PITA BM vent... little long... sorry

Ok... so to quickly recap - One of my BMs has been a complete PITA... first she has me hold on the ordering of BM dresses - b/c she wants to lose weight... I give her three months to try. Second, she tells me she's trying to get pregnant... I give her another three months. Third, she tells my MOHs that she can't do particular days for the BS b/c she's going to be moving that day (wasn't look for houses then)... hence having my Bridal Shower 6 mos b4 my wedding
Fourth, I paid for the deposit of her dress - b/c i find out that she never ordered her dress (holding the order another 2 mos) - so I have to order it for her (covering the $110). I remind her for repayment about two months later - 'OH!!! The checks in the mail' she says. In the interim, the dresses come in and everyone picks up their dresses - or so I thought...

So, fast forward to today, I send her an email about the deposit she still owes me - her answer: I forgot to mail it... I'm old and losing brain cells... blah blah blah!

She then tells me that she needs me to go with her to p/u her dress (the dresses came in TWO MONTHS AGO - she's probably gonna get hit with a crazy storage fee) AND that she needs me to pay for the rest of her dress - b/c she's closing on her house on 9/29 and can't make 'big' purchases until after then... this is all after I told her the week before about how I am COMPLETELY BROKE b/c of this wedding and that FH and I now have a 2nd job to pay for things...

I honestly don't know what to do anymore with her...
She's trying to make everything about her and I am so disappointed considering how much I did for her for her wedding...

Thanks for listening - and if you have any suggestions, I am completely open to them!!!

I would seriously consider whether or not you want this girl in your BP or not....she seems to be working overtime to try and get you to kick her out.

i would NOT pay for the dress unless you really want her there---tell her that it was her responsiblity to do it and since she didn't--then that's her fault. let her know that you feel like she doesn't care about being a part of your big day.....and you have done more than enough to accomodate her--the ball is in her court. either she pays for her dress and picks it up--or she doesn't.

you don't need this kind of stress for your wedding party. its supposed to the ppl who care the most for you and want to do what they can to make your big day easier

Sit her down and talk to her. Tell her you're not trying to put any pressure on her but she seems to be having trouble with the responsibilities associated with being a BM and you want to know whether she still wants to be in. If you take this approach at first it might not be taken as you trying to kick her out.

If the niceties fail, don't be afraid to throw a solid right hook.

---

Posted by cookiemonster

Sit her down and talk to her. Tell her you're not trying to put any pressure on her but she seems to be having trouble with the responsibilities associated with being a BM and you want to know whether she still wants to be in. If you take this approach at first it might not be taken as you trying to kick her out.

If the niceties fail, don't be afraid to throw a solid right hook.

---

Ha! Nice! Unfortunately - we had a discussion about this about four months ago - she told me that I was being selfish and a spoiled brat... I proceeded to tell her that I did not want and will not have someone who thinks of me in that way in my life - nevermind my bridal party... then came the back pedaling and apologizing ('I'm so stressed, busy, etc)... so needless to say - she's back in the party - but the same sh*t is starting up again!

---

Posted by soon2BMrsDee

---

Posted by cookiemonster

Sit her down and talk to her. Tell her you're not trying to put any pressure on her but she seems to be having trouble with the responsibilities associated with being a BM and you want to know whether she still wants to be in. If you take this approach at first it might not be taken as you trying to kick her out.

If the niceties fail, don't be afraid to throw a solid right hook.

---

Ha! Nice! Unfortunately - we had a discussion about this about four months ago - she told me that I was being selfish and a spoiled brat... I proceeded to tell her that I did not want and will not have someone who thinks of me in that way in my life - nevermind my bridal party... then came the back pedaling and apologizing ('I'm so stressed, busy, etc)... so needless to say - she's back in the party - but the same sh*t is starting up again!

---

Cuuute. Well in that case, drop her. You will only have one wedding day and you have every right to be selfish. The spoiled part was uncalled for. Start punching.

---

Posted by cookiemonster

---

Posted by soon2BMrsDee

---

Posted by cookiemonster

Sit her down and talk to her. Tell her you're not trying to put any pressure on her but she seems to be having trouble with the responsibilities associated with being a BM and you want to know whether she still wants to be in. If you take this approach at first it might not be taken as you trying to kick her out.

If the niceties fail, don't be afraid to throw a solid right hook.

---

Ha! Nice! Unfortunately - we had a discussion about this about four months ago - she told me that I was being selfish and a spoiled brat... I proceeded to tell her that I did not want and will not have someone who thinks of me in that way in my life - nevermind my bridal party... then came the back pedaling and apologizing ('I'm so stressed, busy, etc)... so needless to say - she's back in the party - but the same sh*t is starting up again!

---

Cuuute. Well in that case, drop her. You will only have one wedding day and you have every right to be selfish. The spoiled part was uncalled for. Start punching.

---

Chuck her!!!!!

---

Posted by soon2BMrsDee

---

Posted by cookiemonster

Sit her down and talk to her. Tell her you're not trying to put any pressure on her but she seems to be having trouble with the responsibilities associated with being a BM and you want to know whether she still wants to be in. If you take this approach at first it might not be taken as you trying to kick her out.

If the niceties fail, don't be afraid to throw a solid right hook.

---

Ha! Nice! Unfortunately - we had a discussion about this about four months ago - she told me that I was being selfish and a spoiled brat... I proceeded to tell her that I did not want and will not have someone who thinks of me in that way in my life - nevermind my bridal party... then came the back pedaling and apologizing ('I'm so stressed, busy, etc)... so needless to say - she's back in the party - but the same sh*t is starting up again!

---

Sit her down again. Explain to her that you completely understand the financial burdon 'life' can put on us, which is WHY you can't pay for the rest of her dress and that you need her to pay you the $110 she owes you. Let her know that if this is something she can't handle right now, than she needs to back out now before she causes you and herself more stress than it's all worth... if she gets all pissy... who cares!
Good luck!

---

Posted by soon2BMrsDee

---

Posted by cookiemonster

Sit her down and talk to her. Tell her you're not trying to put any pressure on her but she seems to be having trouble with the responsibilities associated with being a BM and you want to know whether she still wants to be in. If you take this approach at first it might not be taken as you trying to kick her out.

If the niceties fail, don't be afraid to throw a solid right hook.

---

Ha! Nice! Unfortunately - we had a discussion about this about four months ago - she told me that I was being selfish and a spoiled brat... I proceeded to tell her that I did not want and will not have someone who thinks of me in that way in my life - nevermind my bridal party... then came the back pedaling and apologizing ('I'm so stressed, busy, etc)... so needless to say - she's back in the party - but the same sh*t is starting up again!

---

so this time put ur foot down and tell her how u dont need a selfish person in YOUR life!!!!

I have an evil BM as well at this point I feel like you are far enough away to say if you can't be here for me right now I need you to not be in the wedding party.

I know it sounds harsh but I am to close to do anything with mine now and I am kicking myself for not having it out with her a while ago now I am gonna have to bite my tounge and avoid her on my WEDDING DAY!!!! and that just sux.

I am glad in a way that she is being bad, because it makes me love an honor my friends and family that are there for me right now that much more.........

I'm sorry you have to deal with this nonsense when you have so much going on.

What do I say to her in this case... she's such a hot head... it's not something I can or want to deal with - I know I'm right in this - but she is just so vicious... I never thought she would be that way with me... but since she married her jack@ss of a husband - she's just unbearable!! I tried to be as subjective as possible the first time, stating exactly what I was noticing, and she just turned it around on me as if I was the problem...