please give me your advice about bm's(long)

Ok Guys I want to know if i am out of control or not.
Before I had asked my BP to be in our wedding i had wanted an aunt of mine but because she was pregnant and will have a one year old fh and i figured money was tight and decided to ask a friend of mine to be a bm.... i have known her foru about 8 years and in that time we have become good friends. Well when my grandfather died this friend did not come to the wake, or funeral. She didnt send a card. She called me and left me a message the day after the funeral and said hey its me hope the past couple of days were ok......so a few days ago i wrote her an email telling her how it hurt me because whenever stuff happens to her i have been there for her.... she wrote me back saying she couldnt find a ride to the wake/funeral and she was at the store to buy a card but it never made it into the basket....(whatever that means) and that shes sorry im mad at her.... the end. I feel so hurt and i dont want her in my weedding anymore...i have never been one that agrees with firing a bm or moh but in this situation i feel that if she cant be around to support me in a bad time then i dont want her around me for a good time....
so my question is am i overreacting??? Everyone in my family agrees with me but we are a bunch of hotheaded italians so i wanted some input from you guys....
thanks

i completely agree with u...her just saying that she was going to buy a card for u 'but it never made it into the basket' shows that she doesnt care that much...im sorry you are going through with all this

When my grandmother passed away my good friend didn't even call me for a few days, and then we got a card in the mail a few days after the funeral. When I told her it hurt my feelings, she said she was giving me time and space to be with family... so maybe everyone just handles/reacts to these things differently. I can understand why you were upset .

Maybe let some time pass though before you make any decisions about her status as a bridesmaid... maybe she will redeem herself?

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Posted by Megs4

When my grandmother passed away my good friend didn't even call me for a few days, and then we got a card in the mail a few days after the funeral. When I told her it hurt my feelings, she said she was giving me time and space to be with family... so maybe everyone just handles/reacts to these things differently. I can understand why you were upset .

Maybe let some time pass though before you make any decisions about her status as a bridesmaid... maybe she will redeem herself?

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I agree, some people handle things differently...

as long as she has been there in the past for you....

but on the other hand...I would be upset about it also.

I can see why you are upset...but I wouldnt throw her out of your bridal party....do you not want to be friends with her anymore? b/c most likely it will lead down to that road if you kick her out...
Is this the only bad thing that she has done to you? I would wait a few days and then think about it....then decide..

I am so sorry for your loss .. I do not think you are overreacting at all, I would do the same thing in this situation, she doesn't need to be there for the good times if she won't be there during the bad times. Again my heart is with you and your family!

I am sorry for your loss!

Some people find it hard to deal with death., she may have been scared to approach you....she could have felt uncomfortable attending....

Try to look past it and focus on the good of your relationship....I know friends are there in good and bad times...but you would not believe how uncomfortable she may feel