out of not just my life (like she really cares about that I'm sure ) but the baby's too. And since that's her only granddaughter, she HAS to play nice. So overall things have been better.
Good luck, I know it's hard.
070502
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Re: Personal question about inlaws
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emilain
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Re: Personal question about inlaws
Both my husband's and my realtionship has diminished with his parents since our first daughter was born. I use to be very close with them, but the back stabbing, immature bickering and nonsense has really caused us to detatch. i am SOOOOO not use to this since my parents are soooo much different than my husband's parents. It really all started with their lack of involvement in my kids' lives and them blaming everyone except themselves for the lack of involvement. I will never understand nor do I care to anymore. Sometimes it is easier to detatch and just be cordial than to try to work at somethin that just ain't gonna happen. I think when you add your kids to the mix you become very overprotective, I have heard my inlaws say such back stabbing things about people in the family that I decided that I have to protect my kids from the chaos. I don't think many people really love their inlaws, especially after the wedding and even more so after a baby is born. It's really a tough relationship for anyone to nurture, they're not our parents but they're your husband's so you have to give respect, YUCK! Hang in there.
michele31
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Re: Personal question about inlaws
My relationship has not changed. My MIL is very nice and thinks everything is 'lovely'. We have only had one real disagreement which was over Scott's sister being rude to us. There are things that I don't really like about her but in the end she loves my daughter with all of her heart and has never done anything but try to be a nice person.
CathyB
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Re: Personal question about inlaws
My ILs were up here for the past 3 weeks since she was born, and we fought every day. Nothing I do is right - from how I hold her, to what I dress her in, how I'm feeding her, refusing to let people come and visit now (hello - it's cold and flu season and she has a very weak immune system) the list goes on and on.
I refused to let them hold her, which didn't stop the bickering, but made me feel better. They were very mad that I would let my Mom pick her up or watch her if I wanted to run out to the store, but I don't care. I also told DH that if it kept up I was going to refuse to let them in the house ever again. Thankfully he convinced them to go back to Florida on Sunday and they won't be back up until the christening.
jillybean66
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Re: Personal question about inlaws
My relationship with my MIL was good to begin with, but it is even better now with the baby. I trust her with him - she raised 4 kids of her own, and her advice is important to me, outdated or not. I am thankful to have someone there who completely loves my son and is willing to help out. My parents are out of town, so this is especially important.
clpunch: If I refused to let my MIL who traveled from Florida even HOLD the baby, I think she would be a little rude too!! I understand that it is flu season, etc., but you won't even let the grandmother hold her? I guess this is a difference in opinions, but like I said, I would expect controversy if I did this.
Curley999
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Re: Personal question about inlaws
Thanks for the responses. Im sure everyone's situation is different. I think its just that I feel so protective of the baby. clpunch, I can relate, my inlaws are very negative about everything, they constantly go on about how great formula is when they know I am trying to BF, to the point that it really bothers me, then there's always comments about she doesn't eat enough, she isn't tall enough, I don't bathe her right, she doesn't sleep enough, it just goes on and on and it totally wears on me to the point that I don't even want to see them or have them visit. She is a very healthy and active baby who doesn't have any problems. I am going to try to address the negativity with them this weekend and see what happens. I wish I could have them be more involved but it doesn't seem possible with there current attitude. Hopefully if they see how serious I am they will try to change
CathyB
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Re: Personal question about inlaws
I didn't tell them they couldn't hold her from day 1, I stopped letting them hold her after dealing with their bs all day every day for over 2 weeks. You may not agree, but they are now out of my house and I'm able to sleep at night and my daughter doesn't cry non-stop because two morons are yelling at me while I'm holding her.
