Please Help!

I have a really stressful problem that I need help with. A friend of mine and my FH is not getting along with my future in-laws. Things were said and done by our friend that was very hurtful to my future in-laws. My future in-laws can be extremely stubborn and have made it clear that they do not want that person at MY wedding. FH has tried talking with his parents asking them to respect our wishes and to just ignore that person at the wedding, but the future in-laws pretty much said they will no go if the friend is invited.

My FH honestly feels that if he talks to the friend and explains that although we would love to have him at our wedding, unfortunately we cannot because of all the things that have happened recently with his friend and his parents he believes his friend will understand.

FH is getting sick of everything and is starting to feel that if he invites the friend it will ruin his relationship with his family. I know blood is thicker than water, but am I wrong by possibly having FH choose between his parents and his friend. But I feel that it is MY day and I should not be told who I can and cannot invite to MY wedding. I also feel that this will ruin our relationship with our friend even though FH thinks it won’t.

Please help!

I'm sorry the both of you are going through this. I also don't understand why you keep referring to the wedding as 'MY'.... isn't it for the both of you?

Anyway, in regards to the situation at hand...I think it's a decision to be made by your FH. I would not get involved b/c like you said, blood is thicker than water, and there's a certain level of respect that falls into place.

I'm not justifying having to make a choice between family or friends, but in t he end (or perhaps when things cool down a bit) you can always invite the friend last minute. The parents have clearly stated that they would feel uncomfortable with this person being there. It's their child getting married, and it's a once in a lifetime opportunity, I would make them feel as comfortable as possible, and drama-free as possible.

I think the idea of having anyone choose a friend OVER a parent is absurd.

It seems like this 'Friend' disrespected your fh's parents...maybe I am drastic, but I don't consider people that can't respect ME or MY parents, a friend. b/c let's face it, he can't have much respect for your fh if he can do something to his parents to make them react this way...

from what you are saying, fh's parents don't seem to be in the wrong here....I think you should rethink giving him an ultimatum involving the two people that raised him.