When putting a childs name under their parents do you
A. Mr. & Mrs. David Jones & Mr. John Jones
B. Mr. & Mrs. David Jones & John
C. OTHER - EXPLAIN
samsbride
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Re: Place card Ettiquite HELP
Mrs. Jane Jones Mr. David Jones Mr. John Jones
I always use a woman's first name - I'd be pissed off if I didn't get a first name but my child did!
samsbride
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Re: Place card Ettiquite HELP
sorry it posted twice
kptoys
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Really, you dont think that Mr. & Mrs. Jones is ok? You think I should spell out everyones names?
marymoon
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Re: Place card Ettiquite HELP
kp: Mr &Mrs is TOTALLY acceptable socially.
For me, I am across the baord using women's first names on invites, etc. I NEVER want to be Mrs. FH. But I may be in the minority here, as I'm not even taking FH's last name. It's a decision you have to make, but make it across the board. Mr&Mrs. is the generally accpeted way of doing it though,
kptoys
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Re: Place card Ettiquite HELP
Thanks. I know 99% of these people took their DH's names. If I know differently I would put her name.
samsbride
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Oops - I think my post was confusing.
My point is that it can offend people if you say Mr. & Mrs. David Jones but if these women took their husbands last names - you can write Mr. & Mrs. Jones.
If you use the males first name - use the females too. If you don't use a first name for either - then I think that's fine.
So you could write Mr. and Mrs. Jones John Jones (child)
kptoys
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Re: Place card Ettiquite HELP
Samsbride - i loove your suggestion but there are about 5 people Mr. & Mrs. F
marymoon
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kp: I've never seen anyone do Mr & Mrs. Jones. Esp at a wedding when there are families! Mr. and mrs david jones is perfectly acceptable. For myself, once I'm married, I'm going to make it clear that I am still Ms. Jennifer and Not Mrs. FH. If you knwo someone like that, then you can out it, but otherwise Mr & Mrs david jones is the generally accepted way of doing it. It's perfectly acceptable. It's one of those things that's not great, but it is the norm, and I don't think people will be really offended by it. I don't get offended when people call me Mrs. FH (and we're not even married) LOL. I'd just correct them. it's justa palce card. Plus, if you're already on place cards, you've already sent out invites, so you have to keep to the stanard you kept on the invites. Honestly, I'm really big personally on 'I have my own name, thank you very much.' But a lot of women, especially older ones are not like that. and the ones who are won't be offended. It may not be 'right' but we know that right or wrong, it is the socially acceptable thing at this time.
samsbride
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Re: Place card Ettiquite HELP
Marymoon - I don't understand your response. You say you are not Mrs. FH and then say you are Ok being called that. I am not OK with that and am lucky my FH finds it annoying too (his mom is 50 and she would never respond to Mrs. husband's name).
FH said he wants his name and would be annoyed being called Mr. Wife's First Name so why should I be called by his name. I was just pointing out that many women want to have their first names used IF their husbands first names are used. If you are not using either first names (just last names) it doesn't matter.
You know your guests so you make the call for them. I just know that I would definitely be upset and within my group of friends - all agreed that they also will not go by Mrs. husband's name. I consider it disrespectful to not call a woman by her given first name. Everyone should do what they want but the way I plan to do things is to try to offend as few people as possible. If people prefer old etiquette and don't mind offending a few people - go ahead. I prefer the new etiquette and least offensive way of addressing people. If you know of women who changed their first names to their husband's first name and prefer to be addressed that way - then that is the way to do it. Just my opinion but I know that I never really thought about how I addressed things. I did what I saw in books. Then a friend of mine was reminded that women like to keep their first names these days and it got me thinking that it makes sense to call everyone by their first name rather than someone else's.
september2004
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Re: Place card Ettiquite HELP
as of now we plan to go less formal with the place cards...
i anticipate we will do first name last name and forgo the mr. & mrs. altogether...
marymoon
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Re: Place card Ettiquite HELP
samsbride- it sort of doe spiss me off. But it doens;t piss me off that people call me that, it pisses me off that that is the social conventionand women are expected to take their DH's name. I woudnlt hold it against someone for making the mistake once. I recognize that the convensitons of society as a whole and my own personal feelings are different.
ETA: For me personally I'm going to Put 'Mr. and Mrs. Jane and John Smith,' but it seemed like the bride whos tarted this post had already done 'Mr and Mrs. John Smith, ' on the invites which, although not my ideal, I was trying to assure her, is totally acceptable. It seemed like she'd done it on the ivnites but was now worried it was wrong. Alos her original Q wasn;t about how toa dress the couple, but how to address the child!
