Ok ladies, I need your help. Everyone seems to think it is up to me to pay for my mother in laws dress as well as all three flower girl (his nieces) dresses as well as their hair and make up. If I could, I would but I am tight on cash. I had to quit my job for school and everyone knows that. How do I politely tell them they have to buy their own dresses? Am I being mean about this?
enjft
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Re: Please Help
That is not even an option. Tell them that you would love too but right now you cannot due to the wedding.
MrsMichel07
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I can't EVEN answer this one....
But I think I will.... they seem to expect u to pay for all these people's attire and then everything else... they got to be kidding me!!!!
And it FMIL expecting this as well.... kindly give FMIL a list of all the things you will have to pay for your wedding then TELL her that there is NOWAY that you could add on the extra expense to dress her and everybody else.......
bellaro782
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Re: Please Help
Posted by Val
Ok ladies, I need your help. Everyone seems to think it is up to me to pay for my mother in laws dress as well as all three flower girl (his nieces) dresses as well as their hair and make up. If I could, I would but I am tight on cash. I had to quit my job for school and everyone knows that. How do I politely tell them they have to buy their own dresses? Am I being mean about this?
HUmmmmm, I have Never ever heard of such a thing.... that is crazy... tell them to pay for your dress and then you can think about it.... It is a known fact that everyone in the bridal party pays their own hair make up and dress shoes Ect, and for your FMIL she out of all people shouldn't consider even thinking about you paying for her.... I wouldnt worry about this its not your responsibily you have enough on your plate.. kindly say that you have too much to pay for and that if they cant afford to be in the party then they shouldnt.. You cant pay for them cause then you would have to pay for everyone and that is just Insane....
Val
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Re: Please Help
Thank you girls. At least I know I am not being unreasonable.
RobbsWifey
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Someone PLEASE tell me when this wedding law came into affect??? I am the youngest of 4 and in addition to my siblings, I've been to several other family weddings and I have never in my life heard of this rule! I could Maybe, and just maybe, understand the flower girls, but the FMIL! No way! I don't think you need to worry about being tactful on this one. You're FMIL shouldn't have made the presumption that you were going to do that. Like you don't have enough bills already. Just tell her you are not in a financial position to pay for her dress, smile and walk away. Good Luck!
kam0813
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Re: Please Help
you're not being mean or unreasonable. they're being rude! they know you're not in the financial position to pay for all these things yet they demanded it anyway. people are so unreal, its like weddings bring out the crazy in people. anyway the best thing to do is sit your FMIL down and politely tell her (always with a smile on your face) that as much as you would love too buy her dress for her as well as pay for her hair and makeup (yeah...RIGHT ) you're just not in a place financially where you can. Kill the lady with kindness, she won't know what to do with herself because she's probably waiting for you to freak out on her so she can complain to everyone.
And as for the flowergirls, i'm sure their makeup isn't that expensive but still its the principle of it so just pretty much do the same thing with their parents.
And if after all that they continue to complain, remember to keep that happy happy smile and upbeat attitude and simply tell them that they can simply choose to not be in the wedding party if they cannot afford to pay for the things that come with the responsibility of being in a wedding party.
Brassgirl9
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Re: Please Help
OH my god that's insane! Tell them if they want to be a part of your wedding they will have to pay for their own outfits and make-up. LOL of course you can say it a little nicer than that Maybe they think you have the money for some reason, Start complaining about how expensive things are and how you're short on money these days. Maybe they will get the hint. How does you FH feel about it?
Mooshyboo
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Re: Please Help
I have never heard of this before...Paying for your MIL dress and the flower girls dresses...
I would tell them although I would love to if I had the money to but unfortunately I don't have it to pay for.... This sounds like a touchy and delicate situation - What does your FH say?
JazzyT
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I have never heard of this
Blu-ize
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Ask them to send you a copy of the rules regarding this.
They should all be responsible for their own attire.
chrissyandvin
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I have never ever heard of that before! That's just insane! No that is not your job to pay for her dress!!
ksl268
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This is a mystery to me...........I have never heard of anyone buying their MIL and FG's dresses. I may be out of the loop here but IMO I think you should simply sit her down and tell her flat out that this is not a possibilty. She must pay for her own dress and the parents of the FG's must pay for their dresses.
bride_to_be_2007
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hmmm....i wonder where they got that idea from. Def. not the typical way of doing it and it is extremely rude of them to expect it!!
brittny817
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I'm not sure what your and/or FH's traditions and culture are but, is that customary for you to buy FMIL's dress/attire?
If not, that's just plain crazy. I couldn't afford to pay for my mom's dress never mind FMIL's. I would say I would love to do it but given all the expenses involved with the wedding I simply can't afford to. It's always best to be diplomatic
lilred13
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That responsiblity is not up to you. The makeup would be a gift if you wanted to. The dressses are definately not on you. My FSIL is paying for her daughters dresses. I hope you can work through this. Keep us updated
mskittynj
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Re: Please Help
aww sweetie, I can imagine how that muct stink! My FMIL went dress shopping and she didn't have any money either so I had to foot the bill, but she gave me $50 towards it and said she will pay the rest. So I can see how awkward it is for you to be in that situation. I would just let them know nicely you have a lot of other responsibilities with the wedding and you can't afford to pay for it. XOXOXOXO Kitty
2Be1
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I'm sorry, but I am that they would even expect such drastic financial obligations from you
N.Y.bride
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Who in the heck pays for their MILs dress? I never ever heard of that! If you have to get the flower girls dresses (which I dont think you should unless thats your gift to them) I have seen nice ones for approx $30 at the flea market etc...
Hair & Makeup - no way!! Thats a whole heck of a lot of $$! Id only pay for it if thats your gift to them!!
I think whoever is telling you this has no idea what theyre talking about. I mean geez! Were already spending THOUSANDS on the wedding itself!
Val
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Re: Please Help (updated)
My FH's fam feels since I want the big wedding I should help them pay for things because they are not financially abundant (if that makes sense. they aren't poor they are ok and i am not rich but have a little more than them.) My FH is the only one in his fam to be getting married the right way. Everyone else in the fam was about 17 or not married with a few kids. I thought I was reasonable and told them that they can buy any flower girl dress of Mother of the Groom dress that they felt comfortable and reasonable. (financially) My FH feels terrible that his fam doesnt want to pay so he offered to. (to me not to them) I explained that the money is coming from the same place and that is money we can use for an apartment. I told my FMIL I found inexpensive dresses and I would split it with her, but the hair and make up is up to her. I told her she just had to look nice. My mom isn't going professional. I am not about to make everyone go crazy. i told her just some lip gloss and eye shadow and your good to go. I hope this worked
