please help--i don't know what to do about my grandma's china!!

SummerBride06 Posted: Jan 02, 2006 06:07 PM

please help--i don't know what to do about my grandma's china!!

ok, here's the long story as short as i can make it. my grandma died 5 years ago. we were VERY close. a few months ago, my mom told me i can have my grandma's china after my grandparents were both deceased. i registered for my own china anyway because i didn't want to think about my grandpa having to die. i got 3 place settings for christmas.

well, the unthinkable happened and as some of you may remember, my grandpa died 2 weeks ago. i was heartbroken.

but now i'm faced witha dilemma. do i keep my grandma's china (which she bought 30 years ago, it's gold (i'm not a gold person) and several pieces are chipped). it's really not my style, but it was HERS. although, she wasn't a very sentimental person, so she probably wouldn't have kept her own grandma's china.

OR, do i not take hers and they get packed away until who knows when and keep mine on my registry. i LOVE my china, but i LOVE my grandparents way more than i could ever love china. i know it's pretty stupid to have 2 sets of china. where would i keep them and when would i use 2 sets??

this may seem like a petty thing to some, but it's really upsetting me. i want to keep my grandma's memory alive, but i realize her china isn't her. but i also would think of her every time i used it, even though it is not my style at all.

ETA: i literally don't know if i'll have room for 2 sets. my grandma's china and stemware takes up her whole china cabinet. 2 sets wouldn't fit and i'd want to display both i think. but i guess i could box one set...

please help

beautyq115 Posted: Jan 02, 2006 06:09 PM

Re: please help--i don't know what to do about my grandma's china!!

I would keep her china!

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Jan 02, 2006 06:09 PM

Re: please help--i don't know what to do about my grandma's china!!

I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa

IMO, you should keep both sets. put theirs away for a keepsake. we ALL have things that we don't ever use but can't bare to part with. this qualifies as one of those things.

Boop2704 Posted: Jan 02, 2006 06:11 PM

Re: please help--i don't know what to do about my grandma's china!!

Posted by dleeny

I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa

IMO, you should keep both sets. put theirs away for a keepsake. we ALL have things that we don't ever use but can't bare to part with. this qualifies as one of those things.

I agree...who knows maybe one day you will have a use for it, and if not you, maybe your daughter one day!!

Goldi1021 Posted: Jan 02, 2006 06:11 PM

Re: please help--i don't know what to do about my grandma's china!!

I would keep both sets and when your set is complete, alternate the holidays/celebrations and use both.

sarahbelle Posted: Jan 02, 2006 06:13 PM

Re: please help--i don't know what to do about my grandma's china!!

I would keep both. You'll leave hers in your china cabinet to admire, but use yours for entertaining.

ZuzusPetals Posted: Jan 02, 2006 06:22 PM

Re: please help--i don't know what to do about my grandma's china!!

kk i would keep a setting or two of your gradmas and find a creative way to display it. Perhaps a nice shadow box or shelf - and maybe another memento in remembrance of them. i know its a hard decision so I would make the best of both options. dont keep the entire setting if you dont want to use it (and you said its not really your tatse) just utilize it in a way that reflects the love you have for them. its an honor to have something like that but it doesnt mean you have to use it in the 'traditional' way. Hope this was helpful to you! Good luck with your decision!

mcb916 Posted: Jan 02, 2006 06:30 PM

Re: please help--i don't know what to do about my grandma's china!!

Posted by ZuzusPetals

kk i would keep a setting or two of your gradmas and find a creative way to display it. Perhaps a nice shadow box or shelf - and maybe another memento in remembrance of them. i know its a hard decision so I would make the best of both options. dont keep the entire setting if you dont want to use it (and you said its not really your tatse) just utilize it in a way that reflects the love you have for them. its an honor to have something like that but it doesnt mean you have to use it in the 'traditional' way. Hope this was helpful to you! Good luck with your decision!

Great Idea- I think you should keep both, but use yours. It seems to me that keeping it is important to you.

tbtmickey Posted: Jan 02, 2006 06:48 PM

Re: please help--i don't know what to do about my grandma's china!!

I had a similar thing happen, although I happen to like my grandma's china...honestly I don't really care too much about china, but since it was hers I love it. I would keep your on the registry because you love it, and take hers, even if it's in a box, because your style could change and you may end up liking hers someday. Or maybe your daughter one day...she would probably want you to have them if you were so close. So would keep them both!

DUCKS2001 Posted: Jan 02, 2006 08:44 PM

Re: please help--i don't know what to do about my grandma's china!!

i would get your grandparents china. u were close to your grandmother and that means more than anything . i am having my grandparents china and cannot wait. ny grandmother said i can get it anytime. its a memory and a part of the family and the grandparents you loved always.

RomeBride Posted: Jan 02, 2006 09:07 PM

Re: please help--i don't know what to do about my grandma's china!!

If it were me I'd DEFINITELY keep both sets because if you gave up your family heirloom china you may regret that later and if you sacrifice your favorite registry set you may also wish you hadn't done that.

If you wind up being ok with not taking your grandma's china, is there anyone else in the family who would be able to take it so it stays in the family?

Another idea that I had was for you to sell the china ONLY if that's what you want and USE THE PROCEEDS to make an ultra special quilt, memory book, or other special family item to keep your grandparents' memory alive. In other words, you wouldn't be losing the china only but gaining a new keepsake that may be easier to display than 2 sets of china. Still though I'd just leave one boxed up, I'm too sentimental to get rid of something like that.

HTH, let us know what ya do please!

babybug631 Posted: Jan 02, 2006 09:11 PM

Re: please help--i don't know what to do about my grandma's china!!

Does you're mom want you to have them, or was it your grandmother that wanted you to have them? If it was your mom I wouldn't feel pressured to keep them. If it was grandma, then I would take them and display a few of them and pack the rest away. You don't need to display the ENTIRE set. If you know of another grandchild that may NEED them more than you, than offer them up.

soontobemrsRG Posted: Jan 02, 2006 09:23 PM

Re: please help--i don't know what to do about my grandma's china!!

Keep your grandparents and get your own too....that way you can have the best of both worlds

tiffandmatt Posted: Jan 02, 2006 10:23 PM

Re: please help--i don't know what to do about my grandma's china!!

Keep both! Even if you keep her set wrapped and boxed up safely, I'm sure that in the long run you'll be happy that you have hers, as well as your own.

Maybe you could use hers as everyday settings, and use yours for fancy events?